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Entry 4

Derek.

How much more could one being take? Now that his presence had knocked both worlds off their axes, she needed to think. She needed less of an assault on her brain. She needed focus. Clarity. Time. Peace. Peace? Would that even be possible anymore?

She could have escaped back to her world. Exploring and creating anything and everything in her personal queendom, but she hadn't built up the nerve to return yet. What would it feel like to enter that space? Would the loss be more real? Would their absence be more complete?

No.

She wouldn't be returning there anytime soon. She could only go back there if she stabilized, whenever that would be. Though she salivated temporarily over the thought of destroying Derek, she feared how quickly her rage took hold. If she stayed here, she wondered if this dangerous, new temptation would eat her alive from the inside out.

Maybe she should just get away. Money wasn't an issue. The insurance from her mother's policies would have her set for life. After her father had passed away, her mother must have increased the policies significantly in the event that something should happen to her as well. It had - and now Talia would never have to worry about anything as long as she chose to live.

But traveling? She scoffed at the thought of it. Funny that she actually could feel less affected traveling to the far corners of this world, with all its people and personalities and noise, than returning to an empty world of her own. She inhaled deeply and retreated into planning mode. She used to excel at organizing her thoughts. The process allowed her to gain control and wrestle chaos into order. Escaping her environment wasn't a long-term solution by any means, but it helped to bide her time until she figured out what her future held. Logically, she could be distracted by the beauty of nature, get away from this latest assault on her dwindling peace, and decide which level of existence she chose to embrace.

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