ColorChallenge: MondayRed - "Red Daze" [30MinuteFreeWrite]
This is Part One of my Steemit-exclusive, ColorChallenge-inspired, FreeWrite story series. I'm not happy with this one, and I hope you all won't be as well. In fact, this output really made me furious. Read at your own peril.
Dread overcame her, as she found her face firmly planted on the cold, metal table. XJ-1920 had always been a strong woman, but the weight of the hulking enforcer's hand was just too much. Blood dripped down the side of her face, as she coughed harshly. She tried to wiggle her way out, but she had very little strength to spare. Her naked body was covered with bruises, and several of her bones had been dislocated.
The other enforcer tied her firmly down to the chair. They both wore black overalls and a blank expression on their faces. The pair looked eerily similar, like mindless grunts whose sole purpose is to deliver beatdowns to hapless women. They didn't derive any enjoyment from what they were tasked to do, at least they didn't look like they were enjoying it.
Once she was securely strapped in, a buzzing sound reverberated throughout the entire room, accompanied by the activation of the red bulb above the only door. The knob turned, and a pale, bald man stepped in. He was clad in a suit that seemed tailored to his body, and he commanded a presence that made the two bruisers immediately step back.
"My dear," the pale man remarked as he sat across the table. His eyelids drooped as he scanned XJ-1920's bloodied form. "Have you had enough?"
She didn't remember, but this was the eighth time they had this encounter in the last three months. The level of violence varied with every situation. This was by far the bloodiest in recent memory. Only the first and fourth encounters could compare. The other meetings involved a much more psychological or emotional form of torture.
The first meeting was excused as a car crash perpetrated by a drunk truck driver, while the fourth encounter used a malfunctioning elevator as an excuse. For this one, a crane would mishandle its payload and cause a bus to careen off the side of the road. In the minds of the people who knew her, XJ-1920 was the unluckiest woman in the world.
Even with all of the mind wipes, XJ-1920 was haunted with glimpses of the torture she had endured. She vaguely remembered the pale man, but she couldn't shake the feeling that they had met numerous times before. In truth, she was right, but no one would be able to back up her claim. Not even her own memories.
"W-Why?" she asked weakly.
"Why?" the man returned the question. He let out a menacing grin as he sat back on his chair. "It's the same thing with you, isn't it?"
"I-I don't—" she stuttered. "I don't understand. What did I ever do to you? W-What did I do … to deserve this?"
"XJ-1920," he proclaimed, as he shuffled through his notes. He didn't even need to refer to them because at that point he had practically memorized every aspect of her life. "Tell me, do you love your family?"
She sat silently. Her eyes formed into slits. She wheezed and struggled to breathe as blood started to enter her lungs.
"Please don't think that we take pleasure in dealing you pain," the pale man requested. "We're just, well … We're just looking out for your family's wellbeing, that's all."
"H-How … How is this looking out for my wellbeing?"
"Your family's wellbeing. Your family is more than just one person. After all, you may very well be the single greatest threat to its existence."
She was confused. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out what was happening. Unfortunately for her, she had very little life left.
"We gave you the chance to reform. A chance to start over fresh. Seven times, in fact. Seven times! Would you believe that, boys?"
"I-I … I don't … I don't understand."
"Of course you don't. We wipe your memories of these encounters after subjecting you through the treatment. Of which, you've been receiving an increasing amount of with every meeting. You're quite resilient, I must admit."
She shook her head, still without any clue as to what the pale man was talking about.
"You've carried on with your illicit affairs with women, knowing full well it was against the law. Did you think we wouldn't find out?"
"Illi … I-I don't—"
"You don't what?" the pale man interrupted. "You don't admit to committing such heinous acts?"
The pale man nodded at his two cohorts, silently commanding them to bring out a computed screen. One of the men plopped it down on the metal table, while the other busied himself with the task of strapping the helpless woman's eyes open. XJ-1920 screamed, but was gagged with a leather strap.
"What, did you think all of the videos we had shown you earlier was some sort of sick torture? Perhaps another round would convince you of your faults."
The computer screen activated and showed videos of men and women having sex with one another. It was interspersed with images of happy heterosexual families and messages purporting the natural order of things. After a while, the screen displayed videos of women engaging in sexual acts with other women, wherein she was prodded with an electric baton every time. This was, again, not the first time this had happened to her, but her conscious mind had no recollection of it.
