Zen and the Art of the Perfect Gift
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I came across a Reddit thread asking ladies what they really want for a holiday gift. Seriously, the most important advice: DO NOT I repeat do not buy her household appliances! Unless specifically asked for. The horror a man feels when he sees the look on her face when she opens her shiny new vacuum is unforgettable and oft warned against! But still, a guy sometimes finds himself in the appliance section because he remembers her swearing like a sailor at her antiquated vacuum that doesn't suck, and he feels he is doing her a solid. Trust me honey, a vacuum signifies cleaning. Nobody likes cleaning. The last thing she wants to think about is cleaning.
She will think of you every time she looks at or uses the gift.
Keep this in mind. Whether the present is good or bad, you will be remembered each and every time.
You might be drawn to giving something utilitarian and practical. Sometimes you can clearly see that she needs something- her precariously balanced iPhone on the towel rack demands a waterproof bluetooth speaker.
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A remote car starter would help her warm the car on freezing winter mornings and save her 20 minutes every morning.
PS. Time savers are always in style!
Sometimes you need to choose an item that is indulgent. Something that she won't buy for herself. The extravagantly overpriced Sephora makeup, a cashmere sweater, a certificate for an entire day at the spa.
Gift choosing can feel overwhelming. I have a few tricks up my sleeve to help take the pressure off so that you are sure to choose the very best present that will make her melt.
Helpful Tips
- Be her Santa, baby!
Listen. She will drop hints. Keep focused, and keep a list! Several long-married friends of mine keep a word doc they update whenever she drops a hint or you are shopping together and she lingers and Oohs and Ahs over something. If she stares longingly at something but does not purchase it, it probably is because she cannot justify the cost. It would make a great present :)
- Stalker, Much?
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If you're thinking jewelry, look at what she wears to determine if she likes silver or gold- most gals have a preference.
- Just Ask!
It might seem intimidating, but trust me, it's actually pretty sweet to ask her friends or family. When my bestie's boyfriend came to me and shyly confessed he had no idea what to get her, my heart melted! Here was a guy who would risk embarrassment to actually ask someone who has known his love longer than he. It is really sweet, and we will be very jealous of the girl for having such a thoughtful and considerate man. Yes, we do talk about you ;)
- Cost Doesn't Matter!
But the thought does. The thought process behind the gift is what gives it value.
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You can combine a couple- for instance if she loves books and the beach, find palm tree bookends and a booklamp in the shape of an ocean wave.
- Take the Price Tag off but Keep the Receipt
Remove the price tag- she does not need to know the cost. Be sure to leave the UPC code on, as well as keep the receipt just in case it needs to be returned or exchanged for a different size.
Add a little bit of you to the present.
When you go away for the weekend, slip off to find a trinket and put it away till Christmas, or any holiday. When she opens it she will be reminded of your romantic weekend together.
She fell for you, and all the little things that make you, well you! Are you musical? Write her a song. Writer? She'd love a heartfelt poem on nice paper in a beautiful frame. Make her a video montage of your photos together. Painter? Sculptor? Woodworker? You get the picture. These things are personal, unique, heartfelt, thoughtful, and will mean the world to her.
Have you talked about doing something together? Maybe you have discussed taking cooking classes, or going skydiving. Has she expressed an interest in ballroom dancing or ice skating? A gift certificate to something for the two of you is a no fail present. After all, the thing she wants most is to share time with you.
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Bonus: Stocking Stuffers
Here are a few ideas for inexpensive stocking stuffers she is sure to love.
- Socks. We can't resist cute and fuzzy soft socks!
- Scented candles
- Candy and chocolate- you can't go wrong
- Picture frame. Bonus: with a photo of the two of you
- Bamboo pillowcases- you always have the cool side of the pillow
- Gift cards to her favorite restaurant, beauty salon, cosmetics counter, etc.
- Divinely scented soaps
And if all else fails, just ask her for ideas. She will love the fact you care enough to give her something she will love.
What was the most thoughtful gift you ever received?
With Love and Light and Good Mojo to my Tribe!
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thanks would be small for your such a wonderful and informative post
:) Much appreciated!
Good suggestions here... fortunately, I have never had too much trouble finding and giving genuinely appreciated gifts; I know that traditionally guys are supposed to "hate shopping" but it has mostly not bothered me very much...
That is awesome! Yeah, some people are naturally good at gift giving. I once heard that those born under the zodiac sign Sagittarius are gifted gifters. I have known two, and they were, lol. But some people need a bit of guidance ;)
A bamboo pillow case sounds remarkably uncomfortable. I usually just give chocolates.
My bamboo thread sheets are the most silky and luxurious bedding I have ever had the pleasure of lying in! Seriously, next time you go to a department store, head to the bed section and compare the multi hundred thread count Egyptian cotton with the bamboo. You will be amazed! And, bamboo stays cooler than cotton :)
Ha, bamboo also attracts termites! lol
Do they like fine bamboo thread?
This post has received a 0.18 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
Or, you can do like I did and buy her a gift for life... I moved her to the tropics to be closer to her family. My shopping is no longer needed! HA
Lol! Yes, best present ever :)
My ex booked me a call girl who looked very much like Maryliyn Monroe once, as a surprise..... it was a very romantic gesture, and very thoughtful...
It took her weeks to find the right girl!
If you girls are ever stuck for ideas, and want to get your man something he will really enjoy....
.....Just sayin', don't hit me!
Oh I see, the real Santa Baby, aye?
it was for my birthday, silly! lol
I know. And this post was geared toward Christmas.
Lol
thank you @arbitrarykitten... many good suggestions to mull over. though perhaps every women would just want that stalker george clooney head. done... thats what ill get her. 😁
Hehehe good choice ;)
Most thoughtful present from my husband is giving me jewelries. A flower on my busy day at work.
Thats the best. Just knowing he's thinking of you :)
Great tips! I've decided not to give objects. Only experiences and gifts to use, eat or drink!
I like the experiences :) They are what is remembered the most after all :)
Indeed, my friend! And if you give experiences to the ones you love, then it's perfection. I usually make trips with my kids. That's my gifts to them... e to me ;)!
This is so funny, there must be something wrong with me haha!! My husband always gets me nice, thoughtful useless things for Christmas and I always try and remind him to get me either gift cards or practical items. I would so love a new vacuum because ours sucks...or doesn't suck...well you get the point! ;)
Lol no, there's nothing wrong with you ;) Well, on the typed blockchain surface anyway- from what I can gather. :P
Leave this page open so his eyes may fall upon this comment...
Get her a vacuum, man!
<3