Does the saying "You should respect your elders" still hold true today?- @ecotrain QOTW
One thing that never fails to amaze and inspire me is the @ecotrain question of the week. Week after week, the wonderful @eco-alex and other passengers from my favorite train keep having fantastic questions from the qotw that really inspire me to think from different perspectives. This week, the qotw is based on a topic really close to my heart:
Does the saying "You should respect your elders" still hold true today?
Since I wasn't able to take part in the last 2 qotws, I was more excited to participate in this one and especially since the topic is quite an important one. Here's my take on it.
You should respect your elders. I remember when i was a kid, i was advised to do just that by every elder i came across. My mother was different. She never directly told me to just respect the elders but yes she did teach me to be nice to everyone and respect people especially your parents.
But yeah more or less, my elders at that time mainly the baby boomers did believe that respect was something only limited to one's elders and that you ought to respect them at all costs even if tjey are wrong. Now let me explain what my elders meant from respect at that time.
You should obey them at all yimes even if their demand is abhorrent and completely irrational. So if a child is asked to remarry someone or give away a certain right by his elders mainly parents or grandparents, he must do it or he would be doomed. Lol yeah as crazy as it sounds, my elders then and some even now believe that.
You must apologize to your elders even if they are the ones at fault. If you have an argument with them, it is you who needs to be the first to apologize and that too in a beg for your mercy kind of way. An elderly relative of mine whom i do love and who loves me back even more has this belief. She is really loving but when she wamts to be. If she is fuming with rage, she can be quite unreasonable too and demand crazy apologies from people whom she has wronged.
You must not disagree with your elders ever. If there is a discussion, you must agree with whatever the elders sitting around the table say or believe in. If you think otherwise, keep nodding in agreement with your elderly. Keep your thoughts to yourself and it would be wise to lock them in a box and throw it away or flush it down the drain for good never to see it again everrrr...
If you have a desire, do not pursue it instantly and directly especially if it is related to pursuing a passion, studying a certain subject, liking someone and thibking of marrying someone. You could however eat an ice cream or drink soda without asking them. If your elders do not support your aspiration, please bury it in the ground right there. C'mon, be a nice kid. Didnt your elders teach you any manners?
You.must not raise your voice as in talk loudly or shout in front of your elders. This is something i think is good but it shouldnt be limited yo elders. It shoild be observed at all times but sometimes there are situations when you need to be firm and loud.
Your elders can never wrong you. Even if they want you to do something that seems unreasonable to you right now, they only have your best interests at heart. So you should never doubt their intentions and must trust them even if they ask you to keep having kids to save a dying marriage.
These are the things on top of my head right now. Most of my elders expect all of that even now.
For me, i think respect is an element that should not be limited to elders or given to people because of their age or designation or relationship with you. Respect, i believe, is a basic human right. Everyone deserves to be respected (i am not counting in those who commit heinous crimes) and should be respected regardless of their age or relationship.
I didnt think of respect like this before but after i had my son, i learnt this lesson. Babies, toddlers and kids of all ages deserve to be respected. You can respect an infant by allpwing him to cry when he does and not rushing to shush him just because he is noisy. You should respect a toddler by gicing him time to throw a tantrum when you do not pay heed to his unnecessary demand. So based on this, i believe everyone deserves to be respected and not just the elders.
When i say respect, i mean that you need to respect a person's viewpoints even if you disagree with them. You also need to be polite and civil with him and should not breach the boundaries set in the relationship. If someone asks you to run an errand for him, go do it but when you know you can do it easily. Yes you should go out of the way for certain people and even sometimes for strangers to spread love and compassion around but you should not make this habit too because in that case, you train some people to depend on you at all times and then when the one time you do say a no to them, the go all crazy and start to judge you and even put labels on you.
I think 'you should respect your elders' does hold true even now, but now respect isn't an attribute dished out just to the elders, but it is for everyone to enjoy. Also, respecting anyone now does not mean you cannot disagree with them. The baby boomers I grew up under do think of respect and agreement with an elder's viewpoint as the same thing so one cannot exist without the other. If you respect an elder, you must agree with him because disagreeing with him makes you earn the label of a disrespectful person. I don't agree with this at all. You can and should have different viewpoints on something if that's how you think and must not say yes to an elder just because he is the elder. This also doesn't mean to go on a rampage and cry WAR out loud. Just, stick to your stance if you believe in it but don't forget your manners. The two can happen at the same time.
