Your child will be three? - now it is getting really funny
Many children make around the third birthday around once again a strong development spurt. The kids are talking and understanding a lot more than before and are rapidly developing their own personality. For parents and outsiders that brings a lot of hilarious situations. In addition, the increasing understanding of children usually allows their parents a few freedoms.
A good friend of mine, whose children are now older, once told me that the time when his kids were three years old was the best. As the father of a daughter who turned three months ago, I can now understand him. At least in part - but more of that later. One thing is for sure: with three-year-olds, there is suddenly much more to laugh for the parents.
Many children still have a significant development spurt around their third birthday (I am sure that this is one of the reasons why kindergarten starts at this age). The new skills - on a linguistic and cognitive level as well as in dealing with others - the kids also want to implement immediately. Above all, they do that in the game. This opens up completely new possibilities of interaction - both with other children and with their parents. Children learn first and foremost by observing and imitating their surroundings - and that is precisely why parents can prepare themselves for amusing situations. Because more than once you will recognize yourself in their children and their games.
Word creations to the dead laugh
Our little girl suddenly started to talk more and more with her third birthday. This toddler-talk is often really funny. The sentence often reminds of Yoda from "Star Wars" and every now and then there are word creations that can make you laugh with laughter. Did you know what children meant by the following terms: trottelini, nurse, pantyhose, closing tears, speeds, muffarella or comforting bread? Here the dissolution - meant: tortellini, kindergarten teacher, pantyhose, zipper, sweets, mozzarella and toast bread. The most beautiful word creation of our daughter so far? After we were with Lilly on the medieval market, she told the grandma on the phone from the "superevil market". A real checker, our little girl ;-)
The new language skills enable social games - even with parents
The new language skills open up completely new possibilities for children to play. Games that require collusion will now become possible. Often children now play everyday situations that they are familiar with. Either with other children or - often even more popular - with the parents. Besides "shopping" our Lilly likes to play "father, mother, child". The game usually begins with the announcement "You are the child". Our daughter never takes the role of the child, but either the mother - my wife is then a child and then Lilly has a doll as a baby - or even more frequently the daddy (which I strangely enough in the game, the second dad ). My wife and I wondered for a while why Lilly likes to play the role of father. Then we noticed that in the game we always drive somewhere in the car - and with us the dad is just the chauffeur. Something our daughter did not want to take in the game. In this way, as a parent, you get the mirror from the children and notice how unconsciously gender roles are shaped.
Even with other children is played together from the age of three more. This is also promoted by the time in the kindergarten, where children can meet peers and get away from the "big ones" something. Very first friendships are closed, these being primarily friendships. Even we parents were allowed to hear "if you do not give me the gummy bears, then you are no longer my friend." The first time we were so surprised that we did not know whether we should shake our heads in disbelief or laugh out loud.
The new skills do not just have nice sides
Through the language skills children can also formulate questions - and do so with enthusiasm. In many cases this is the beginning of the endless "why" questionnaires that can really get on your parents' nerves. The questions of the children are born out of a real need for knowledge and therefore one should also try to answer them as best as possible. However, parents are forgiven if you do not feel like it after the tenth "why".
Also, parents have to take good care of what they say because their child is listening. And the very words that they should not hear children seem to snap up especially well. The fun, then pronounce it is all the greater, if the parents react shocked. The SCH word has been part of our daughter's vocabulary for a few weeks now. We're just not sure if she picked it up from us or in kindergarten. We hope for the latter ;-)
With what children learn anew, their personality also develops. This inevitably leads to increased discussions, because children want to show their independence and no longer accept everything that the parents propose to them. With us it started with discussions about clothes and now we have arrived at the food, where our daughter has quite clear ideas what she DOES NOT want. An effective remedy in this case is to give children two alternatives right from the beginning ("Would you like to put on the red or the blue dress?"). So your child has the feeling that it was allowed to decide for themselves and does not feel taken by surprise. A tip: more than two alternatives still overwhelm children at this age.
Speaking of personality - you will also increasingly recognize yourself in your child. In the gestures of your child, in his choice of words, in the way he argues with you. In one or the other discussion you will surely hear proverbs that you like to use yourself.
