RAMBLE ON #4 - Love, Sex, and Guru Powers
Ramble On #4
Welcome to my new blog series - Ramble On. It is a travel based blog, created for the sole purpose of exploring new creative writing opportunities. It's bent is deliberately humorous. The stories are predominantly fiction.
Love, Sex, and Guru Powers
I had always wanted to spend time at an Ashram. To be in the midst of other enlightened types. Not that I wish to blow my own trumpet, although that clearly is what I am doing. But I like to think of myself as different. Many people have referred to me as being not of this world, so obviously I'm not the only one who thinks this about me.
Anyway like I was saying, I wanted to visit an Ashram. Turns out most of them are in India. Did you know that? Why do they put them all so far away? I know I am a travel blogger, so you my dear reader may think I am keen on travelling. Well I am. But I was broke at the time. A broke travel blogger can't travel very far. It's a hazard of the job. One no one told me about. Oh well, what was I to do?
I utilised an interesting website with a strange name. Google is what they call it. You probably haven't heard about it, but don't concern yourself too much with that. I'm often ahead of the curve when it comes to new technology. Turns out there was an Ashram right here in the city I was stranded currently in.
I made my way to the location of the Ashram. It was surrounded by a large solid wall, but not in a way that made it look like prison. No, not at all. I wouldn't even imply such a thing. There must be people of value inside was the conclusion I came to. More reason for me to be in there.
I found the gate and pressed the intercom. Having security at an Ashram did strike me as peculiar. There must be people of value in there – oh wait, I said that already. I need to vary the wording of my conclusions. Anyway, I could see through the gate. I noticed a lush garden setting. People were casually strolling around in what appeared to be silent meditation. Ah yes, enlightened types, this is the Ashram for me.
"The Guru will speak now," the Guru said. He referred to himself in the third person. That's a sign of importance, I'm sure of it. "Who are you and why are you here?"
I had been invited into the compound and eventually given a meeting with The Guru. Or Guru Powers, as the attendant had called him. A man of many names – that's another sign of importance, I'm sure of it.
"I'm a traveller," I told him. "I seek for enlightened experiences."
"Is that so?"
"Yes Guru."
"You will call me Guru Powers," he said, a degree of force emanating from his serene appearance. A contradiction, I know. Important people get away with these contradictions. I accepted this juxtaposition with the grace warranted for one so wise. I looked at him with a sense of love and appreciation. This man will help me in ways beyond my comprehension. I just knew it. He met my gaze. Wow, what power. I understood how he received that name now.
"Why do you look at The Guru like that?" he asked me.
"Because I have such love," I said.
"I can see that," he replied. "That's what bothers me about you. I can see you. See through you."
"What do you mean?"
"Your love is, well how should I put this; lusty." Had he confused my look. I gave him joyous affection. But he thinks I was mentally undressing him. Had I upset The Guru?
"I am so filled with joy to be in your presence Guru," I said.
"Guru Powers!"
"I'm sorry."
There was a pause in the proceedings whilst Guru Powers kept looking at me, eyes firmly fixed upon me. Could he impart words of knowledge to me? Fill me with wisdom and understanding? Help me rise above the mundane and experience the joy of truth? I waited for him to continue.
"I am Guru Powers, and I see all things. And you have wicked ways."
"Teach me how to be less wicked."
"That is not a job for Guru Powers."
"You can't help me?"
"Guru Powers can do anything he wishes. I don't wish this."
"Why not?"
"You ask too many questions." The Guru's blood vessels bulged. A slight expression of tension showed on his face. He looked so important right now. My love for him was growing.
"You are too young and naive. You don't understand the ways of The Guru," the Guru said. He was right, I am young. Not sure what naive means though. But I assume he is right on that too. No, of course he is, he is Guru Powers.
"You like love too much," he said. Wow, another thing he got right. It's like he could see right through me. "But in side you, in your heart, it isn't love, it's sex." Was there a difference?
"What do you mean?" I finally asked The Guru.
"You think too many lusty thoughts," he replied. "You're doing it right now. I would appreciate it if you stopped."
"I can't," I admitted. This wasn't going so well. Like being dragged into a confessional against my own will. I did have love for The Guru in my heart. As for my mind and its thoughts, I should have left them outside the compound.
"Then you are lost to me, traveller."
I turned to leave, admonished and feeling a little sheepish. The Guru was truly wise. But how did he do it? I needed to know. "If I may ask one more question of you before I leave," I said.
"You may, but just the one."
"How do you see through me, into me, like that?"
He laughed, like a jolly Buddha figure sitting on his little Ashram throne. A rosy light spread out from around his bald and shiny head. Like it had been oiled by angels with holy water. I couldn't see these things, I didn't have The Guru's sight. I just used my lesser strength traveller's sight. Not the same, really. "How do I see through you?" He repeated my question. Perhaps he thought I may have forgotten it already.
"Yes."
"I have Guru Powers," he said, continuing to laugh at his own joke. I could hear laughter around me. Others were entering the room, filling it with their laughing presence. I wondered if the Buddha had been this annoying, before departing, bringing my short lived Ashram experience to a premature end.
