How long does it takes for you to be successful?

walkinharmony (66)in #life • 7 years ago

This is the story often mentions in speeches around the world by the famous spiritual scholar from India, Osho.

One day, a man get out of bed on the wrong side, because he can't find his slippers, he angrily washes his face, when shaving, accidentally scratches his face, resulting in a bad mood, throwing temper toward the razor.

After cleaning himself, he found that his son did not do homework last night, he becomes angrier, and punish his son. When his wife saw it, she tried to stop him, but because he was too angry, the husband and wife were quarreling hammer and tongs.

He then drove off to work but did not expect become angrier on the road, and in the end, led to a car accident and died.

The story looks dramatic, but it's a good illustration of the emotional impact.

I assume you also have bad mood because of getting out of bed on the wrong side, maybe because of unable to find socks, bus delayed, trampled on the subway ... The emotion just comes out a bit by bit.

Festin, an American social psychologist, has also specifically used a concept to explain that this is the famous law of Festin.

10% of your life is made up of what happens to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to the things that are happening.

A simpler way to explain this is that if you can't learn to handle emotions, your future will be a mess.

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1. The Internet not only accelerates the dissemination of information but also accelerates the spread of emotion

There are a few kinds of high-frequency emotions in humans, joy, sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, but the internet is enough to make you travel through these emotions in a day or so.

An article and a piece of video on the internet will easily speed up the spread of our emotions, the ups and downs in one day, experiencing the bitter laugh that cannot be understood by the previous generation.

However, the emotion is not the culprit; the culprit is the loss of control behind the emotion.

Because emotion is difficult to identify, and there is no clear indicator, after a mixture of various emotions, slowly accumulated may lead to runaway.

In the age where emotional diffusion is beyond comprehension, it is hard to imagine what a person will eventually become if he does not handle his emotions. Just like a robot, being manipulated by the time.

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2. A successful person is not without emotion, but their emotion comes fast and goes fast.

Emotions are a common human response, and we all know that hormones in the body control different emotions.

But for successful people, the ability to deal with emotions, seem to have different advantages.

In their eyes, emotion is a kind of stress reaction; the lower tier animals are difficult to escape. But if you can use it as a means to release your cooperation signals to others, you are higher tier animals.

A friend from the advertising company once told me about a creative experience.

He was introduced by a friend, and met with a beverage brand customer, and was invited to participate in an advertising project tender. Because it was introduced by a friend and the project is quite interesting, so he agreed to participate.

He quickly assembles the team and spends two days to come out with a creative plan.

But in the end, the customer did not choose his plan, and the customer said that there are other projects and opportunities for future cooperation.

But after a while, it turns out that the customer's new advertisement uses the logo and slogan they previously created but rejected, but with some details modified.

Although it is not exactly the same, but can be clearly see that this is "plagiarism."

Speaking of this, I thought he would be furious, directly find the customer, because such customers, do not care about sensibilities.

But unexpectedly, he treated it like it never happened, he comforted his colleague: Customer first, perhaps next time we will have the cooperation opportunity.

His subordinates feel very strange, after all, they are very angry.

I also feel puzzled, directly ask him: The plagiarism is so obvious, why don’t you sue the client?

He said: "Anger can not convince opponents, will only expose my emotions, and in business, we shouldn’t be controlled by others so easily."

And I asked him, "Do you really don’t have any feelings about this?"

He said: "Of course I have feeling, but in the emotional moment, I "locked” myself up. My IQ is only at three years old if I was in an emotional state, and many times this emotion will affect my rational decision-making.”

No anger does not necessarily mean that there are no negative emotions, not to bring negative emotions to others, is the real accomplishment.

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3. You have absolutely no control to make your emotions disappear, but you can control what not to do

The cradle of negative emotions is the "lizard brain" that humans have evolved eons of years ago.

Emotions cannot be "eliminated," they are like body cells, is part of you, cannot be eliminated, can only coexist, and manage on the basis of coexistence.

The first step in managing your emotions is to perceive your emotions, acknowledge them, and accept them.

The first is to identify the emotions accurately: anger, shyness, anxiety, fear, sadness, jealousy, etc., are negative emotions. Determine which emotion you are in, and then judge whether you need to take specific action to control it.

And the most effective way is often to control yourself to do nothing, to avoid being out of control to make irrational behavior, or to say the words that hurt others.

The second step is to know where your emotions come from.

American psychologist Ellis's emotional ABC theory says:

The negative emotion of a person is not caused directly by an exciting event, but by the false belief of the individual who has been subjected to its incorrect cognition and evaluation.

The same goes to when facing break up, some people feel that break up is normal, some people feel that finally become single again is relaxed and even happy, and some people will be depressed or even suicide.

Because they have different understanding and evaluation of the matter of break up.

Angry because of shyness, or cause anxiety because of jealousy, is actually a completely different problem.

It is a solution to know where your emotions come from and then consciously choose your reactions.

The third step is to express emotions properly.

The essence of emotion is an energy, and the way of suppressing emotions is undesirable.

People who often suppress anger have a high concept of hepatitis, and people with depression often have a bad stomach.

So if you can't control it, choose to release it.

You can cry out loud, or you can talk to your friends, or have a confrontation campaign.

If you can do these three steps when facing emotions, then the emotions will be the best tool for you to experience the world.

And the speed you deal with your emotions will be your speed towards success.

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