While this is my viewpoint, I have to admit that the respecting your elders phenomenon has grown weak with time especially in certain communities. I know of many teenagers who now don't know what respect is and feel that it is important to rudely walk out of a discussion or shout loudly to prove themselves right. This they do even if they are surrounded by a group of same age people.
What do you think of the topic? What are your experiences with respecting elders? Also what are your thoughts on this piece? Looking forward to your love and support because that's what keeps me going.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
Here are some of my articles that may interest you:
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I am a part of the wonderful @ecotrain that aims to make this world a better place so do join it if that's your aim too..
Join us @steemitbloggers Animation By @zord189
Great article this one! With such an important theme. I never respected elders just because they were elders and thought that was a stupid concept. I respect a person if he or she deserves to be respected, age has nothing to do with it :)
Respect is given to he/she who merits respect. You can't shit on people and expect them to respect you!
Too many absolutes in past thinking. Personally I'll give everyone a baseline level of respect when we first meet. The level of respect will rise and fall according to their character as I get to know them.
Very well said!
oh wow.. isnt it amazing how our different cultures have SUCH different ways of viewing respect and also enforcing it. In our western culture we seems to be on the opposite pole to you in terms of family being able to enforce respect.. I can remember my brother telling my mum to F*off many times, and being horrified at that.. and I think that is very wrong..
there are so many ways to show respect.. and i do thing that blindly agreeing with everything we are told is not really real respect.. that is something else!
thanks for sharing this sharoon <3
Each time you visit my blog, my heart does a little happy dance. Yayy
Wow, your account is so different from what I have seen here and yes blindly agreeing with everyone is not what is respect. Respect is something that has a different interpretation from society to society and culture to culture and this qotw will help us all learn a lot.
I think you should respect everyone. We shouldn't treat someone differently just because they are elderly. If you disagree with them, let them know but like you said, respect their opinions. Great post!
Yeah exactly. You summarized my post nicely. Thank you for the lovely comment :)
I to was brought up with the Respect your elders saying but over time I have transitioned my own belief to be Respect everyone but base the level of respect on how they act,
I respect peoples opinions or right to have an opinion but it does not mean I have to agree to their opinion whether they are young or old, I should educate myself and make my own choice.
Absolutely Jay! Being aware of things, getting knowledge on them and then deciding on what's best for you is the right way to approach an issue or make a decision and if in all that, we disagree with someone, that doesn't mean we disrespect them.
haha a couple of your lines made me laugh out loud. i was excited to read your answer because you come from such a traditional culture and wanted to see your views on it. there is a similar ethos in the west, but certainly not as strong to this day. a lot of these ways are even hard to believe!!
i agree in showing people general respect, it's what holds human bonds and society together. personally, however, i think this extreme level of respect and keeping quiet would wear on me inside! haha WAR ;) good to hear your thoughts Sharoon <3
Hahaha I am glad they did. That was my intention. I laughed a little while writing this post too and since I wrote it using my phone, there are so many typos in this one lol. I am glad you enjoyed this. Your support means a lottt to me!
When you teach the children to respect the elders, you ensure that the next generation will honour the wisdom of others. This will help them value kindness, consideration, honesty, open-mindedness, and gratitude as well.
That is true but you need to teach your kids to differentiate right from wrong for themselves too and not just agree with what their elders want just because they are elders. You know this obeying the adults for no reason has resulted in a lot of conflicts and is a reason why some people may respect adults on the surface but not really from within.
I personally think that IF an elder has made good contributions either to society or you to help us all grow and go further, etc, then they can have a little bit of my respect. Otherwise normal people need to show they deserve it as they can't freely have it.
Yeah you should respect them a lot then and even otherwise but respect doesn't have anything to do with hugging all their ideas. Haha thank you for your input :)
You should apologize to your elders even if they are wrong. This is interesting and funny because we grew up too knowing that elders are never wrong. Worst still your mum and dad is always right.
It seems respect was more of a culture that was passed from generation to another without questioning.
Thanks @sharoonyasir for stating this. Respect is a human right and if you are human, you deserve respect and have to respect others!
I have learned a lot from diverse perspectives going through all the questons of the week and i feel loaded with #Respect!
Yes I agree with you. Respect is a human right and everyone deserves that. :)