Daily Inspiration #91
John Paul Kotter
Lead or Accept

Dr. John Paul Kotter is the Konosuke Matsushita Professor of Leadership, Emeritus, at the Harvard Business School, a New York Times best-selling author, the founder of Kotter International (a management consulting firm based in Seattle and Boston), and a well-known thought leader in the fields of business, leadership, and change.
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Here is a great quote from John today:

“Most people don’t lead their own lives – they accept their lives.”

All to often we can find ourselves simply accepting what is around us as if we have no control over it.

The truth is, we have complete control over it.

Maybe you've never thought of yourself as a leader.

Maybe you are actually no good at leading other people.

That's ok you know, not everyone can lead other people.

If they could there would not be anyone for us to lead.

The only person you really need to lead is yourself.

Many of us do not have take charge attitudes and that is perfectly fine.

When it comes to your own life though, if you do not take charge then you cannot create the change you want.

You cannot shape your life the way you want.

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In order to really get the things we want in life, we have to be in control of it.

If we are simply accepting the things that we are given then we are not really in control.

So what's the difference?

The difference is simple.

You are either acting or reacting.

Every moment of every day, during every situation in every way, you have a choice.

A choice to act or to react to whatever situation is happening.

We don't know what we don't know so many of us do not even realize we have that much choice in our lives.

Once we are made aware we can then begin to create massive changes.

We are then starting to gain control and leadership over our own lives.

It's easy for us to believe that we had no choice but to react a certain way to something.

We may even say to our friends, "Wouldn't you have reacted the same?".

The truth is many people may not have reacted that way at all.

This is where you can see that you do indeed have choice.

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If we are used to reacting it can take time to be any good at acting instead but here is a small practice to get you in the groove.

Begin to notice times when you have simply reacted to circumstance.

Pick one thing at first, like when you hurt yourself for example do you yell, curse or get upset?

Once you have found something like this begin to monitor it.

The next time it happens you will likely react as you always have.

Be conscious of it.

Be aware that you did indeed simply react and make a plan for how you will better handle it next time.

"Awe man I really did just react to that, next time I'll act this way."

The next time you may still simply react but you will be more aware of it.

Stick to your plan, say it again to yourself and really mean it.

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It won't take to many times of repeating this that you will all of the sudden notice that you have not simply reacted.

Instead you have stopped and made a decision during a moment you thought was impossible to make a decision from.

A moment you thought was meant to only be reaction.

At this point you have proven to yourself that you do indeed have a choice to act or to react.

You have now shown yourself that you can be in the drivers seat no matter the situation.

To make this stick all you need to do is practice it.

Keep finding new situations that you have always reacted to a certain way and changing them to act a way that you intend.

A way that gives you a desired outcome.

It will not take long to realize the power this holds for your life.

It will not take long before you are leading your life instead of accepting it.

Remember,

“Most people don’t lead their own lives – they accept their lives.”

Thanks for reading,
Michael David
@michaeldavid

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