How people unconscious get a crush and how does differ from true love

in #psychology4 years ago

For better understanding it is important to know the REI theory. REI theory is first formula which easy explains numerous human situations and behaviours and has its very own working principle of ways to desired outcome - no matter if it goes for happiness, true love, self confidence, courage or any other psychological related issue. Topics can be found here.

Every relationship starts with a crush, which takes from 6-12 months, with people having a crush (or being in love, if you prefer) for the first time, up to a few years.

When we first time experience a crush (being in love), we believe that this was love, but this is not true. We were only in state when we lost our objectivism and agree with more claims, even the one that we won't accept as normal, feel more optimistic, our stomach just want to explode out of butterflies, and generally do things that our character won't even come close under normal functioning (not having crush). This is first state of relationship and has nothing to do with real love. This is the state that our mind is using to fool us, about the attributes of a person that we fall in love with. Everyone knows that we cannot have a crush on everyone, but at some certain people. This is because our subconscious recognise the opposite character of our own. To us this seems like we have found our dream partner. The subconscious then stopped oppose to our conscious, and that is the feeling that we feel, when we are in love or having a crush. This also means that we can be in love with opposite character, but only under impact of all the chemistry hormones that are released when we find a suitable character, and explains why we cannot have a crush with friends that we hang out a lot (not exclusively). The friends thinks the same as we and therefore our subconscious does not recognise someone suitable.

The biggest lie, that we believe on the first place here is, that this feeling was created with person that steps in our life. But this is not true. This feeling was generated only in ourselves. Because we have a "anima" about our ideal partner, those "anima" now maps to this person that we are in love with. Suddenly we see him as a perfect person, there is no problem with acnes or teeth, we easily overcome any defect or any imperfection, because our mind believes only in anima. This is our own greatest lie on all the planet. But because every human character (subconscious + conscious) prefers hanging out with the same character, we are now having a crush (are in love), with the opposite character. This is because only imperfection can make perfection and this is why merging two totally different characters together, can create true love.

But for merging two opposite world, we have to have a lot of self respect, self accepting, self promotion, should not wear any masks and I just started. The same goes for the partner that we are in love with. The problem of course today is, that we have a lot of expectations, meanings, ideals, norms, what is wrong and what is right. The globalism of information only help us, to determine what is "in this world acceptable and what is not". Let say for example: girl, who loves Apple brand, is hardly to see using Android device. When she falls in love with boy who uses Android device, she easily overcome her own meaning about cell phones. But when crush starts to fade, she sees more and more, the real picture of the boy she falls in love with. Then some day she say to him, that he has changed, that he behave different, that has different taste, and so on. The problem here is, that she changed. Her crush started to fade after a few months and everything that she has meaning about, not matter what this is - car, fashion, how to be dressed, how to look, how to behave, what religion to believe, how should nails look, what type of shoes she love, if she tries to experience "the love" feelings that are represented in movies and any of her millions meanings that she created in her life - everything creates fight between subconscious and conscious in her own mind. This feels as nothing has anymore any value, she feels empty inside, no music, nothing has any feeling anymore. This is called depression. Depression is opposite psychological state of being in love (having a crush).

Being in love (having a crush), starts first time that we saw the person, but we don't yet see her / him as a "perfect person". The meaning that we have about everything in our life and we hardly accept different meanings contribute to power of those feeling, when we are in love (having a crush). The more we enthronement our meanings, believes and perception that it should be as we see it, the more powerful will be the feeling to someone else in state of being in love (having a crush). Thereby, when we will return to our normal state after a few months, this goes the same for power of depression that we will feel. The individual that accepts himself, understand that nobody is perfect, that ideals that our modern world has convinced us what everything should we have, how should we behave, that we should do the same as goes for majority of others, are not our own, but some common acceptable rules, the one will more easy accept the inequality and difference. The individual that accepts and do not judge others by its own world, does not create masks on him, he can always listen to everyone and never will get deviant feeling about others. He understand that everyone lives in his own world and everyone has his own opinions about the world. When we talk about the same thing, everyone has it's own meaning, but to us only seems that we talk about the same thing. The perfection is in accepting imperfection and equality in accepting inequality.

True love can also begin without being in love (having a crush). It can be so spontaneous. The most true love that we today experience is motherly love to his child. This role starts with accepting himself because this is what we see in the child. The more acceptable the parents are, the more will they go well with their children. But this test parents get, when their children starts to grow up - around puberty, when he or she starts to think with his own head. True love therefore can exist between two totally different worlds (persons), which on the first place accept himself and on the second place accept each other - without a masks!

Our society through REI model
Explanation of Depression with REI theory
Subconscious actions cannot be explained by ourselves
Parenting through REI theory - indirectly
How to find the right partner
How does Reason (todays monetary system) takes advantage over Instinct and Emotion
Expressing affection - each mind do it on his own way
At which profession is individual mind successful
Educational system through REI theory and how can it be equitable for everyone
Read how REI theory addresses individuals behaving
Read how REI theory as first psychological theory eliminates Dyslexia
Read what is the primary mission of REI theory
Read how Instinct, Emotion and Reason were evolved
Read about important attributes of the REI minds
Read description of Theory REI
Read introduction of Theory REI

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