Why You Must Ask Yourself the Right Questions...
What is the thought that runs in your head whenever you encounter an obstacle or find a task too daunting to work on? You are likely to think: 'Can I do this?' or 'I don't think I can do it' right? Let's just go through the consequences of these thoughts.
When you ask yourself if you are capable of doing something, you question your competency. Can I do this makes your mind come up with the different scenarios in the past that highlight your shortcomings and failures and prove you that you are quite incapable of working on the task at hand. Similarly, when you ask yourself if you have the capability to address a certain problem or a task, you again encourage your mind to think of all the experiences where you were unable to do so.
This happens because your mind is designed to answer you according to a question so if you ask yourself 'Can I do this?', it is likely to bring up memories pertinent to situations when you couldn't do something. This happens more when you have a low self-esteem. And when you tell yourself that you are terrible at something or a lost cause, you again trigger yourself to think of all the times you didn't get the desired results.
So a major reason why you keep giving in to problems and your shortcomings isn't because you lack potential, but because you talk the wrong way to yourself and ask yourself the wrong sort of questions. Instead of asking yourself 'Can I do this?', you should ask yourself 'How can I overcome this problem or How can I achieve the desired result?' Ask yourself this repeatedly and in a few minutes, you will think of different ways to address the problem. When you ask yourself 'How can I be a winner?', you encourage yourself to think positively. This makes you think of possibilities and that's the way to think outside the box and come up with a fix to your problem. When you know that your mind answers you just the way you question yourself, why don't you ask yourself the right questions?
Basically, we have built the habit to think in a more negative manner and breaking the chains of habits especially bad ones isn't easy, but it is doable. Start being conscious of your thoughts and the minute you see yourself asking the wrong questions or suggesting unhealthy ideas, rephrase them positively and ask yourself that question frequently. Do it consciously a few times and soon you will ask yourself good, meaningful questions and move in the right direction. Today, I ask you to ask yourself a positive question anytime in the day when you feel you cannot do something and see how it works for you.
Also do share your views on the piece please.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
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A good hint, my dear! I absolutly agree with you vision, it is not something wrong with us, it is the question we ask ourself are wrong! I had so many experiences with it in my life yet still fall in the same trap sometimes%) Thank you for the reminder to ask myself the right questions all the time. And if I don't there is always you to remind! Love you and so happy to share this journey on #ecoTrain with you, my love!
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Very true. In India I spent time with a teacher who called it SDHD - Self Doubt, Self Hatred, Self Denial. Self Doubt: Can I do this? Self Hatred: I can't do this. Self Denial: this is not for me. He said it was the worst disease human beings are suffering from. Definitely, being sharp on what goes through your mind and having awareness of the thoughts and questions you are giving yourself is very important!!
Great comment! Your teacher was very right. These are huge issues which in turn give birth to even bigger issues.
Very true. There are so many times when you question your abilities because you're scared that you will fail at the task at hand. I think it's important to remind yourself of all the things you have already achieved and how far you've come. I bet everyone has had to overcome obstacles. But you're still here, so hang in there ;) Thanks for the reminder
The Imposter Syndrome - the believe that we're not good enough. Sometimes parents and society are to be blamed for the life long suppression - to be made into thinking we're not good enough.
The truth is, we're better than we know.
Oh wow, another great term once again. Thank you!
Great one. Rather than thinking whether I can do it or not. Why not start straight into how to do it.
Yes, how can I do it works wonders. Thanks for the appreciation :)
While teaching German as a foreign language I learned that questions like "Can I do that?" are called closed questions, because basically the answer is yes or no (maybe maybe too though 😉). Questions starting with a question word like how, where, what etc. are called open questions because the answer is open, not limited.
So open questions lead to open-minded answers, they are more process oriented, whereas closed questions are more result orientated. So if somebody answers "Can I do that?" with no, they are anticipating the result without engaging in the process necessary to reach the result.
The appropriate answer would be "I don´t know, but I will try."
thumbs up Whatever you said is extremely true. Tried and tested.
This is a good lesson for all, if you position yourself wrongly by asking wrong questions you will remain behind life. Dont limit yourself, go, go and keep going.
Good one
This is why the best way forward is to train our mind to become exceptional at handling situations. It wouldn't be an easy feat... but it would be achievable.
This is a fantastic reframe for positive thinking!
Thank you so much Shawna! Your appreciation always makes me smile. <3
When we allow the negative thoughts to overcome and control our actions, it is often called a self-defeating prophesy. We think the worst will happen, and then we make sure it does.
On the other hand, turn the thoughts (But more importantly actions) around and you have a self-realizing prophesy. Thanks for the good read. :)
I agree with that. :)