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@naquoya
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Writing Myself Out of Existence
When the Levee Breaks
Reality Fading
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Notes #1 - #39 - Notes From An Amateur Writer Collection
Notes #40 - Read, Write, and Face the Future
Notes #41 - What Are Some Of Your Favourite Books?
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Notes #43 - Seeking a Community Of Writers
Notes #44 - What Are Some of Your Favourite Characters?
Notes #45 - When Madness Came Knocking
Notes #46 - Why Do I Write?
Notes #47 - Books vs Movies: Who Wore it Better?
Notes #48 - Google Seems to Know Me too Well
Notes #49 - Conversation With My Multiple Selves
Notes #50 - Revisiting Childhood With Storm Boy and Mr Percival
Notes #51 - Some Of The Books That I Am Reading
Notes #52 - A Nomadic Australian Celebrates Australia Day
Notes #53 - Finding the Right Character For the Job
Notes #54 - But First Coffee
-Ramble On (Humour based fictional travel blog)
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Wow! Interesting story. I laughed many times. I don't like "Guru Powers." In fact, I find anyone who considers themselves a guru is someone I automatically distrust. I have my reasons for this, but you showed a few of them here. Well written, friend. :)
The guru powers come from the one who seeks the guru. That's why he laughed. :) Maybe?
That which you seek is already within.
Yes :)
Thank you, glad you got some laughs out of it. To me that is my goal. As for "Guru Powers", yes this has a degree of real life in its formation. I have known people burnt by similar types in the past. Perhaps even singed a little myself. Live and learn.
I appreciate the comment.
hola @naquoya, yo no soy un habido lector y no suelo leer post largos pero el tuyo definitivamente me lo disfrute de punta a punta, vaya que si sabes expresar una divertida y muy buena historia, gracias por compartir
muchas gracias amigo
where did you find the inspiration for this @naquoya?
i love how the story was going. haha. it made me laugh also. you really have a knack in this genre. what nationality are from?
are you a GURU? xD
Inspiration is a funny thing. A lot like Guru Powers. I have no idea where it all comes from, but i wish I did. I would have it on store, like a tap and turn it on when needed. Reading a lot helps.
Glad the story made you laugh. That is the main goal of my mine I have with this series.
Australian, and no guru powers here. Just a lowly seeker :)
a lowly seeker with a great sense of humor. xD
i'll definitely be looking forward to more guru powers!!
That's the thing those travel bloggers never say. You can never really start from 0. It takes a while before one sees a return, I imagine. So, there would inevitably be tight budget days.
Does referring to yourself in the third person really emphasize importance? @jedau will try this starting now. That Guru is quite the character. @jedau had thought that the powers joke was coming, but @jedau knew that someone so enlightened would never even attempt it. @jedau was wrong, making @jedau think that @jedau is still not enlightened. Sublime storytelling here, mate! @jedau enjoyed the trip very much.
I need to work on some better material, is that it, lol? Yes obvious, but hopefully an amusing story from point a to b. And the third person thing would get tiring after a while, @naquoya says.
@jedau does not think that. @jedau does not think that at all! @jedau is content with what you have, and @jedau feels like everything you put out is top notch stuff.
@naquoya thinks @jedau's flattery is perfect and can read it all day long. And @naquoya thinks if we keep tagging each other like this, the pinging will start to get annoying :)
@naquoya has finished speaking now. (ping)
There's a pinging? @jedau doesn't have sounds where @jedau works, so @jedau is saved from the torment.
@naquoya? @naquoya? @naquoya?
@moneyinfant can see the jokes you are making. In fact he can see right through them. From now on you will call him @moneyinfant Divine. For infants can have no impure and lusty thoughts.
And yes, the Buddha could be quite annoying at times, much like Guru Power and @moneyinfant Divine.
Too much Guru Powers with this one, it seems. Or my jokes are too lame. Perhaps annoying is akin to enlightenment. I'm half way home if that's the case.
Joke on oh half-enlightened one :))
Now to complete the circle...
Good lesson. The guru laughs till the traveler can join in the folly of not taking it too seriously. :) Laughing Buddha. Nice!
Glad you could see the subtle underlying concepts below the humour. Thanks for your visit :)
Judging by your ability to tell a story I myself am wondering if you have "Guru Powers" yourself!
Haha, my guru powers have laid dormant for all these years. Until Steemit came along. Thank you for your flattering comment. Glad you liked it :)
Excellent writing! Such an enjoyable read :)
Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it :)
hahah hey who knew a broke traveler can't really get that far? lol :P That made me laugh right at the start. :)
That Guru is really slick with his words, isn't he? How did he really see through him.. I mean the sexual love guys you invented. I love the humorous way you told this story. I absolutely loved it. In none sexual way. lollol This Guru would know.. lol
That is one funny an amazing story, my friend. You have some great talent for writing. Keep it up. I truly enjoyed reading it. :)
Haha, thank you for your generous comment. The life of a broke travel blogger would normally be dull, but not for our hapless intrepid wanderer. Imagine running into the all wise Guru Powers. And just in time for his weekly blog :)
I tend to write a lot of serious pieces, but I really enjoy humour and some silliness along the way. This is my outlet for that. And knowing you found it funny and an enjoyable read is really appreciated. All the best :)
maybe one day i will be able to travel to india and check this out myself
Really? You didn't read this did you?