How To Use Steemit To Trick People Into Reading Your Poorly-Written Garbage
I have to say, writing on Steemit is pretty addictive.
Now that I know that all I have to do is drop $50 SBD on a post and a couple extra for resteems to get some exposure, it finally answers the question: how do I get people to read my shit?
I should really balance this out with more crypto articles though. I can't just keep writing all this stupid nonsense and expect it to go anywhere. That's the dream of course, to be able to get paid for the art that you enjoy producing. But only established/famous people can get away with that.
Why Robert DeNiro hasn't made a good movie in 15 years
Speaking of which, I was talking to a friend of mine today about something similar.
First he asked me, "Would you rather be in the best shape of your life or be making $25k/month?"
I told him, "I'd rather have the money, because I can always get in shape. But even if I'm in shape, it's going to be hard to make that much money."
The convo progressed a little and I asked, "Okay, would you rather be rich, famous or extremely good looking? You can only pick two."
He goes, "For sure famous and good looking."
I thought that was odd, because this friend is particularly concerned with money. I asked him, "Not rich?"
He's like, "Nah. If you're famous you'll be rich already."
I go, "What, you can't be famous without being rich?"
He's all, "Nope. Not possible."
That concept stuck in my mind for the rest of the day. It's something I've thought many times, but to hear it reiterated in such a concise way sort of refreshed my memory.
"If you're famous," he went on, "that's when companies just pay you for showing up. Speaking engagements, shit like that."
Then he goes, "You remember that guy David? We went to that house party at his house out in Silverlake. He started a clothing line. Anyway I go to his house and I see like, all these boxes, like packages and shit. Tons of them. I go, 'what's all this?' and he's like, 'oh this is stuff we're sending to celebrities.'
"If you're famous, people just give you shit for free. Look at Casey Neistat, all those videos. He does that 'mail time' thing and gets boxes and boxes of free shit just because he's famous."
The man had a point.
Celebrity is the new royalty
In the business world, this is known as "building your own brand" or "finding your tribe."
Why don't we just call it what it is? The selfish pursuit of fame, glory, and recognition. And not for your "company," but for you as a human being.
At the end of the day we're all just evolved meatbags. So you might as well be the most ripped, lavish meatbag in the cemetery, right?
I forgot how I got onto this topic... oh right, recognition. That shit is addictive.
My last article was the most successful one I've ever had to date in terms of comments and upvotes. And all it cost me was around 55 SBD. Just a bit over $200 USD at the time of this writing.
To me that's absolutely mind blowing to think that I spent the equivalent of $200 just so a bunch of random $0.01 upvote-hunting Pakis (wassup Habibs!) could read some retarded shit that I wrote.
Here I am, lying in a hostel bed in Thailand, wearing the same clothes for a week, stressing over paying $5 for the "good" shawarma...
And I drop $200 to promote a 500 word blog post about literally nothing.
Yeah ok, you can say that I'm doing it to "build my brand" or some other nonsense. But fuck that. I don't care how many whales upvote this - you think I'm going to go out of my way to show this to a potential client? Hell no. They'll be like WTF is wrong with this guy? We're not hiring him.
Let's call it what it really is: I want recognition. I want fame. I want people to read what I'm writing and have a polarized opinion about it.
Well guess what - banging Thai hookers isn't going to make you famous. Unless maybe you write about it.
Show me the attention, Jerry!
I don't even really care about the money though. I just want the attention.
You have no idea how alone you feel sometimes as a writer because nobody will read your stupid novel, poem, book whatever.
Do you know how much I've written in my life? I have stories about me doing insane shit that I wrote just because some day I KNEW that I would find a way to get people to read it.
And it's not just me. Literally EVERY WRITER has this problem. Those of you who put even moderate effort into your posts probably know what I'm talking about. How are you going to get anyone to read what you wrote?
This is an especially huge problem on Steemit because this platform is full of people who want their $0.01 upvotes so they can quit their real jobs and just get paid to shitpost every day. Well I got some bad news for you, Habib, it doesn't work like that.
Here's the point of the article
The only way you're going to get any sort of exposure on this platform without being a hot girl, or even a slightly above-average looking girl, is by buying some fucking upvotes and slowly building up your cred.