The increased desire for self-employment is also expressed in the fact that children want to do things themselves more often than before. For parents, it can be frustrating to watch the whole thing and wait patiently for their child to dress for themselves. If something does not work out, tears or outbursts of rage often result in frustration. But that's what parents already know about the tantrums and meanwhile mostly deal with them.
New freedoms for parents of three year old children
With the advancing age, children develop in other ways. Most three year olds need - at least during the day - no more diaper. Many sleep in their own bed. As a rule, children of this age sleep through the night. A large part of the three-year-olds - mostly through kindergarten - had experience with third-party care. This makes it possible for parents of children at this age to conquer new freedoms for themselves. Most three-year-olds are happy about matches / playdates with friends of the same age. Here, the parents of the children can agree, so that only one parent takes over the supervision. This usually works fine. The children can usually live with their mom and dad saying goodbye for a while and often two kids who play well with each other are even easier to supervise than one who wants to get busy. The duration of absence of the parents can be slowly increased. However, you should be reachable by phone for emergencies.
The same applies to evenings with the partner - without any children. Now comes the time when you can go out in pairs again, assuming a reliable babysitter. Again, you should increase the time in which one is "off" slowly.
Three-year-olds also have the ability to see if they want. They slowly learn to empathize with others and understand their situation. So you can explain then that you have to go now, because otherwise you are late or that unfortunately you have to go to work, to pay the rent and to buy ice cream. Also, the understanding of deals in the way "if you're good now you get" have children now. These trades are not pretty, but as parents, you often get what you want. A real advantage over the tantrums of two-year-olds, where usually nothing helps.
Suggestions for parents of three-year-olds
There are many things that parents of three-year-olds can do that are fun, make connections, or help children develop. Here are some suggestions:
- Talk to your child through the day. Either in the evening at dinner or later in bed before the bedtime story. Encourage your child to share his experiences. You will be surprised what your child has to report.
- Read to your child. Children now slowly have the ability to concentrate on following short stories, the short versions of fairy tales, for example. Reading aloud and talking to oneself greatly enhance the linguistic abilities of her child.
- Sing with your child. It has a lot of fun and slowly learns to remember the lyrics or to interpret them - often very funny.
- Encourage your child to tell his grandparents about his experiences on the phone.
- Create your own rituals. In addition to the bedtime ritual, these can be regular joint activities - feeding ducks, visiting a tree, baking pizza, building a train, etc. - or just a special song, a phrase they always use together or a secret handshake. Something that connects you and your child.
- Let your child decide things. That does him good and creates self-confidence. Limit the selection to two alternatives.
- Explain things to your child. The explanations do not usually have to be particularly complicated, details do not usually understand three-year-olds. Or - even better: show your child things. An example: our daughter did not want to be fastened in the car. I told her that the straps are important because they hold them when I have to brake. That only half convinced her. Then I told her I would show her. She was buckled up, I drove a few feet slowly and then braked hard. On the one hand, she thought that was great and on the other hand, strapping on has not been an issue ever since.
- Let your child gain experience. Protect your child where needed and explain why they do not want things done. But let your child gain experience as long as it is safe. So if your child insists on going out barefoot in cold weather, then leave it - and follow with stockings and boots.
- Let your child do things for himself. The feeling of "I did it myself" does the kids a lot.
Show and explain things about your child - the way home or how it did this or that. This promotes the language skills and self-confidence of your child.
- Let your child share things with other children. The principle of sharing is still difficult to understand for children of this age. You do not see the benefits yet. But if, for example, you only give sweets to your child at the playground, sharing them with the other children, then it will quickly learn - and make new friends as well.
- Take your child and their needs seriously. Your child is by no means a baby anymore and is developing his personality. It also means finding out and deciding what suits him or not - and what does not. Support it as much as possible and save the "no" for important things.
Three year old - not always easy, but often funny
Children under the age of three are not always easy - the defiance phase is not quite over yet, the increasing urge for self-reliance leads to stubbornness and denial - and yet that is an age of many delights for the parents. Your child is now getting more and more understanding, they can do more with him, but also have more to take care of his wishes. Actually only fair, right? In any case, living with a three-year-old child has many funny moments. Another example: A few days ago, my wife told our daughter after the goodnight kiss, "I love you". Then the answer of our three year olds: "Thank you."
What else can you say :-)
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.
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