Sometimes, All You Need to Do is Say No!!
I think the title of my post says it all, but if you do follow me, you know I don't do succinct. Nah, that's just not me. I am verbose and soft haha. Sorry, that came out unintentionally. Actually, every night before dozing off, my son tells me how much he loves me because I am soft and also reminds me of his mission to make me slim haha so I was thinking of that and unintentionally that came out, but I am in no mood of changing it because I am liking the way it is flowing. Okay, so back to the topic.
I have been through many tough times in life. Before I became an adult, a lot of the hardships I faced were because of the wrong decisions taken by my parents, business, personal and otherwise. However, when I became an adult and did start living a life on my own slowly, I became more accountable for my actions. I did make some wrong decisions in life and one important lesson that I learned, the hard way though, but I did learn it, was that sometimes in life, all you need to do to escape a problem is to just say a NO.
I have been a victim of the people pleasing dilemma and for a long time had this need of being liked and approved by all. This made me take on so many tasks and responsibilities at the same time that I was exhausting myself to the core. Just because I did not want to disappoint some people, I kept doing their stuff on behalf of them and kept making things easier for them and harder for me. Fortunately, I did realize my mistake and understood that the only reason I was miserable because I was letting myself be miserable. It wasn't my duty to make sure life is perfect for everyone and if I just dare say a No to those people, I would make it easier for me. So finally I did muster up the courage to say no to those people and while the after-effects weren't as nice in the start, things did become better.
I also realized that I wasn't really doing a favor to those people by taking on their obligations. I was basically letting them slack and fall prey to their doubts and negative thoughts. So when I firmly and clearly told them they could no longer fall on me as if I was there bean bag, they too started to become more responsible. So my NO not only helped me, but turned out to be a blessing in disguise for them too.
Now, I have made this pact with myself that I won't in any case take on all the responsibilities of others and burden myself. Yes, I am still helpful but I am nobody's couch.
What are your thoughts on the topic? I have been absent from steemit for over a week so I am feeling a bit weird today. Show me some support so I don't feel alienated already. Missed you all especially my friends from @ecotrain, @steemitbloggers, @ecotrain and @thesteemengine.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
Here are some of my articles that may interest you:
Why You Need to Live for Yourself too and Not Just for Your Kids
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Why We Must Take One Goal at a Time?
10 Things I wish I knew Challenge
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What's the Best Thing a Child Has Taught You??
I Don't Have a Perfect Child and That's Just So Beautiful...
Every Once in a While, it is Okay to Slow Down a Little...
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Something to Think About- Issue #4: A Selection of Amazing and Enjoyable Curated Posts
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Why I am Grateful for My Hardships...
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My Scar Stories- Reminders of Many Different Memories
I am a part of the wonderful @ecotrain that aims to make this world a better place so do join it if that's your aim too..
Join us @steemitbloggers Animation By @zord189
Thank you for the reminders!
But my 4 yo still doesn't listen to me when I say no to him 😅
❤️,
Hahahaha this has to be the cutest comment of all. My 4 year old does that at times too and then I have to pretend I am sad and he agrees haha
Yup! I've learnt that over the years too - that it is ok to say no. Saying no to other people, is saying yes to love yourself. :)
Yes, yes. You put it so nicely!
Welcome back Sharoon, We've missed you xx I know what that is like, I felt like it was expected of me to always help others and would put their needs in front of my own. As a result I would get burned out and ultimately feel let down if they did't do the same for me sometimes, what high expectations we sometimes put on ourselves and others. Feeling like we have to be all giving in order to be accepted and liked. I definitely let that go as I go older, but it was tough, I really do not like to let other people down. Learning to Say No is so important for self care and also it is so important for our children to see us say it too.
I missed being here more too and your poems were on my mind even though I wasn't here. Want to hug you.
Saying no is hard for some people, especially for those who aim to please everybody. I think that learning to say no is one of the most important things we have to learn how to do and when we master it, we have, in a way, mastered one big part of life. Thank you for a wonderful read 💚
Yes, it is so so important and I have trouble saying no to people even now as well but I am working on it. Thank you so much for liking it. Means so much to me.
People seem to have an inability in modern society to turn down an 'opportunity' or say no. I think a lot of the over work and stress relates to this. Saying 'no' to a lesser opportunity opens doors to other opportunities which have a better fit with who we are as a person. Let alone saying yes to something out of obligation which only has negative connotations from the outset. Interesting post.
Very well put! Thank you for the lovely comment.
Yea this is so true. You can't always say yes. As a human, you sometimes need to say no.
Nice post.
Thank you so much for stopping by and for liking it. :)
What makes life interesting is saying No as much as you say Yes so that you can be strong to say Yes to many more people in the future.
I used to have a problem saying no. And I began to learn that it was too often getting me into situations I was not prepared to handle or put me in further financial binds. I have learned in recent years to say no, although I usually feel bad. I feel especially bad when I think about how many times people have helped me out in life. Still, sometimes you have to face the facts that you can't help everyone all the time. Thanks for a good post. Keep it up!
We both share thesame experience. I use to feel really bad saying No to people and sometimes i felt i was super man and had soo much compassion to help everyone but i realized, i went into deep reflection and realized the best way to help everyone is to say No to some people and be strong for other people.
Don't bend to the tyranny of the "urgent", focus on the "important" and things fall into place quite nicely.
Namaste, Jaichai
Lovely! Thank you for this.