Small closures bring new beginnings | Lola's Story Part 19 | 5 Minute Freewrite ~ Prompt: Check out the story to find out!
Today's Prompt!
Lola closed the front door behind Bryon, and turned to head to her bedroom. Gloria appeared at the edge of the kitchen startling Lola out of her thoughts.
“So, you’re headed out?” she asked.
“I guess I am,” Lola said with a half smile.
“I think this is good.“ Gloria said nodding. “He’s always seemed like a good kid, he was Kyle’s friend and everything. Probably no better person to spend some time with. It might be good for both of you.” Gloria paused. “And…about what we were talking about…” her eyes glistened staring straight into Lola’s.
“I left them on the table,” Lola said. “Maybe you could hold on to them for me.”
Gloria smiled, wiped her eyes, and drew Lola into a firm hug.
“Thank you,” she whispered into her mop of curls. She pulled back and glanced down at Lola’s right hand. “What do you think is in the there?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Bryon didn’t know either.”
“Are you going to open it?” Gloria asked a tinge of excitement in her voice.
“Uh, yeah, maybe in a minute.” she turned it over. “ Lola” was printed clearly on the front in a sloppy print she didn’t recognize.
Lola stepped into her bedroom, set down the envelope on the dresser, and stared at it. She wasn’t sure what could have come form the department, but she knew she didn’t want to deal with any technical forms. She glanced up at the mirror. Her skin was pale, her freckles faded. Her hair needed to be washed, and her current shirt had a jelly stain right on her protruding belly.
“Well,” she said to herself. “It could be worse. I could be missing teeth too.”
She rummaged through a stack of maternity clothes resting on a chair beside her bed. Her mom had been adding a few new pieces every week, and the mound was beginning to lean.
She finally picked a plan purple t-shirt with rippled stitching on the side, pulled off the tag then slid it over her head. It was a little too big still, but the shade looked nice against her skin. She pulled her messy curls into a ponytail, then headed to the bathroom to splash her face with cold water.
“Hey Lola,” Tommy said sticking his head out his bedroom door, music permeating into the hallway.
“What’s up?” Lola asked, but something caught her attention on Tom’s computer desk. “What’s that?” she said walking past him into his den.
“Oh, uh…that’s just a picture I found…”
A girl stared bored in the distance with three eyes. Her only clothing looked like blotches of ink stretched from her chest to her collar bones, her elbow resting on one of Saturn’s rings. The earth drawn in the distance eclipsing the sun.
“Please don’t tell Mom.” Tommy said shoulder’s slumped.
Lola snickered. “You don’t think she’d approve of a mostly naked alien?”
He looked at the ground and rolled a bouncy ball with the tip of his toe.
“You drew this, didn’t you?” Lola asked astonished.
He peeked up to meet her eyes.
“Wow, Tom, it’s incredible, but I promise I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you,” he mumbled. Lola began to walk away, but he touched her arm. “Hey,” he found his voice again. “Is it true…what Mom found? She didn’t want me to know…but, well, she was so loud when she called Dad…and crying…and well, I couldn’t not hear…but…”
Lola pulled her little brother into a hug.
“No, I don’t think I could…I thought about it though. I mean…who am I to be a mom?” she said.
“But God made her yours.” Tommy said tears coming to his eyes. “No one else would work.”
Thank you so much for reading! I would like to give a special shout out to @byn's daughter @loliboofae for creating such an amazing picture for a prompt! Originally, I didn't even think of Tommy drawing it...or that it even fits for a 13 year old...but the best part of a freewrite is that it takes you on a special journey everytime! Now he's an artist as well as a future movie director!
If you would like to start from the beginning to see a fuller picture, I've linked all the parts below! And thank you to all my readers! @freedompoint, @cecicastor, @dreemsteem, @bennettitalia, @thefarmerswife, @thegreatdayne, @scribblingramma, @whatisnew, @quirky.countess, @angelacs, @canadianrenegade, and @enginewitty!
If you would like to be added to the list (or taken off) please let me know in the comment!
"You have to make the prompts work for you." ~@borrowedearth
I'm not crying, you're crying.
My obsessive checking in finally paid off. I haven't written many stories myself but I am in awe that you are able to keep this story flowing so smoothly from these prompts.