Cold baths and sharp punches to the abdomen quickly followed. The men stepped out of the room right before the lights flickered at an epileptic pace. A deafening horn echoed throughout the room right after. Then, all of a sudden, silence and darkness. But, just as XJ-1920 was about to recuperate, the video started to play, and the entire sequence restarted. This whole cycle repeated itself at an irregular interval for what seemed like days.
A loud thud startled her awake, as she found her neck tied to a heavy chain. Her arms and legs were free, but she didn't have the strength to use them. Sitting across the room was the pale, bald man, patiently awaiting for her to regain consciousness.
"See what you made us do?" he remarked, shaking his head. "This … This is not what I want for you. If it were up to me, you would be sitting comfortably in your own home, with your husband and your daughter. You do remember them, don't you?"
The man walked slowly towards her, dragging his feet. He heaved up his arms and let out a yawn.
"Here we are once again," he whispered sullenly. He crouched down right in front of her. XJ-1920's body jerked back as she recoiled towards the wall. "Oh, please don't. I am not a monster. In fact, I'm giving you yet another chance. The record is 10, so you're definitely on pace for that. Fingers crossed your body can withstand all of the stress."
XJ-1920 bit her lip, as her body uncontrollably shook. She clutched her knees, curling into a ball. Her mind was broken, and she had no other recourse. She knew full well that homosexual activities were forbidden by law, but she still went through with it because it was when she felt most natural. During the entire time, she kept thinking if she deserved the punishment that was being handed to her. At that point, she was convinced that it was.
"As I said, I am not a monster," he reiterated. The pale man placed two pills on the floor—a red one and a blue one. "I know that deep inside you know what these are. We've done this dance a number of times already, even without your memories I know you know what to choose. Choose the blue one and go back to living a happy life with your family, forgetting everything that has happened here. But, if you choose the red one, well … you're not only condemning yourself, but you're also subjecting your family to a lifetime of misery and ridicule."
"If I choose the blue one, I would continue living a lie?"
"If you choose the blue one, you would continue living."
She paused for a second to catch her breath. The decision was easy, she didn't even have to think all that much. She crawled forward slowly, and then she reached out towards her chosen pill. Before she could convince herself of the other option she popped the pill into her mouth and swallowed it without aid.
The pale man stood, grabbing the pill that remained. He opened his hand and stared at the lone blue pill. "Interesting."
Man! This is my kind of stuff! Who in the hell is XJ-1920? How did she end up there? Who are those sickening people and what manner of world do they all live in? See, this is why I love fiction like this. It throws the reader into the mix headfirst, not a moment to breath or get their bearings. So after the read is over, our minds can have fun in filling in all the missing gaps. Just love it, man.
Though the author must have a good, sound sense of conveying interesting, descriptive and flowing narrative. You, sir, excel in every one of those areas. Intriguing to the max and open to almost limitless exploration of your unfolding lore.
Simply phenomenal. Can't wait to see what the next colour offers up... :)
Who indeed ;) I was in that same mindset as I was writing this, so I guess that translated to the page. High praise coming from a revered author such as yourself, brother. I'm not worthy! But, accept it and cherish it all the same :D
The encouragement you provide is something I regard highly, my brother. Even though I say I might leave, these just keeps pulling me back. Your creativity is infectious and it spills over to my work. Reading your esteemed work alongside mine fuels my drive. Thank you for taking the time to provide these wonderful sentiments, brother! :D
That is interesting. The red pill taken but what will happen?
Why are you not happy? The content you wrote as in the punishment in this unjust society for being normal or the writing itself?
I liked it :0)
OHOHO, Boomdawg, I'm trying to rile people up, you see. Since this is technically a #colorchallenge entry, expect the picture to become clearer as we go along. Great eye though!
In terms of the writing though, I don't hate it, but it's not what I first envisioned when I set out to write this. Since this is the first entry, the whole series was shaped by this. There was no solid plan--just me, an artwork, my computer and a timer. I had initially set the timer to 10 minutes, but I only had a couple of paragraphs then so I gave myself some leeway and made it 30 minutes! Haha! As the story goes along, the time to write becomes less and less. Suffice to say, I was positively challenged by this haha!
Thanks for stopping by, dude! You liking it is a good sign for the series. I'm glad that was the case, or I'm in for a disappointing week haha :D
Ah seeing red!! Silly me!!
