Are women who dress provocatively responsible for unwanted attention?

in #ecotrain4 years ago

I have again been a little absent, my last post was 5 days ago but I managed to return without much delay. Since I was a little short of ideas and brainstorming seemed so exhausting at the moment, I decided to go to my favorite place for ideas- @ecotrain. There I found the latest question of the week (QOTW) that the passengers had answered and I decided to do it too. So the question is:

Are women who dress provocatively responsible for unwanted attention or should men learn to control themselves?

This is one question that keeps doing the rounds on social media and usual conversations quite often here in the society I live in. And the religious extremists often end it by saying that if a women does dress up provocatively, the consequences that follow afterwards are her responsibility. So whether she is raped or assaulted, it is on her. While often people blame Islam for being such an extremist religion, the truth is far from that. Even in Islam, it is not on the woman or how she dresses the results that follow afterwards. Our religion advises both men and women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; it is not just a woman's job to do that.

Keeping religion aside, I strongly believe that the way a women dresses up doesn't have much to do with the attention she gets. I see women burqa cladded women (burqa is a piece of clothing that is like a long flowing dress and covers you completely) getting undue attention from the men around her. I have even seen men not staring at girls dressed skimpily so honestly men can control themselves and women are in no way to be blamed for receiving unwanted attention.


Even a study proves that the way a woman dresses up is no longer a determinant of whether or not she will be raped. Rape victims have been those dressed in long skirts, pants and clothes that in no way make you appear attractive or sexy. So why is it then the way a woman dresses up is still considered a huge factor in her garnering unwanted attention? Why is that she is blamed for the attention she receives and for unfortunate consequences that follow through? Honestly, I think because men and the patriarchal society we live in find women an easy target to blame. Since they are right and can never be wrong, they must find someone else to throw the blame on and who is better for that than shameless women right? This is quite a common behavior prevalent in most societies: when you don't know who to hold accountable for an issue because you cannot accept your responsibility, find someone you consider weak and raise all eyes at him/ her! That's the right way to go about it and that's why women and their sense of dressing is the reason for all the societal issues that they experience.

What are your views on this one?

Love and light,


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Hello again Sharoon!

It is an interesting question, and I must say that a man's actions are a man's responsibility. And I was thinking of a different answer until you mentioned rape and assault, it is hard to believe but my mind does not even imagine such horrible things, perhaps I am guilty of 'looking on the bright side' and ignoring some of the harsher realities of our world

I do think that being modest (for both men and women) is more responsible and attractive. That does not excuse any behavior by other parties.

But when we talk about unwanted attention, I imagine flirting. Men and women flirt and talk to each other in certain circumstances. When people are single, they look for a partner through these techniques in certain cultures. And what we wear and how we act, our dress and body language, are the first line of communication to the opposite sex. If a man is interesting in finding a partner, he might use dress as an indicator of which women or when to talk to certain women.

In this case I think that if a woman is going to dress a certain way, she may get more men talking to her. There are cultures where women wear their hair a certain way before they are married, and a different way after they are married. What we wear does send a message, and we must be aware of that.

Assault, rape etc are NEVER appropriate. Attention to me does not have to be violent, it could be an invitation to coffee or another type of activity. I am married, so maybe I am out of the loop.

Good to stop in and chat! May God Bless you and your family Sharoon!

Heyy can't tell you how happy your comment made me for 2 reasons mainly. First, cos it's good to see you on my blog and it has been quite long since we talked and you always make me happy. Second, I loved the aspect you brought out in your comment. The way you have put it and elaborated, it does make sense and I agree with you. Funny how when I saw this question, my mind instantly went to rape and assault and not the aspect you highlighted and yours went to something else. This really proves how our environment and the things we are recently exposed to make us think.

This is so true, our environment is a very powerful driver for how our brain reacts to ideas. I think the most important lesson is that we respect one another, men to women and women to men.

I was happy to see your post again too! I have been engaging in a league of commenter recently, apparently the problem with user retention has lead certain groups to reward the best commenter on the site, and so I have been working on becoming one of those top commenters. And can you believe it I saw this post in the @c-squared feed! I use their feed because that way I get to a lot of different users, many who I would never see otherwise.

And I was pleasantly surprised to find a friend :)

Hey, I have heard papa-pepper making noises about maybe another round of the selfie contest. Would you consider joining again? Maybe he will start it about the same time as last year, but I'm not sure, I have no inside information. He just said several times to keep our eyes open.

Hi @sharoonyasir. CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I!
You probably should not click on the link(Stated that your content has been copied. I clicked on it, yes, part of your content was up but I realised the link wasn't a steemit link though disguised as such. I don't know how these things work, so can't say if my account has now been compromised.

I was going to comment on your post.

This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:

Signs point to yes

Hi! I'm a bot, and this answer was posted automatically. Check this post out for more information.

Hello bot, sorry to say but in this case your answer is pretty sexist and inconsiderate. Maybe that's why you have a 3 rep.

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