Expressing affection, each mind do it on his own way!

For better understanding it is important to know the REI theory. REI theory is first formula which easy explains numerous human situations and behaviours and has its very own working principle of ways to desired outcome - no matter if it goes for happiness, true love, self confidence, courage or any other psychological related issue. Topics can be found here.

Today I would like to talk about expressing affection of individual mind. As we know already from the previous writing, every human is possessing one of the 13 different ways of thinking from the REI theory. The way of thinking represents his very own character, which is established at the time of puberty, and stays for the rest of the life, the same. We have already learned that there are 4 main groups of thinking. The first group is the group of people who think mainly with Reason and are their Emotion and Instinct in the subordinate role. The second group is mainly thinking with Emotion and are their Instinct and Reason in subordinate role. The third group are people mainly thinking with Instinct and by those people are Emotion and Reason in subordinate role. The last group are people who are having two minds equally developed and the third one is in the background. The character represents all of the three minds in one of their constellation, resulting together.

The group that thinks with Emotion consist out of 75% (approximately) men, and 25% (approximately) women. The Instincts group however consist right out of the opposite; the 75% (approximately) women and 25% (approximately) men. Why am I writing approximately? Because if you have a group of 100 men, you could find between them 25 those who think like women (Instinct). And in the group of 100 women, you can find 25 those who think like men (Emotion). The number can change of course if we make a tests in a different nation where is one mind more spread, than other, but in basic those numbers are approximate score. The second thing - that are also men behaving like women and women like men - is only in interest to our mind in lead of our society. That is Reason, which one tries to transform men into women and women into men. This is his mechanism which allows him, to get rid all of the remaining Emotion values - which were the values dominating before Reason values. But this is the story for some next topic. We have to be aware that we are divided into characters, not gender. There will always be men who will think and behave like women, and in the opposite site, there will always exist women who think and behave like men. How else would we have women in sport and men in cooking ;) ?

When I write Reason, or Reason thinking or “think with Reason” I mean the people from the above mentioned first group. You must be clear that every human no matter which language he/she speaks or what nationality he/she is, they possesses all the same three processors. That goes for all of the people on this planet. The same goes for the Emotion and Instinct group. When I write world, I mean the world of this character and how he/she perceive the world around himself/herself; meaning how is his own character describing him/her the world around, regarding the self-acceptance or abstinence.

Let me get straight to the topic now. Every mind has his own way of expressing his affection to loved one or to others. But between all three minds come often to the misunderstanding about the same thing. All three can express, with the same thing, their affection to the other world (human with different character), in a completely different way. In doing so, it comes to misunderstanding, which is not the result of expectation but simple misunderstanding in expressing. When it goes for expressing the affection, all three are having, each one, his very own way. The way which brought us frequently to unnecessary misunderstanding. Those from you who understand the REI theory very well, would also know that there will be 3 main category. For each mind his own.

Reason
Reason is expressing his affection on the first place with words, favors and gifts, when the gifts have material meaning. Reason is very concrete with his expression and uses very specific definition for a different type of affection. What Reason wants to say, he says. But we have to distinguish, because he alone does not know the feelings, and therefore sometimes he describes also what he perceive also from other two minds. The one who think with Reason are for others very cold, but as written before, he is not having only Reason, but also Emotion and Instinct. Reason also have not need for repeating the same message, because for him “once said – it is until further arranged”. Because Reason is the only one who perceive the time as timeline, he have no need for repeating himself in the short time again, as we can see this often with Emotion and Instinct.

Emotion
Emotion expresses his affection with the looks, touch and physical closeness. This mind does not need words, for him it is enough one look from which he inferred everything what is for him important. Emotion is very accurate and he recognizes the signals very correctly. The problems occurs, when is he trying to gave the aware meaning to those “looks”, because this includes Reason. Emotion does not interpret the meanings wrong, but the problem is that we do not understand how our Emotion has understood something. The second affection that comes from Emotion is touching and getting close to the others, which is background meaning of instigating for the sexual intercourse. The Emotion can also express his affection with the gifts, but those are having more symbolic meaning and not as much material (Reasons way). Some of the gifts are having also two meanings and as expressing affection those are especially desirable. For example, valuable Jewelry, which with his esthetic role expresses a symbol of decorating, of something that is beautiful, and also have a second meaning with material value: we have to spend some of our property.

Instinct
Instinct expresses his affection with attention, care and trust. For him it is affection even time, who is spent with the loved one or the time which is indirectly intended for loved one. Instinct in his concept of thinking already places others, before herself, but when he want to show the affection to others, he do that with sacrifice.

If we compare all of the minds, we see that are between their expression of affection so big differences, that the first one often does not recognize the message from the second one. In the relationship very often this leads to the dissatisfaction, because for the individual this means lack of proof that they are loved (let me remind you that those who are in abstinence from themselves (meaning they do not accept their house and world), are also craving more for these way of “love”).

Don't forget that people who fall in love or are having crush, are more likely to express affection to each other. But after those crush passes, the expression can get very rare or even none. This all can we thank to the modern society in which we cannot experience a true love anymore. For true love we have to combine two worlds of two people who (self) accept theirself on the first place and completely accept each other on second place. Then will also expressions stay or they will both understand that this is something that is not necessarily to experience true love.

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Read how REI theory addresses individuals behaving
Read how REI theory as first psychological theory eliminates Dyslexia
Read what is the primary mission of REI theory
Read how Instinct, Emotion and Reason were evolved
Read about important attributes of the REI minds
Read description of Theory REI
Read introduction of Theory REI