[Short Story] - Abducted

in #writing3 years ago (edited)

The writing prompt was:

"You wake up in an unfamiliar country, you have been badly beaten. You don't know your name or how you got there."

Provided by @braveheart29

Two things before you head off to the story:
1 . @braveheart29, I apologize for it being so cruel.
2 . I have never before written a story that is 100 % monolog. And it's pretty damn hard.

Image by @rocking-dave


”Where am I? Why can’t I open my eyes? Why can’t I move? What’s going on?
Hey! Heeey!
I can’t feel anything. I don’t think it worked. I’ll try again.
Hey, what’s that? I hear something. I can’t quite make it out but I hear it! Oh come on! Why can’t I move?
Footsteps? Am I hearing this right?
Definitely footsteps.
Hey! I’m here! Help me!
Oh. They stopped. I can’t even tell how far away they were. Sure sounded distant.
Wait. What’s that? Is that metal clashing? Sounds as if someone was shaking a toolbox of some sort.
Over here! Heey!
What's the last thing I remember? Eating dinner? What?
This is getting really scary. Can this please stop? Am I dreaming? Is my body still asleep but my mind woke up? Like sleep paralysis or something. Shit, I read somewhere you see demons when that happens. And you can’t move and they get to you and they do whatever the hell they want to you and - Help! Over here! Please someone! Save me, please!
Alright. Calm down. No demons yet, so there probably won’t even be any. Just breathe slowly and relax.
What? I can’t feel myself breathing. I swear, I can’t feel it. What the fuck? What’s going on?
Alright, calm down. Really.
What’s that? I can hear people talking. I can definitely hear people talking. What’s that language? Something Slavic? Russian, maybe? Who am I kidding, all of them sound Russian to me.
What are they talking about? All I’m getting is comrade. That tells me straight up nothing.
Heey! Over here! Help me!
Maybe if I try to just move my fingers a little. Just my pinky. Maybe I can do that. Start small, just like the saying goes, right?
Nope. Can’t do it.
Great. Now what? Wait until I wake up or something? No, no, no, there has to be something I can do about this.

Shit. What’s that sound? I must’ve zoned out and missed something. What’s going on? What’s happening?
Am I being moved somewhere? I can definitely hear two people walking.
Water? Why did I just hear a splash? Did someone just dump a massive rock inside a lake or something?
Hey! Why are you walking away from me? Help me for fuck’s sake! I’m here!
Am I feeling cold? I’m definitely feeling cold. Why am I feeling cold all of a sudden?
I see! Finally! I made it! Oh man, I opened my eyes.
Hold on.
Well this is fucking great. It’s all blurry as fuck. Here I am celebrating I opened my eyes and still I can’t see shit.
Alright, stop complaining all the time. Let’s try to focus on something, how about that, hm?
Why is there no light in here?
What’s that? Call an ambulance. Why the fuck is there a sign in front of me?
Wait. Am I where I think I am?
Oh fuck no! Not the fucking bathtub. Oh god no, come on! It cannot be. Shit. No. Please be dreaming, please be dreaming.
Is there a cellphone somewhere? God, may there be a cellphone somewhere, please!
There! Oh, and it’s already dialed in! Come on, come on, come on, just extend the fucking arm!
Oh god, please. Please just let me fucking move!

For whoever didn’t understand the story: it’s about a man who got his organs stolen. It’s common practice for the victim to be left in a bathtub filled with water and ice with a phone nearby to call for help when they wake up.

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constrained writing contest.jpg

If you enjoy writing yourself, I am hosting a constrained writing contest, where each week I limit your writing with various rules and force you to be creative in brand new ways! If you're not a writer yourself, check it out and see what others have come up with! :D

I turn your writing prompts into stories.

Previous writing prompts I have fulfilled:

Happy ending
#1 - Living off the grid
#3 - A young thief
#8 - A traitor from hell
#9 - Not alone
#10 - Millitary testing grounds
#13 - Bigfoot
#14 - And angel in love with a whore
#15 - Down the rabbit hole
#18 - Reborn as a 10 year old
#19 - A struggling door to door salesman
#24 - Rebellious talking food
#26 - Ssssnails!
#28 - Mission Erased
#32 - Dog's breath
#38 - Abducted
#2 - A dolphin tea party
#4 - Stained hands
#7 - The giant depressed onion
#21 - The red star
#25 - Long-distance Relationship
#27 - A dream
#30 - Potato
#31 - Dragons
#33 - The Jungle
#35 - A life lesson
#36 - Unicorn meat

#5 - The homeless man
#6 - A blind date
#11 - The wealthy man
#12 - Happy ending
#16 - Asshole soulmate
#17 - My bunny Fluffy
#20 - War veteran
#22 - Wishing to meet a villain
#23 - School trip

#29 - Green Chewing Gum
#34 - Turkey Trauma
#37 - Stuck in a loop

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Learn how to do it here.

Five minute freewrite challenges I have fulfilled:

Fire, Toilet, Flash, Soft feet, Pillow, Grounding, Surprise, Ending the pain, Going for a walk, Car Mechanic, Murderer, Dog hair, Ducks, Untested medicine, Forbidden love, Vacation, Awakening, Dentist.

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Gif by @rocking-dave


Excellent, my friend!

Thanks! Glad you liked it, despite it being ... overly... brutal. :3

Reminds me of something I wrote in September. The Intruder.

I crouched in the back corner of the closet, my body shaking with fear, trying to slow down my breathing to make it less audible.

"I know you are in here somewhere. Come out so I can see you. It's time to play!" boomed the stranger in a deep, threatening voice.

I could hear the sound of blades scraping together, as he moved throughout my first-floor apartment. I held my hands tightly over my mouth, trying to be quiet, hoping the intruder would just take what he wanted and leave.

"Sara, SARA, Sara!", said the man in a mocking tone,

I hear the sounds of blades, this time much closer. "How the hell, does he know my name?" I wonder.

"Times up Sara!" as the masked figure threw open the closet door. Gloved hands reached for my throat, and I feel a sharp pinch at the back of my neck, then nothing.

The next moment, I find myself on a table in a brightly lit room.

"Doctor, I think she might be waking up," a woman says.

"Doesn't matter," said the doctor "I've already got the liver and the kidneys. Now time for the heart."

I never thought you'd be writing such creepy/brutal stories!
Apparently I got a wrong impression about you, because this story is a-mazing! :D
Thanks for sharing!

Thank you, I think this one a prize. GMUXX 199 word challenge. I think.

Surely does deserve a prize :D And as far as I remember, gmuxx loves some good gore :P

Congratulations "again" then! :D
You've earned it! :D
Maybe I should have a look at these Stach competitions~ Hmmmm.

This is very well written thank you for sharing with us.

Are there any rules about the prompts? If not, here are a few:

the purple road

a goat, a cat, a slug (include all three in one story)

a terrible word

No rules at all! Although I can't promise I'll do all of these..
I'll go with the purple road first, since you listed it first... and then see if I get any other prompts. :P If not, it's all 3 of yours. :D
Will try to be as fast as possible, but no promises, much to do these days. :3
Thanks for the prompts though! :D They sound fun ^^