Yes, I think it is a good start indeed. That's quite intriguing having less and less time to write future installments. I can fair rattle out some writing but the editing and proofreading reading does indeed take some time. I have faith in you!
Haha! ;) Look at the art again, and try to think about what you could see. Save it for the culmination post where I'll divulge the first story I had in mind. Let's see if you guess it correctly haha!
One would argue that editing and proofreading takes a whole lot more time than the writing and conceptualizing haha! It's not a hard-and-fast rule here, talking about editing beyond the time, I just really want to challenge myself to get something done without ruminating too much on it. I'm just glad it's received well by a literary connoisseur such as yourself :D
I did receive it well!! Now I am off to look at that art! DAsh it!
SPIDEEEEEYYY!! I SEEES IT!! :OD
Hahaha! Look closely, dude! Right smack dab in the middle ;) I think I'm getting myself in a sticky situation here :/
I got it, spider man spideeee!!
Are you correct? We'll see. We shall see! Oh, Part Two is up when you find the time, dudemeister :D
It's creepy but I couldn't stop reading! Maybe these 5 minute freewrites can act as a sort of therapy, to dust the spiders out of the corners of our minds occasionally. It's got to come out!
Interested to see how this concludes, nice fast typing! I'm getting faster, but wow that's a lot in 5 minutes to me.
Yes! Actually, I wanted to make multiple stories just like you did in one post, but I stretched it out to different days because I thought of making this a series. Originally, this was supposed to be a 10-minute FreeWrite, but for the sake of coherence (and my sanity), I extended it to 30 minutes just for this part haha! I underestimated the spiders, and it seemed that the tensile strength of their cobwebs was too much. Consider this warm-up for the whole series :D
With regard to the typing, being a software developer forced me to practice writing quickly using the keyboard. As you can imagine, it was useful when I became a writer haha! I guess you could practice rewriting stuff, and try not to look at your keyboard. Position your index fingers above 'F' and 'J', then everything will slot into place. You with a 85 wpm typing speed--I can already envision the awesomeness! Thanks for stopping by, man! I appreciate it :D
I have to ask the same question as @meesterboom. I hope it wasn't the writing itself that you were furious at, because it was incredibly vivid and intense. It made me want to find her captors and subject them to at least equally the amount of terrible treatment.
I don't want to give away too much just yet, as I want to unfurl the curtains slowly. But, may I just ask, what emotion did you feel as your were reading it? You wanting to find her captors and deal the same punishment is clue enough to what I'm trying to accomplish with this :D
I'm going to say this in a culmination post down the road, but your posting of the #colorchallenge with the poetry is part of what inspired me to create this series. I combined it with #freewrite to give myself an unnecessary amount of stress haha! I tried writing this in under 10 minutes, but by that time I only had a very short piece written. So, I gave myself more time just for this chapter so that I could set the stage a bit more. The timer will decrease ... over time ;)
Thanks for stopping by, sister! I'm glad you were infuriated by the story as well wink wink ;)
I felt super pissed at a mentality as ignorant as those of her captors, wanting to ban all people like that from the world. Also impressed with her stubbornness and willingness to sacrifice in the name of integrity, though at the same time a little disappointed in her that she didn't figure out who she was before bringing a husband and child, well really a child, into her life and the world.
I'm glad you didn't limit yourself to the time limit. It's good to have a limit as a relative goal I think, but not always be a stickler to it.
Yes, yeeesss, excellent haha! Let those emotions stew, but only for this part. I don't want to say too much, but ... Okay, I'll clue you in .....
people are being inhibited since birth, and the red pill is a means to disable it
Even though I didn't have enough time to write everything down, this world still exists fully alive in my head haha! For this series, I did try my best to be a stickler to it, just to challenge myself haha! I have to say, it was very stressful haha!
Well done and an interesting premise choosing to endure pain and suffering to be who you are. It reminds me of the choices writers and artists make in order to pursue their craft. You know the expression starving artist. Hey who wants a hard and difficult life, no one, yet many are willing to do it to do what they want.
Right you are! I really wanted to give this some sense of universality, and starving artists are a great example of what I wanted to touch on as well. Some say sacrifice is necessary, though not everyone suffers. Pursuing something though would entail that you face the consequences that comes with it. That's a very good observation, my friend.
Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate you taking the time to comment :D
Ah. That's one part Trainspotting, one part Matrix, and all @jedau!
