How I'm Overcoming One Of My Greatest Fears [ IFC Tie-Breaker ]

in #contest2 years ago (edited)

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I've shared it before multiple times how I have this irrational yet strong fear that no matter what I do or how hard I try in life, I'll still someday end up dying alone in the middle of nowhere without anyone even knowing.

This fear has haunted me for quite some time now and I never felt comfortable talking about it to anyone because I thought I'd be shamed for believing in something that's most likely never going to happen.

It's only recently that I've started to be more honest about how I feel about certain things and how my life has been. This fear, however, was one of those things that kept me from revealing much about myself to anyone.

This fear led me to believe that earning loads and loads of money is the only guaranteed way to try to avoid it from becoming a reality, but eventually, what came out of this fear wasn't a nightmare but a lesson that I'll carry for the rest of my life.


One Step At A Time


For almost my entire teen life, I have been really insecure and indecisive about what I want to become and what I want out of life. It sounds easy enough, I know, but it was way worse.

It got to a point where I was having doubts that I'll have to do some minimum wage work for the rest of my life because I thought I had no skills and it's better to just accept that I'll never be able to do something I love for a living.

But then Steemit helped me put that thought away. For the first time in my life, I was earning (though very little) by doing something that I actually loved. Then after a year, this past May, I got my first job and things started to get even better.

I began to feel much more confident about myself and about my skills. I was seeing my work making real-life influence right in front of my eyes. It was something else, I gotta say. As of right now though, I've already quit that job and found and even better one!

It all happened so fast that it still leaves me shocked sometimes knowing that things fortunately turned out okay even if I had no control on them. I guess it all taught me how we all need to take one step at a time.


You'll Get There


What's interesting is that I think this fear of mine has also made me a good negotiator. Whenever I'm discussing salaries in an interview, a part of me that is fueled by my fear, kicks in and somehow makes me so passionate that I am able to show how right I am for the job.

I become stubborn and I don't accept a salary lower than what I had initially planned. Even though it means that I might have to face some rejections first, I still think it's worth it.

I've seen this pattern repeat multiple times in my life. My existential crisis was the reason I began to love my life and be grateful for what I have. My fear of failure was the reason I began to be proud of my achievements.

I know all of this might not be making sense to some of you, but this pattern has repeated so often in my life that I honestly don't think it's a mere coincidence. I think fear and love are strongly connected with each other.

If I wasn't willing to overcome my fear, I would've never given so many interviews and would've never had my first job offered to me. It was my stubbornness to get rid of my fear that led me to love what I do today. I don't know about you, but that's the definition of growth for me.


Just Keep Walking


I know I'm still a long way from calling myself a successful person, but the more I learn about the real world, the more I realize that demeaning your own achievements only slows down your growth.

It's important to keep focus, surely, but it's also important to be proud of whatever you've been able to do so far. Pushing yourself is good, but not to a point where you begin to feel like your achievements are worthless.

I need to teach myself to take pride from my successes just as much as I berate myself for my fears and failures. This complicated relationship that I have with my fear is surely something that will take years to understand, but as long as it works, I'm up for it.

If there's one thing that I want you to learn from this article, it's this:

Know that every single feeling you experience, even if it's something as horrible as fear, is trying to work for you. Fear is a sign that there's opportunity to become more brave. Just like how love is a sign that there is opportunity to be happier in life.

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But then Steemit helped me put that thought away. For the first time in my life, I was earning (though very little) by doing something that I actually loved.

Steemit is a way to hone your skills as a writer, and make a judgement as to what direction you may wish to take (subject matter) in the future.

Indeed. Part of the reason why I began to love Steemit is because of the contests that you used to organize. I know I mention it a lot but man, it feels like it was ages ago! I surely do miss participating in them, and though I've found a substitute contest series (the @IFC), I still sometimes wish that you'll kickstart your contests once again.

But hey, things work out in mysterious ways and you never know what tomorrow could bring. I hope everything is good on your side buddy :)

Part of the reason why I began to love Steemit is because of the contests that you used to organize. I know I mention it a lot but man, it feels like it was ages ago!

It does feel like a long time ago for me as well, sometimes. One day I might do a contest sponsoring once again for quality minded writers :~)

Things are fine with me @ayushjalan hope the same applies with you.

That's so awesome!! :D I'm soooo looking forward to it if you actually do it. I wonder what you'll come up with. Whatever you do, I'm pretty sure you'll come up with something great :)

Aaaww, I do feel that too! In my case, if I am good enough for the hard path that I have chosen. But glad to hear you're overcoming it! I remember when I first came across your post lol, I am really impressed with your writing!

Fear is a sign that there's opportunity to become more brave. Just like how love is a sign that there is opportunity to be happier in life.

I LOVE THIS^

I guess irrational fears like mine are more common than I thought. It's good to know I'm not the only weirdo who thinks about this stuff, haha!

I'm glad you liked it and thank you so much for the compliment :) Much love! <3

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I've shared it before multiple times how I have this irrational yet strong fear that no matter what I do or how hard I try in life, I'll still someday end up dying alone in the middle of nowhere without anyone even knowing.

Sorry to hear that, though I can relate and have felt similar at times and still believe that's how I may end up. I guess there can be something sort of peaceful about it, if you can get past the intial fear of such, and realize how many other people have passed in that manner and how life sort of just goes on without us and that we're here for this small little blip of time trying to fit into this strange existence called life. Yet whether we die alone and no one knows or we're surrounded by a bunch of friendly faces in our home.. I think we all go to the same place, where ever that is.. I don't really think some people go to heaven or hell or different places like that, I mean I guess it's possible, though I doubt it. I think we probably all just sort of merge back into the "one", the global or collective un/consciousness. Maybe it's something similar to the dreamworld where we go when we sleep. I tend to think that sounds most reasonable, but hey who knows.. Maybe we reincarnate or something else entirely happens. I admit I don't know.

I like what you said about how fear serves a purpose to help us, I think that part probably stuck out to me the most. I don't think fear is bad like many people seem to, however it certainly can become out of balance like almost anything.. Yet.. If we're able to look at our fears in a way that is more cognizant of the possibility that fears are here to help us then I think we're much less likely to go out of balance in regards to such!

That's a wise lesson to consider and contemplate.. It makes me a bit less fearful in paralyzing sorts of ways when I think that fear is there to help me. :) Then the fear becomes more energizing and empowering and I think that's generally a good or positivbe thing!

Maybe all these sorts of exitential fears I've been dealing with, or.. At least a good portion of them are there to help, maybe even all of them are.. And in that light it's certainly a bit less crippling! Maybe I can use that knowledge or potential to sort of kickstart myself into more productive and constructive action. Hmmm... Definitely something to ponder over and think about more!

Know that every single feeling you experience, even if it's something as horrible as fear, is trying to work for you. Fear is a sign that there's opportunity to become more brave. Just like how love is a sign that there is opportunity to be happier in life.

Love is a sign that there is an opportunity to be happier in life? Never really heard it phrased that way before. But.. It makes a good amount of sense and I can vibe with that.. I think it may be a bit deeper, though maybe it's not.. Maybe love is just a sign of an opportunity to be happier in life.. Hmm.. Going to have to think about that one more too! Heh.

This was a very thought provoking read, thank you for sharing it and for sharing what one of your fears was. I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability you have expressed and the information you present. It seems like I almost always learn something really deep and interesting from your posts! You're a great writer and wise for your age, or any age really. Though sometimes people live their whole lives and never learn some of the deep kind of stuff you have. Seems like you're on a good path and I hope things continue to pick up for you and that you leave a great legacy behind. :) Peace, all the best to you and.. Excellent entry!

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