I experienced some intense emotions the night of day 2. I experienced unsettlement within myself where it's like my nerves were on edge. I faced a point of desperation within myself. There was this part of me that I've allowed to be at the whim of my emotion/feeling pull and push. Like this point of willing to justify anything that is pushing on my nerves hard enough.
This intensity I experienced in the evening - I didn't really react to it so much as I just embraced it and welcomed the point....this supported me with going deeper into much introspection.
There really was a lot of intense moments that came out of it.
Showcased to me that yes cigarettes have been a serious soother for me....to calm my nerves.
Showcased to me that I've placed comfort and dependence upon smoking as a way to deal with the discomforts that arise in me based on my thinking.
Showcased to me that I've massively discounted my self-worth.
Points of care taking support to accommodate me in letting go of smoking and walking the 21 day process:
I had my green drink
I went for a couple of walks.
I rode my bicycle for an hour.
I had an Epsom Salt Bath last night.
pushups, squats, stretching
I went to bed a bit earlier (for me)...created some quiet time before sleep to digest all of the day and the changes I made within myself. Woke up way earlier today without any effort. Was stoked to begin my day even earlier :)
Friendly engagement with my neighbors.
I made a vlog this morning and talked about some of the intensity from the night before. A point that came through for me was specifically, Self-Vulnerability . For me, this is a point of self-exposure...seeing everything of yourself. A willingness to look at the things within yourself that are most unpleasant...and even disturbing.
The video log itself was a point of self-vulnerability for me as I had resistance to making the video this morning and just talking about what I went through the night before. It was shameful for me to see that I've had such suppression within myself...and that cigarettes in a lot of ways have been a soother and a comfort stick for me to avoid getting real about the shit beneath the surface within myself.
KEEP IT AWESOME
CHEERS TO NEW BEGINNINGS AND BEST REGARDS
Decentralized Media Broadcasting is the Future - Sharing Because You Want to
- What I like about this social experiment, is the fact that it's success is directly dependent on ordinary people everywhere - where there's a willingness to say,
"Yes - I accept a weekly payment for being a human being to cover my basic costs of Existing Here."