Is Life Actually Tough or Do We Make it Hard for Ourselves?

in #ecotrain5 years ago

I have always believed that life isn't a bed of roses and straightforward, but from the past few months, this belief has changed drastically. I now think that life isn't as tough as we make it. It is we, our aspirations, desires, demands, wants and needs that make our life tough.

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So we want something but we cannot have it and we start feeling miserable about it and support a complaining attitude. Our desires keep growing because we keep growing them and then when we cannot have what we want, we feel it is our life that is bad. If we do start to strive for our goals and what we want, we face obstacles and problems because hey, achieving big goals is never easy and then again we feel it is our life that is tough.

Yes, there are some unfortunate incidents and experiences in life that our completely beyond our control. The loss of loved ones, bad accidents, abuse- these things are mostly not in our control and all these occurrences do make our life really tough. However, if we keep them on the side and just focus on ourselves and how we feel about our life, we will realize that it is us who make our life simple or tough, good or bad, beautiful or ugly because hey it is our life and we are the ones controlling it. No matter how much we deny it, the life we have manifested is because of our thoughts, actions, emotions, behavior and decisions and nobody but us are responsible for it.

I honestly did not believe any of that for a long, long time. I always thought that life was hard and I was experiencing hardships because I was meant to endure them. It was only when I became aware of what self-awareness and self-discovery was and then started working on it myself that I realized that whatever that was happening to me was because of my own decisions. If I learned how to survive without an air conditioner, I wouldn't have to pay the hefty electricity bills and when I didn't have to pay them, I would automatically take some burden off my mind and some of my financial responsibilities. Similarly, if I started growing veggies myself, I wouldn't have to worry about using poor quality vegetables or being infected by chemically produced goods.

As I kept digging deeper into who I was, what I wanted and what I believed in and how I was living my life, I kept realizing that it was only me who was making my life hard. I was a huge shopaholic and my need for having my more clothes was seriously affecting my budget and personal finances. I was hardly ever left with any saving because I was always buying more stuff. This along with other realizations helped me make my peace with my life- it wasn't bad, I was making it bad.

So then what did I do? Well, I am still a work in progress and will always be I guess, but I am definitely bringing in changes in myself because that's how I'll make my life simpler. One of those changes is to constantly assess my needs and see if they are actually legit and reasonable and something I really, really want. Honestly, this alone makes things so much simpler because most of the time, a certain wish isn't mine and is something that has rubbed on me from someone else. So when I ask myself if I genuinely want it and get NO as an answer, it is then just the matter of being firm with myself. The firmer I am in a nice way, the easier it becomes for me to distract myself from that desire. This has been working very well for me. What trick works for you and what are your thoughts on the topic?

Love and light,


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We and society put pressure on us to achieve more, acquire more, do more, etc. it can be overwhelming for any of us. I am a minimalist in process and now travel full time. There is nothing in life that is worth sacricing your own emotional, physical and mental peace to fit into some mold.

Be different, be simple and you will find the time to reflect and be at peace.

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I agree, how we view things, the decisions we make that is what effects us the most, we need to take responsibility for how we live our lives, as you said assess where we are at and how we are doing, we are meant to be learning all the time, we are meant to be getting better at living not complicating it by adding more stuff into our lives and not truly listening to ourselves. Great Post, we all need to remember this , thank you beautiful mama xx

Aishlinn, you know how to make me smile and that's just one of the many reasons why I adore you <3 Yes the moment we start being responsible for our life, we start taking better decisions too.

I tried to live a minimalist lifestyle, it help to reduce the burden of my mind, my soul and my wallet... LOL...

Yess it does the same for me :)

Life is filled with the coulda, woulda, shoulda's...

Whatever it is, do it wholeheartedly, do it without guilt, just do it!

Namaste, Jaichai

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Less is more.
More or less.

L Dacey-Laforge.


Words that came to me a while back which are a great mantra for daily living.

With Love.


This post reminds me of Buddhist philosophy--the whole idea that desiring things is at the root of human suffering. I'm no expert on Buddhist philosophy, and I'm probably the last one to ask for anything but a surface level understanding, but you might find some of that stuff interesting.

Yes you are right- it is reminiscent of Buddhist philosophy which is something I believe in. Thank you for the meaningful comment <3

I think there was a saying.. Something like "Life is 1% of what happens to you and 99% of how you react to it".
Of course there are many examples in which you cannot act otherwise than being sad and hurt, but in the end it's up to you.
Thanks for the read :)

What a lovely quote! I completely agree with this. Thanks for stopping by :)

Thank you for the article :)

As I kept digging deeper into who I was, what I wanted and what I believed in and how I was living my life, I kept realizing that it was only me who was making my life hard.

I really hope a lot of people get to understand this fact, it would save them years of mental slavery.

great post lady!! i find this to be so applicable and your words speak right to me.

as far as choosing to make less money (or take away the AC), i find that is such an interesting one. i choose not to have a "full time job" outside of the home and so i live with less than most people. it's so culturally frowned upon to not want "all the things", but seriously they don't make me happy so why would i work to have them? why would i work for someone else all that much in general to gain things that i don't even really want? i feel that is a conundrum of the times. people wanting and acquiring things or thinking they need them because of the popularity or marketing of the item.

even AC really isn't needed- we don't have it. people for generations have survived without it. it really isn't even that good for your system- to go from extreme hot to extreme cold and live in a climate controlled area. i find there's always an alternative or even natural way to find these things we seek.

as far as wanting things we don't have and making ourselves unhappy about it-- this post spoke right to me. it's not even a thing i can buy even, but an experience i can't control that i'm seeking. but i can't control whether it will come to me. i need to sit back and be happy with what i have. thanks for the reminder. <3

The mind is a very fertile place to grow seeds, those seeds it doesn't care if they are the seeds of weeds or beautiful flowers. If you plant seeds in your mind only plant the seeds you want to grow and harvest.

Wonderful writing and advice, and good to hear that you are making changes that will benefit you! Thank you for sharing this with #steemitbloggers 😊

CHEERS!! Good for you! I'm glad you shared's an important message.

I am glad you liked it. :) Thanks a lot.

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