Great writing. It's probably good this isn't a full book, but I am sad I can't turn the page and read some more. I would probably get nothing else done. 😅 -Aimee
Haha I love your whole comment! Thank you!!
I was struggling there for a minute at the beginning waiting on the perfect prompts, but @borrowedearth told me that I needed to make the prompts work for me. It was wonderful advice! So, now I let the prompts mold the story more.
The story is developing beautifully. Do you feel like the challenging prompts are forcing you to evolve as a writer? -Aimee
Thank you very much. I would say yes in the sense that it's teaching me how to write without regret. The idea is to set a timer and write whatever pops out first. I started like this, and it allowed me to write unapologetically and without expectations. So, as I got more comfortable, I realized that this is really where the magic happens. I think our brains naturally tell a story, and I think when we become too logical and too structured it can hurt the creativity. Now, with this story, I don't set a timer so that I can really bring whatever is happening to Lola into fruition, but I still allow the prompt to weave a story and take it places. Also as the characters develop, they help to write it. I feel like I'm getting to know them better. For instance Gloria is a strong woman who struggles watching her daughter struggle...when she hugs it's a firm hug, when she makes a decision she doesn't waiver...but she's not controlling. Tommy has given me the most surprises. I think this is because he's at this precipice of turning into a teenager... but he still has the innocence and clarity of child.
What I've enjoyed most about this entire process is that I never knew how to write like this before. I was too structured and rigid. Sure, grammar is important, but it can come later...it doesn't have to be perfect right at first, and I think that's where I was always held up.
That's amazing. I love that you found a way to write without regret. I find that sometimes I will read an article 2 or 3 times even after its posted and dwell on how I could have phrased something better. When I am entering a challenge and I am down to the wire I tend to clam up but I have still let those articles get posted because it's a learning experience.
I love reading character development. It's one of the reasons why I have a hard time watching movies of books that I have read. There is never enough time to watch the characters develop or the relationships unfold the way they do in a book. I used to love getting lost in stories, feeling what characters felt, watching them make decisions, and overcoming adversity. I think that's partly why I am so hooked on this story. I really enjoy seeing the storyline unfold and each piece is a manageble length for me to devour and get back to my responsibilities.
You're right, Tommy is at a beautiful stage of crossing over from child to teenager. I can feel his desire to be mature while still having childlike tendancies. -Aimee
I totally hear you about clamming up. I've been writing a story for the past 7 years...and I feel like I over analyze it so badly and then I'm trapped! I think that's one of the reason this story is working so well is because I write it in short bursts and the story is commited after I hit post! haha I've really surprised myself by how confidently I've done that. Maybe it's because this platform is so supportive!
I love watching a character grow too as well! It's also one of my favorite parts of a book, and really makes it a page turner!
Thank you again for all your support with this...it makes me want to write every day!
Wow! Seven years? That's incredible. Now you have me wondering even more. Will this story ever grace the Steemit space? -Aimee
Ps. If you wrote about Lola every day, you wouldn't hear any complaints from this corner of Steemit.
I hope it does! Maybe instead of it being a novel in print, I can make it a Steemit novel!
Haha I will keep that in mind for the times I feel like I'm writing too much! I'll know I have atleast one person excited to read it!
Wow...I can only imagine what I want to happen...Lola is real to me now.
Wow! Thank you! ❤
Also, I'm so sorry...I tagged you as a reader without asking first, but I had meant to before I published it the first time and forgot! If you'd like me to take you off, no worries, just say the word!
Are all of these based on #freewrite prompts? Now I want to read the whole thing. Very nice!
I'm here to forward you the latest post in the Five-Minute Freewrite: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-189-5-minute-freewrite-thursday-prompt-cane
FREEWRITE HOUSE!
Click the graphic to join in the fun!
They sure are! I haven't used every prompt, but I'd love to! If you'd like...I can add you to the list of readers, so you're notified when the next part comes out!
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day and delivering prompts! Perhaps, if you wrote a freewrite today, I will deliver to you tomorrow! Hope you're having a great day!
Yes, add me to your list. And yes, I did add a #freewrite today: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@wordymouth/a-walking-cane-sits-in-the-corner
Awesome! I will read it!
Go Tommy! That was awesome :)
Ahhh! I'm glad you liked it! I really like Tommy.
Out of the mouths of babes!
That is a very wise observation!
He does have a bit of wisdom hiding inside! He's probably one of my favorite characters!