Open Mic Night Wk # 18 Entry: Your Dreams (Original Song)

in #openmic8 years ago (edited)

Here is my second Story Rap entry in a row, enjoy the musical ride and let me know what you guys think. Best of luck to everyone else's entries. PS: Please excuse some parts, I am still recovering from a virus so my singing isn't at full capacity but that can't stop me from performing.

Full Song Lyrics and Due Credits provided below.


Song's Due Credits


Beat Prod. by Verbal D


Intro Written, Created & Performed by Verbal D


Verses 1 & 2 Written, Created & Performed by Verbal D


Transitions 1 & 2 Written, Created & Performed by Verbal D


Skit Written, Created & Performed by Verbal D


Outro Chorus Written, Created & Performed by Verbal D


Full Song Lyrics

Intro:
Hey, oh...yeah
I just wanna have some fun
With this music thing I love to do…oh

Verbal D
Verse 1:
There was this kid who couldn’t freestyle
Tried to tell him otherwise, he was completely in denial
He had a couple fans at his job, working with the senile
Those were the ones who couldn’t hear or see now

They fed his ego, he fed them with a spoon
He pushed them in their wheelchairs and walked up them to their rooms
He went down to clean the kitchen, started rapping to the broom
He slipped up on some liquid, something happened to the dude

His head got busted, the blood was crusting
He smashed his head against the oven door that was rusted, oh!
For two hours he laid there
News reporters on the scene reporting from Bay Fair

Ambulance arrived, the medics were concerned
They rushed him to the hospital, hoping he would return
It was surgery time so the doctor put the gloves on
But then he noticed something wrong...

Verbal D
Transition 1:
Doctor:
"What happened to this child?
This is going to take a while
I’mma have to make some phone calls
I can’t even take his clothes off
His skin is melting off the bone
And I’m just getting off the phone
I think we’re dealing with a crime scene
And now a killer is hiding
Somewhere out there…"

Verbal D
Skit:
Skeptic Person: "Man…everybody tripping off this cat, but he was hella trash at rapping anyway. The game don't need him."
Rational Reasoner: "Man, how can you say that? He was part of our community. He was working at an elderly home, helping our people. You gon' tell me someone killed him over that?"
Skeptic Person: "I don't know…"

Verbal D
Verse 2:
There were, investigators everywhere
No one told the truth, so there were instigators everywhere
People pointing fingers at each other, some were working undercover
Tryna find the murderer about to kill another

Detectives in the kitchen found a weapon they discovered
A bag of purple pills by the window sill shutters
They tested the substance, here’s what the results said
It had acidic properties to turn the body raw red

A couple of day, to preserve remains
Couldn’t have an open casket, they’d be showing the brains
The skin leftover, barely existed
Globs of bloody pulp he called his face was an under-description

People nauseated tryna hold their stomachs
While the family and the cops tried to figure out who would have done it
And all the while, a killer in hideout
'Til someone at the funeral had started to cry out...

Verbal D
Transition 2:
Murderer:
"I did it, I did it,
Put the pills in his drink
From the bag that I’d hidden, I admit it!"

"He was a terrible rapper
Didn’t do it justice and was fitted for laughter
I couldn’t take anymore
Had to listen to his voice and furthermore"

"His rhymes were so cliché
So he had to go away… yes…he did"

Verbal D
Outro Chorus:
Don’t suck at what you do!
You can only improve
You probably shouldn’t choose!
If you know you’re gonna lose
'Cause people are out there!
And they don’t care
Who don’t want you to share!
And it ain’t fair
Your Dreams!… (x2)

Song Lyrics Copyrighted by Verbal D




Thank you for reading and listening to this post in its entirety.

If you missed my other previous Melodious Music Memoirs, including Open Mic Contest Wk Entries, Please click on the provided links below:

Melodious Music Memoirs # 1: Change The World
Melodious Music Memoirs # 2: Impact
Melodious Music Memoirs # 3: My Mother
THE STEEMIT SONG
Melodious Music Memoirs # 4: Statements
Melodious Music Memoirs # 5: Love, Passion, Passion, Love
Melodious Music Memoirs # 6: Nothing But Bliss - Open Mic Night Contest Wk 2 Entry
Melodious Music Memoirs # 7: The Bitcoin Song - Open Mic Night Contest Wk 3 Entry
Melodious Music Memoirs # 8: Vacay - Open Mic Night Contest Wk 4 Entry
Open Mic Night Wk 5 Entry: Grim Is Out Stretching Death Fields
Melodious Music Memoirs # 9: When Darkness Falls
Open Mic Night Wk 6 Entry: Amnesia
Open Mic Night Wk 7 Entry: Last Day
Open Mic Night Wk 8 Entry: Spaceman Jones
Open Mic Night Wk 9 Entry: Somehow
Melodious Music Memoirs # 10: Structural Adaptation Acoustic and Oriental Versions
Melodious Music Memoirs # 11: All Dogs Go To Heaven - R.I.P. Bear
Melodious Music Memoirs # 12: Epic Arena
Melodious Music Memoirs # 13: Fast Lane
Open Mic Night Wk 10 Entry: End Of My Season
Melodious Music Memoirs # 14: Industrial Flames All Fired Up
Open Mic Night Wk 11 Entry: Get With The BlockChain
Melodious Music Memoirs # 15: Shattered Rainbows, Broken Skies
Melodious Music Memoirs # 16: Whip
THE BIGFOOT SONG
Melodious Music Memoirs # 17: Romance & Bliss
Open Mic Night Wk 12 Entry: Crime Lord
Melodious Music Memoirs # 18: Do You See What Chia Seeds?
Open Mic Night Wk 13 Entry: Dad, I Believe That's Love
Open Mic Night Wk 14 Entry: Barz
Melodious Music Memoirs # 19: Recuperation, Rejuvenation
Melodious Music Memoirs # 20: Wisdom Of The Ancients
Open Mic Night Wk 15 Entry: M.A.S.H. Theme
Open Mic Night Wk 16 Entry: Lass Gehn, Let's Go!
Melodious Music Memoirs # 21: It's Hard To Trust But To Love… I Must
Open Mic Night Wk 17 Entry: What Could Go Wrong?
Melodious Music Memoirs # 22: Summer Gladness
Melodious Music Memoirs # 23: The Marvellous Matriarch
Melodious Music Memoirs # 24: The Cool Cats On Steemit
@Soundlegion's SuperNova Steemit Producer Challenge Entry


