Day 106 - Five minute freewrite - Prompt - The smell from within - Broken part 2- A continuation of Lola's story
Lola reluctantly pryed her sleeping face away from the couch cushion, to stop the incessant vibrations of her cell phone. She weighed the option of throwing it across the room, but decided against it. If her phone went straight to voicemail too many times they would come.
The screen glowed, showing four missed calls, ten text messeges and two voicemails. They could wait, they all could wait.
She tried to steady herself as she pressed herself into a sitting position, but a waive of nausea swept over her frail body. Refusing to give in, she brushed her golden ringlets away from her sweaty face, and willed herself to the kitchen where only a stale box of crackers waited on her.
With shakey hands, she unwrapped the opened package, breaking the only whole crackers left, then dumped them all on the counter. She gathered a handful and shoveled them into her mouth.
Without bothering to look, she reached to the windowsill where the empty cigerette carton laid, and she inhaled deeply the smell from within, then replaced the box gently. She knew, as much as she knew she would have to face her day, that she would need it again.
Then she heaved violently into the trash can.
This is a continuation of my freewrite Broken
At first, I was hesistant to write more of the same character because I suddenly felt pressure to make it a certain way. But then I decided to let the freewrite flow just like the first time! I have an idea, but it's just as much a surprise to me as it is to you! I had not originally thought to include other prompts, but it just popped out! Maybe it was because I just read @byn do that yesterday! Well, thanks for stopping by!!
If you would like to get started visit @mariannewest!
Sincerely,
Stacie D
Love that you continued and got all these prompts in. It seems to happen to me more and more too - the prompts just pop up. I think we get trained like little puppies lol
Haha I think you're right! And they ended up being the prompts I missed!
Thanks for reading!
I dig it! It read beautifully. It grabbed my attention. Going to read the previous one... ;)
Thank you very much! I'm glad it grabbed your attention! Let me know what you think of the first one!
I love it when a character sticks with me and wants more of their story told! I've had this happen a few times myself... as a matter of fact, I did it with my weekendfreewrite today!
You have a great mood/visual writing style going here. I like it!
Thank you! I have more of an idea of the direction the story can go...so I'm curious what the upcoming prompts will be and if it will work!
I know what you mean about the pressure to make it a certain way. That's why the 3-prompt freewrites are a great challenge. The second and third prompts are a surprise. Whatever you were initially writing usually changes when you see the second prompt. 😉 And I have the honor of bringing you the 3-prompt challenge:
For the first prompt of the multiple-prompt Weekend Freewrite, click Here!
Or, if you'd prefer to do a single prompt, click Here!
Great! Thanks so much!
This is very descriptive of Lola's feelings, and you did it with mastery and details.. the only thing is that I remain suspended and a bit unsatisfied due to the fact that I cannot understand much about the underlying trauma or story.. it's like a magnifying glass that does its job very well but doesn't allow you to understand the whole picture.. I donnow if it makes sense ..I liked you writing style a lot, that's why I'm trying to be more detailed :-)))
I understand just what you are saying! Thank you, that was really great, constructive feedback!
Originally, I thought if I wrote more of her story I'd add why she is in such misery because I also don't like that kind of suspense. It can make you feel on the outside of the story for too long. But I think I got wrapped up in the 5 minutes...if that makes sense. And I hear you...if I add a part three, I'll make sure the readers have the proper pieces of the puzzle :)
I'm really glad that you understood my constructive intention 😅 One thing that I feel to add is that if you feel keeping writing after the 5 minutes, then do it.. having fun is the main thing and there's nothing better than being taken by the flow of your own creation running out from the pen ☺️
Yes! And we may have spoken about that before!
Watch out freewrites...I'm coming for ya! 😂
So much sick!
I know! But it felt so organic, I just let it happen. I normally like to write happy endings...I'm not sure where this is headed, but I hope there's a happy ending! Lol
Fingers crossed!
Ooof... that is some gritty fiction right there! You really pulled me into the scene. I could feel the invasion of the too-bright daylight in her eyes (even though you didn't describe that, it was implicit I guess lol), taste the dry cracker crumbs, smell the ciggies... and the vomit. Damn. No idea where this is going yet, but I'm hooked.
so descriptive my friend!!!! :) @tipu send tip please :)
Thank you!
Hi @freedomtowrite! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @dreemsteem!
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