Never Stop Taking Care of Yourself...
About six months ago, I was a total mess. I had financial burdens and kept blaming my husband for not being supportive and competent enough. To top it, I hardly took out time for my own self and placed that blame on my husband too. I basically lacked the ability to take accountability for my decisions. I had worked on it before and had improved at it about 2 years back, but being in a crisis somehow made me let go of that since I found it easier to put the blame on another person.
When I began working on improving my mindset and behavior, I realized that a major reason why I kept playing the blame game and felt so terrible was because I hardly did anything for my own well-being and seldom did I take out time for my own self. I was busy working to make money or doing household chores or taking care of my son. Don't get me wrong, playing with my son did bring me a lot of happiness, but when I am with him, it is not ideally the 'me-time' thing. At that point I realized the importance of taking care of and loving yourself and doing something for just yourself every day. That was the time when I did not even used to make a cup of tea for myself or breakfast only for myself. I used to eat when my son and husband had their breakfast/ lunch/ dinner and if neither of them wanted me to prepare a meal, I wouldn't make anything for myself as well because I found it silly just to get up and do something for only myself. Later I realized that it was this mindset that was increasing my stress levels.
When you stop taking care of yourself and doing things just for yourself, you feel that you are living only for others and while this can be a rewarding thought, it can also be very debilitating at times. So yeah, that feeling that I had NO life of my own was killing me from within and making me slip into depression. Luckily, I was mindful enough to realize that and identify that unhealthy behavior before it got way too late. So I slowly started to take out time for myself.
I began with going for walk 4 to 5 times a week for 20 minutes in the start and then slowly increased the time to 30 minutes when I got comfortable with the idea of doing brisk walk daily and found it easier to adjust this activity in my schedule. Slowly, I made more time for myself and took the decision of joining Steemit which is something I did solely for my own self and am just loving it. Third, I started cooking stuff for my own self. So now when I want a cup of coffee or a sausage and cheese sandwich at a time when my husband and son are asleep, I don't force myself to sleep too, but head to the kitchen and treat myself. A few days back, i made this delicious strawberry ice cream shake which was yummy. It was loaded with calories, but it's okay to treat yourself every once in a while (that once happens daily for me though) haha.
Ignoring that part, I am actually enjoying loving myself more every day and taking out time to just focus on my needs. Even if that time is not more than 60 minutes daily, doing things for my own self every single day make a huge difference in my life and emotional well-being. If you do not make time for yourself on a regular basis, I encourage you to start doing that now. Trust me, it will eliminate a lot of your routine stress and make you feel that you do live for yourself too. Do share your thoughts on the topic. Your comments really make my day.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
I am running a writing contest (that expires in 3 days) with 5SBD up for grabs for the winner so if any of you would like to participate in it, click on the following link:
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Here are some of my articles that may interest you:
How Positive Stereotypes can Make Life Difficult
Why is it so Hard to Apologize for Your Own Wrongdoings??
Confessions of a People Pleaser...
To Sleep or Not to Sleep, that is the Question....
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One Smile and a Deep Breath to Quickly Fight Stress
Why I am Grateful for My Hardships...
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Why is it Okay to Be a Little Selfish, Focus on Your Needs and Communicate them to Loved Ones
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You are absolutely right. That's what i had been doing and it depressed me a lot thinking that I'm not doing anything for myself. After marriage, my contact with friends was minimum. And I'm always reluctant to make new ones or maybe because I'm shy.
But now i go out for a walk. Meet new people. Make friends. And i feel a LOT better when i get back home.
That's good that you are now building your own life and taking out time for yourself. This is really important for your emotional and physical well-being. I stopped meeting friends too after having a baby, but then I started making time for them not on a regular basis but I do meet them and it helps me feel happier. Thanks for stopping by :)
So glad you're learning to take care of yourself. I think it's essential to a happy life.
That shake looks yummy and well deserved! 😊
Heyyy thank you so much for the kind words. It means sooo much!
I think a lot of us fall into this trap of forgetting about ourselves. I'm so happy that you are finding time for yourself and that it is making you happy, good for you.
Yes that trap is so tricky and it lures you towards it quite a lot of times. I am happy to have escaped it :) Thanks for stopping by :)
You need to be happy with yourself first to make others close to you happy...
Very true :)
Nicely worded article and inspirational. the path to self leads to some interesting discovery. #thealliance
Thanks a lot @abmakko! Yes self-awareness does help you discover yourself better and that makes it easier for you to accept yourself first and then love yourself. :)
Someone once said to me: if you don't love yourself, nobody will love you, and if you're not able to being fine alone, you'll never be fine with the others.
Sometimes I need to remind those words, because they're true. So, I totally agree with your post! :)
Yes that's what I believe in! Thanks for the kind words.
That is solid advise one has to look after oneself to be able to care for those around us
Yeah, it helped me a lottt so I keep telling others to do the same. Thank you for the support <3
Always a pleasure 😎👍😎
I really enjoyed this post, Sharoon. It makes me happy to hear you are finding all these little ways to make life more fulfilling. Keep up the good work! Shakes look awesome by the way haha
Thank you for liking the shakes. It makes me happy when someone appreciate my cooking/ culinary skills :P I am glad you enjoyed it and am so happy to see you get more active here :D
I am visiting you from my podcast account :) this is Marianne. And I so agree with you!! It is so important to take care of ourselves!!
Heyyy I know it's you :) :) It is definitely important to take care of your own self and I'm glad I learned that lesson. :)
keep remembering!!! so easy to forget - ask me lol
So much yes. Especially as women, we have a tendency to give and give and then get depleted. Nurturing ourselves is. Crucial. My morning coffee is for everyone, though. I'm a beast without it.
Hahaha I love this comment! Yes as women and especially mothers, we often forget our own selves and let it be washed away with the needs of others. I am trying to change that a lot these days and the results are good.
Indeed, selfish is not always a bad thing.