I'll still be continuing accepting donations until I can reach my goal to fly out to america with my children and wife to visit my family as it is very urgent indeed.



I've raised $335 and .41 cents of Steemit Currency in total from both My Posts and Donations from Steemit Community Members this 2017 forward and $00.00 in US Dollar Donations so far towards my goal of $ 6,000.00 (Six Thousand) US Dollars and will keep everyone updated with every new future post that I submit.
This total amount will not only include donations I've received to the Paypal account I've provided: [email protected], but it will also include the Steemit Currency that I accrue/receive from all of my personal posts starting the 1st of January of 2017 forward calculated after a 48 hour time frame is finished for the payout cycle of each post to avoid miscalculating the fluctuating price of Steemit Currency.



For more information on that, please check my New Year's/Happy Bday Post

Thanks sincerely again in advance for all your help, anything and everything helps.


A SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL GENEROUS AND GIVING DONORS HERE FROM THE STEEMIT COMMUNITY!
@scammymcspambot, @prufarchy, @trevor.george, @dreemit, @inphiknit, @hopehuggs


All Gifs used from Giphy.com

Next Post coming tomorrow

My very own wonderful gif logo provided to me by the generous and kindhearted @papa-pepper Thanks again very much!

Sort:  


Very nice Brother!

Thank you very much bro, appreciate the gif of love

You are a good rapper. You should have a recording contract by now. Any prospect?

Thank you very much for your kind words and thoughtfulness, the music industry is very corrupt.

I am my own artist and I love having control over my music, independency is the way to go in my opinion. Cut out the middle man.

Thank you very much for the resteem, much appreciated for your support.

Very smooth. I couldn't tell you were sick. Great singing and the story was pretty crazy. Was it based off something real?

Thank you very much bro, I definitely felt the sickness creeping in the back of my agitated throat. I had to re-record this a few times, and towards the confession of the murderer part, I felt my singing was a bit weak cause of the breathing through my throat made me wanna cough the whole time, but it was the best take I could make at the time so I left it as is. I must have done a good job at masking my illness lol Appreciate your feedback and there is some influence that led to this fictional story. The murder is definitely made up, but the story built around it is real.

Followed and upvoted. Glad to see hip hop hitting steemit. I think this platform is gonna do big things for mixtape and song releases.

Thank you very much for the up vote, follow and support. I greatly appreciate new follower/listener I acquire. I have released many songs on this platform and the community support and engagement is fantastic here. More so than Soundcloud and Facebook for sure for me personally.

Oh shhhh! Virus or no, this story rap is mad infectious, bro! Damn.. I knew you had that skill to make my head bob, but this took it to a whole other level. First of all, you mixed hip hop with fiction, so you already have my upvote there. But then, you interspersed the rap with the flowy smooth singing. Dude.. You're so multi-talented, it sometimes seems unfair :D

Dissecting the story, it's so fully-fleshed, it could stand alone even without the rap. The beat you used was so funky, it jived well with what you're trying to do. If I could just loan some STEEM Power to give you, I would in a heartbeat! You deserve all the accolades that would come your way, brother :D

Wow, that's a really really big compliment and such a nice thing to say. I'm very appreciative of your feedback and reaction to this song. I actually made it in the hot desert of Arizona, and it was just one of those days where the heat really kept everyone in the house so I had some down time to create something experimental such as this.

Thank you again for such and amazing response, it is truly humbling and I'm glad you enjoyed this all the way through and all parts individually and combined. I wish you the best of success here as well bro.

The craftsmanship put into this can be heard in every line. This Story Rap thing would undoubtedly be a huge thing, bro. Maybe you could consider making ones that are sort of a recap of already finished stories here on Steemit. I'm excited to hear what a summary of @ezzy's modern epic The Symbiotic Protocol would sound like in Story Rap form. Package that with the audiobook's you're making, and that'll undoubtedly be a great addition!

Haha, we will see what happens in the near future, thanks for the suggestion and great idea, it always comes down to the right beat. Maybe I will find a really hard hitting, technologically infused, electronic/boom bap styled beat that'll allow me to tell such a compelling story based off of @ezzy's masterpiece. That would be cool if I did a song summarizing each book that I complete for the Steemit Author Audiobooks and make a compilation for that as well!

Yeah, I think so too! Definitely a challenge, but I'm sure you, of all people, are up to the task.

Thanks for your confidence, we will see what the future brings :)

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