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SELF-WORTH

in ulog •  4 months ago

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I've had a huge block in practically living my Self-Worth

I've always abdicated my personal responsibility.

The uncomfortable emotions I've experienced...in a way I've always felt these difficult moments and challenging times were done to me. And that I got to get out of this experience of myself. This sadness, this sorrow, this hurt, this heartache...this frustration....this irritations...this unsettlement.

I never really considered how it's always been me. Me doing it to me.

Fairly recently ...I reached this realization on me doing my own heartache to me....but I didn't realize there was a point in there where I was still holding onto a want and a need for another's approval.

I couldn't see that I was holding onto discomfort within myself...that I wasn't 100% at ease...there was a point of blame in me and expectations upon another individual where it's like I wanted an apology of sorts. I wanted to be consoled.

I wasn't 100% owning my shit.

I was reacting to my discomforts in relation to this other individual. It's like I wanted them to give me the solace I wasn't willing to give myself.

I couldn't see for a long while that I was wanting to be soothed for my emotional discomforts within my heartache, sadness, and sorrow.

I wasn't fully owning my discomfort.

There was a part of me suppressed within inadequacy and inferiority. A part of me that I accepted as just not good enough....that I've been excluded...I'm not included.....someone I like isn't giving me the attention I want.

These are things I've guarded myself from seeing - It hurt me to even see these things...and it took much effort to get here.

I had deluded myself into thinking I was better than I was. It's really quite shameful to pump yourself up and make up a narrative in your mind that your like this superior being...it's total bullshit. The consequence of existing as the delusional character is that it's very difficult to help yourself....it's difficult to hear anyone or anything because there's a form of self-denial existent here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself within and as the delusional character that thinks of themselves as better than they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding my own self-denial.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself solace.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that solace only exists outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted hearing much guidance and support in my environments over the years because I couldn't handle the discomfort I was experiencing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my self-worth to be suppressed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from my self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself throughout my life time within and as the suppression of my self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've victimized my self-worth within the emotional experiences of myself. I realize and understand that who I really am is not my emotions...but it is in fact necessary to face my emotions and let them go....forgiving myself for what I have accepted and allowed to be done to myself.

When and as I see myself placing stock in another individual to fulfil me in someway...and or make me feel better, I stop and breathe - I realize I am the starting point of my own well being and that I am dependent upon me to provide the best care for myself. I realize additional support can be given...but it is not a prerequisite for my well being. And in fact I make a point of living my independence in taking care of myself. I realize my freedom of expression exists in how I take care of myself.

I realize and understand that my self-worth is a point of my independence.

I commit myself to living my self-worth as how I care for myself on a daily basis.

I commit myself to providing myself the best care.

I realize and understand that how I love myself is by doing the work needed to be done for myself....doing all the little things for me that make a big difference in giving myself the best care.

CHEERS TO NEW BEGINNINGS AND BEST REGARDS

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Hey nice to see you...

Your writting. so thoughtfull..dear...thank you so much for sharing...with us...

This is amazing but we need to master in these things.

you will create the difference with your work and will inspire others along this journey

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thanks for the warm words as always

this song came up for me - it's definitely worth repeating :)

This is a great read for someone who's experiencing heartbreak like me... : )

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best regards dude!

A biggie for me was sourcing back this experience of heartache...to my early childhood...and it being associated with me being devastated in things not going my way...things not working out....for me it was my emotional bullshit I was holding onto and was making it out like I needed someone else to soothe it....or only once they were gone...I was in fomo...fear of missing out....not having that soother anymore.

Life is all about challenges and surprises.
Universe surprises our with different different things,emotions.
Universe want to see that how we can deal with it.
So work in a right way and correct time is so much important @worldclassplayer.

Thanks for sharing.

Upvoted,
Resteemed your post.

Always have faith and nothing will stop you from being the best @worldclassplayer

I can see myself in this post. Life has made me bliv that am not good enough for anyone. I'm living a life of hopelessness bcos I can't find that person that truly love and value me just the way I am. I've tried all my best to please anyone I come in contact with all to no avail. Maybe the best thing to do is to start loving myself more. Thatnks 4 the post.

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You got it - That's it 100%

What I noticed about myself is that in a way I would be pushing people away because I wasn't really loving myself all that well...

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From your post i've decided to stop making others my priority when in their minds I'm just an option.

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awesome dude!

Amazing post and I loved it.😍💙
I really inspired from you.
Nice content
Very well articulated.
I appreciate all your efforts.

Following you.

Thanks @worldclassplayer for sharing this post.

Upvoted + resteemed your post.

Know yourself, know what you are capable of. . don't be a myopic..

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Thank You :)

Myopic is a word I am not so familiar with - thank you for sharing that.

Oh my...you’ve seen through your ego drama. This is huge! I’m my experience old habits die hard, so the shame, not good enough and looking to others to save you or fulfill you will pop back up. But, now that you’ve seen through it once that clarity will happen faster and faster each time.

What a great post. I’m happy for you and that people like you are here on steemit.

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Heyyyyyy!

Super Cool to connect with you!

Beautiful writing here. I feel you.
Almost like you are speaking every word I wished I could say. I don't know how and don't want to explain. But reading it already felt like I was able to vent out. Thank you.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!

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It's great you're willing to have these uncomfortable feelings and being forgiving of yourself. This will help you move towards what matters to you. More power to you.

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thank you for the words of encouragement it means a lot.

You know how some days you just NEED to be reminded of certain truths? Well, today was that day for me. Thank you for reminding me:

I realize and understand that how I love myself is by doing the work needed to be done for myself....doing all the little things for me that make a big difference in giving myself the best care.

XXXOOO ~T

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awesomeness!

the very best of regards!

This is nice writing about yourself
if everyone will like to you the world would be a peaceful place
thanks for your nice post

the article is indeed touching. Most a times we have to be ourselves and never imitate anyone

great writing

Great post!
Thanks for tasting the eden!

Cheers!!!!

CHEERS TO NEW BEGINNINGS

Thanks for sharing.
Wholeheartedly, I appreciate this.

It is so relatable to me as well. All these while I've been pushing those who wanted to help me out away. I kept having the thoughts of doing stuff on my own because I believe that I can be on my own when no one is there to help me. But soon I realized that, I can't always depend on myself. And so I'm slowly learning to let them in. Thank you so much for the wonderful post

thanks for such a good post