The Matrix was a huge influence for this, but would I offend if I said I haven't watched Trainspotting? :/ I was too young when it came out, and while I have since acquired a copy, I have been putting off watching it in favor of other offerings.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, my friend! It's very much appreciated :D
That definitely doesn't offend! I only watched Trainspotting after I read the book (same name). I really have to be ready to watch it again (and that's been years). It covers a slew of hard topics that revolve around heroin.
This clip kinda sums it up...
Sold! I'm putting it on my queue the weekend after this :D
Rock on. Let me know what you think.
Did you watch the sequel for it? If so, should I bother watching them back-to-back?
I don't know. :/ I didn't even know that there was a sequel until I went looking for the clip. lol.
Haha! You can go watch it now so that you can tell me if it's worth it :)
What a great use of freewriting! Combining it with the color challenge enhances both! And isn't it magnificent how we can surprise even ourselves?
I was definitely surprised! My hands had a life of its own. This endeavor was definitely one of the most challenging things I've done in the course of my writing life. I hope this series drums up some interest in freewriting!
Me, too!
Will definitely shout out to you until the compilation post, so expect at least a few new followers.
Thanks, Mr. Popularity! :P :)
:D
Oh stop, you. I'm far from that. Have you seen my vote average? My latest post barely made it to 10 votes haha!
Twice mine! But you have a dedicated following. :) Also, you're very easy to get along with.
Yeah, but you have to account that I've been here for a year now, counting my hiatus. Also, I make it a point to leave long thoughtful comments on other people's posts, regardless of their reputation or status. Most people will suggest schmoozing up to whales, but I never believed in that. Maybe that's why I'm still a minnow :/ BUT, a minnow with genuine connections haha! :D
I make it a point to reply to every comment I get, too. So I guess that helped. Give it time. I'm sure that when you're on your first year, you'd be a dolphin with a thousand followers :D
OR
I'm just messing with you and I paid off everyone who comments on my post hoping to drum up excitement haha! You choose what you believe ;)
Excellent post dear friend @jedau, I love the reverse psychology that you have used.
"I'm not happy about this, and hopefully not all will be so well." In fact, this exit really made me furious.Read at your own risk "
Which can be so bad that the same author does not want to read. This soo fact invites you to read, what I am trying to understand and why I take the red pill?
Thank you very much dear friend for this material
HAHA! I'm glad you noticed that, my friend. Sharp eye! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. It was definitely challenging to write, but I hope it's worth it in the end :D
This is a cool story. I haven't read the following one yet, having missed this yesterday. But it is an interesting premise, having an android (I assume from the name) dealing with this particular issue. Identity and choice. And the ramifications that arise, or will arise. Such a human story, I love it when its translated in a way that highlights it like this.
Hey, mate! You haven't missed a lot :) I could say to you now, this is not an android. Sorry to disappoint :( I was going to mention it in the culmination post, but the names were inspired by your story of how you got your name @naquoya I keep forgetting the title of it. It's the one where the names are primary keys haha!
This one was done in a mad dash, considering this was written in 30 minutes. I'm not super happy with it, as I feel that I could improve it given time, but hearing your compliments help to ease that negative feeling. Coming from someone whose writing I admire greatly, it really means a lot, mate! I appreciate you stopping by to give it a read and share your thoughts :D
I thought that may have been the case after I commented. The character didn't come across as an android at all, it was just the name.
It had me reading through to the end, so it worked well, even if you had time limitations. You seemed to have pushed through them.
Haha yeah, I reserved mentioning the inspiration to the name up to the culmination post, but I just can't help divulge it since you commented on it. Quite specifically, I might add! Haha!
My brain was on fire, I needed to take routine breaks after. The FreeWriting stuff wasn't built for a series, or maybe I was just doing it wrong haha
I ruined the surprise. Sorry about that!
I haven't read the third one yet, but I'm looking forward to it. The first two built upon the premise nicely.
As for whether you were doing it wrong - I'd say not at all, stretch rules, break rules, even if only you notice the benefit. If it helps develop your writing then you utilised the idea to perfection.
Haha! That's alright, mate. I'm sure I've unintentionally ruined a fair deal of surprises myself with my thoughtful comments as well, so the irony isn't lost on me :D I'm glad that what I wanted to do translated really well. This was a labor of love so I appreciate all of the positive encouragement :D
This post has received a 0.78 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
Well, uh, this is nice. Thanks!