ULOG: An Investigation into DISAPOINTMENT - Part 1
The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
- "to her disappointment, there was no chance to talk privately with Luke"
synonyms: sadness, regret, dismay, sorrow; dispiritedness, despondency, distress, chagrin;
disenchantment, disillusionment; displeasure, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement
"his disappointment in the outcome was obvious"
a person, event, or thing that causes disappointment.
In stopping to take a closer look at "Disapointment", it becomes quite obvious to me that "Disapointment" always involves some sort of "DISS" like this kind of form of "dissing" and possibly, "DISMISSAL" and or, "DISGUST, and or, "DISMAL" and or, "DISGRACE"...."DISASTER"......"DISTANCE"...."DISARAY"...."DISSATISFACTION"..."DISAPPROVAL"
THE "DISS" of the "DIS" in front of the word is like the "Missing Point".
For me - I can see that Disapointment has been somewhat of a suppression for me - in that in many instances I would keep my disapointment and dissatisfaction to myself and would really in a way hide my own disgust, disapointment, and dissatisfaction. I would hide it not very well necessairly - what this revealed to me is that I would create, "COMPROMISE" and "DISTRACTION" as a way to "COMPENSATE" with my "DISAPOINTMENT".
I realized for me - it's like I resisted the conflict of sharing my disapointment and or disgust and or dissatisfaction - For me I found this to be a real "BOTHER".
This is significant for me because I realized I created a bit of a cyclical loop with "BOTHER" where I in various ways indulged, and entertained my "BOTHER" and overall "DISSATISFACTION" and "DISAPPOINTMENT"- And without really realizing it, I've fed my own discomfort by keeping it to myself mostly and would even hide it from others...which to me revealed a part of me that i was hiding from myself!
I didn't realize that I allowed myself to be soooo "BURDENED" by my "BOTHER" and "DISAPOINTMENT" that I would 'hold on to it" instead of, 'forgiving and forgetting - creating the change i want to live and become'.
It's fascinating the things we will hold onto to our own detriment. For me - there became a real fixation on wanting to leanr and no more about my disapointment and bother - within exploring my curiosity - i realized that I was initially quite shocked and awed at the extent of disapointment and bother existent within myself.
I realized that I have mostly glossed over articulating the most uncomfortable aspects of myself. I've always been rather sensitive to my discomforts and within that...having like this shame within me for the discofmorts of my emotions....where it's like a panic and uncertainty arises in a very subtle way....and due to the vulnerability and uncertainty experienced within the moment of "disapointment"/"bother"/"Dissatisfaction"
Nor did i realize that much of my emotion has been projected outward onto others in my reality in the form of judgements and opinions based up my emotional state.
I forgive myself for acccepting and allowing myself to suppress disapointment within myself and to not realize and understand how consequential it is to suppress dispointment as it doesn't really go away, it just brews up beneath the surface as an inferior memory holding pattern.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really considering the extent to which our emotional memories crystalize within us and influence our future directions.
I forgive myself for not really thinking of it as a big deal or an issue of any kind to just "shut up" about my disapoints...and that in general it is something to just hide and or keep quiet about.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take personally the disapoint of others in my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to express disapointment.
I realize disapointment isn't good or bad, it simply is what it is and it's a word that can be quite useful in communicating various experiences and challenges and that within disapointment that can be learning and lessons learned and possible resolutions as new solutions made manifest as as a result of any and all dsapointments being expressed.
When and as I see myself wanting to hide and or cover up my disapointment - I stop and breathe - I embrace my disapointment and I let it go - I realize that I do not require to hold onto any particular state in order for me to be here and participating as my best.
I commit myself to expanding my awareness on disapointment and to go through my emotional memories and release everything that i've been holding onto. I realize "letting go" is a process".
To Be Contunued
Cheers and Best Regards
Cheers to exercising the living of our Best Life - Responsibility and Freedom - The Keys to our Best Independence and Interdepence.
Make it easy to do things daily that help systematize a structure that helps plans formulate and come together over time.
It's a Plant World. Plant it.
Previous Post in this Series of "Word(s) of the Day"
Decentralized Media Broadcasting is the Future - Sharing Because You Want to
- What I like about this social experiment, is the fact that it's success is directly dependent on ordinary people everywhere - where there's a willingness to say,
"Yes - I accept a weekly payment for being a human being to cover my basic costs of Existing Here."