Yeah, it's all fake. You guys aren't here because some whale upvoted my post out of the goodness of his heart. You think they take the time to scroll the feed and look for interesting content? Come on. Anyone with that kind of scratch has better things to do than read this shit.
You're here because I spent $250 of my own money to game the system into bringing you here.
You're reading these words NOT because they're the best combination of English words currently on this site, but because I paid for the exposure.
No money no hunny
I wrote about my delusions of grandeur in my last post, but that's not even the half of it. As a writer, I was the equivalent of an attention-starved middle child who gets in trouble all the time just to get his parents' attention.
You think this is "real" and "in touch with myself?" Damn. You should see some of the shit I wrote when I was younger.
Actually, when I started this little Steemit blog, I considered just pasting everything I'd written that I managed to hold onto over here. But after spending some time on the site, I realized that the types of posts that generally do well here are 1) low effort posts by Steemit-circle-jerking retards or 2) pics of semi-hot girls eating a bowl of yogurt.
Sadly I'm neither of those. I'm a special kind of retard. Even my self-deprecating delusions are grandiose!
Ahhh... you know, just the fact that I know people are actually getting the chance to read this warms my heart. I don't even care that I'm about to drop $250 to promote this. I really don't.
Are you kidding me? I make five figures a month as a freelancer and live in a third world country. I have literally nothing better to do than spend my fake internet "money" so random strangers on the web will read my 1300 word essay on... what exactly?
Sorry for the tangent there. What was I talking about? I got sidetracked. I'm just so excited that FINALLY, after all these years, I can finally... alright.. you get the idea.
What do you think about paying for upvotes?
Let me know in a comment!
Check out some of my other posts here:
- How To Use Steemit To Make Yourself Feel More Important Than You Really Are
- Telegram ICO Raises $850,000,000 From 81 Separate Investors And At Least One Russian Billionaire
- How To Make $10k A Month The Old Fashioned Way
- How To Make More Money Than You've Ever Made In Your Life
- Six Low Market Cap Altcoins That Could Maybe Possibly Potentially Rise 10x In Value But I Dunno Though
- Lisk (LSK) Founder Max Kordek Pledges $50,000,000 To Fund High Quality Sidechains Built On The Lisk Platform
- Russian Nuclear Scientist Caught Trying To Mine Bitcoin From Top Secret Supercomputer
- How To Grow Your Personal Instagram Page To 5 Billion Followers
- Watching This Video Will Make You Want To Move To Thailand (And Not For The Hot Estonian Chick, Either)
- Bitgrail Cryptocurrency Exchange Hacked For 17,000,000 Nano (XRB), Claims Insolvency
- After Rejecting Cryptocurrency Entrepreneurs For Fear Of Money Laundering, Rabobank Fined $400 Million For Money Laundering
- In Only 3 Days After Pre-ICO Launch, Crypto Investment Fund Pecunio Has Already Raised Almost $2m
- Shill Of The Day: Why You Should Put Your Daughter's College Fund Into Lucyd's New ICO
- All I Want Is A Billion Dollars, A Rock-Solid Six Pack, And To Smash A Different Hard-Bodied Fitness Model Every Night - Is That Too Much To Ask?
- How To Be Successful In Just 100 Hours A Week
- Discipline, Fearlessness, And Other Lies Sold To You By Clever Marketers
- The Problem With PentaCore And Cryptocurrency Mutual Funds In General (And What To Do About It)
- Stock Trading Platform Robinhood Latest Company To Cash In On Crypto Craze With New Cryptocurrency Exchange
- Japan's Largest Bank Set To Open Cryptocurrency Exchange In April 2018
- There Is Now A Japanese Cryptocurrency-Themed Pop Group
- WaltonChain (WTC) Voted #1 At SE Asia Blockchain Summit... but who cares?
- Basic Attention Token (BAT) - another token that unsuccessfully answers the question, "Why not just use an ad blocker?"
- Request Network (REQ) setting up a $30 million dollar fund for startups
- If Warren Buffett Invested In Crypto, He Would Stock Up Now While The Market Is Collapsing
- VeChain (VEN) Being Shilled HARD In r/Cryptocurrency - 50 Posts In The Last Week
- Switzerland Sees Crypto As Their Chance To Woo Drug Dealers, Saudi Princes And Shady Billionaires
- Why Creative Work Is Its Own Reward And How To Get Better At The Things You Hate
Follow, resteem and smash dat mf like button...