50 WORD FICTION | The Hive
This is my entry for @jayna's 50 word writing competition (usually run by @miniature-tiger). The prompt this week is bark.
The Hive
Chaos rained down on the whole parade. Movements distracted all around. Was it always like this? Roger wasn't sure, but he looked around, allowing the veterans to lead. Quickly they devoured, as only ants could. The hive mind working as it always had in this hidden world, underneath the bark.
Photo by Bruno Ramos Lara on unsplash.com.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you liked it then please like, comment, and follow.
@naquoya
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Links to earlier works
- Fiction
My Fiction Writing Collection
Writing Myself Out of Existence
When the Levee Breaks
Reality Fading
Lessons Learned From a Dying Man - includes audio version.
Book Reviews
The Switch - Elmore Leonard
A Glitch In The World - Alex Drozd
All The Light We Cannot See - Anthony Doerr
Where Epics Fail - Yahia Lababidi
Hellbent - Gregg Hurwitz
1Q84 - Haruki Murakami
Soon - Lois Murphy
The Girl Who Played With Fire - Stieg Larsson
American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep - Philip K. Dick
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson
Altered Carbon - Richard Morgan
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Crooked God Machine - Autumn Christian
Audio Poetry
The Dance of Destiny and Fate
One Day, Just Not Today
I, for sure, thought you were writing about bees. Not to nitpick, but aren't ants more of a colony? In any case, it's good for Roger to break from the hivemind. Not sure about his long-term well-being, but I feel like having a mind of his own is always great.
Ants definitely have a hive mind. I suppose the word colony gets used to describe them also, but they a believed to operate on some form of unified consciousness. Although it seems someone forgot to tell that to Roger. Perhaps he learned to be an ant from watching Pixar films.
Okay, that is the most beautiful tree bark I have ever seen! Who knew it could be that artistic and... wavelike? Your 50-word story is really nice. I love how you reveal the ants and their whereabouts at the end.
I love the textures of different types of bark. A lot of them are like that in Australia. Thank you for reading and leaving your feedback. I've been struggling with longer form fiction of late, so perhaps this was an ideal platform to approach :)
I think it's great to shake it up. Sometimes we get too myopic or too... something (uptight?) when working hard at a craft, or a particular approach to a craft. If you can jar things loose with some exercises or different methods, it can really help.
Poetry has been doing that for me of late also. It is good to change focus every now and then. Thanks for the opportunity to share some creativity.
I like what you've done with 50 words here. It's actually a good story.
I've never noticed you before but I am @jeezzle. I'm a fiction writer. I write stories pretty much every single day.
My favorite author is Philip K. Dick.
I'm going to check out a few more of your posts because I'm always interested in meeting more people in the fiction community.
Well this is a first introduction both ways. That's why I started The Library (a curation post done once a week, for readers and writers), because there are so many other writers out there going unnoticed. So thank you for commenting and introducing yourself.
I do write fiction, but not so much of late. I have been doing a lot more journal type blog posts, and book reviews. And I too am a huge fan of PKD. I would still rate him as my favourite author. About to posy a review of Ubik later on.
I will follow you and keep in touch. Thanks.
I look forward to that review. Ubik is my very favorite book. I have followed you as well and I'll be checking out The Library to see what's in there.
Thanks for the support. I'll pay a visit your way when I get the chance.
I like the way you wrote this. It reminds me of Daphne de Maurier´s short story The Old Man which was really had to be read until the end and then revealed the true identity of the characters which had been the swan family... a real deception but so excellently written. Thanks for sharing! Resteemed/following you.
That's not a story I am familiar with, but sounds intriguing. I was hoping to build up a little uncertainty before explaining what was really going on. Not easy in 50 words, but glad you enjoyed it. Thank you :)
Yeah, you did great with this one... I 'm not a writer but simply a reader that enjoys such stories. The Old Man was part of a compilation of short stories of de Maurier's book called The Birds and Other Short Stories also available in pocket books. She is known to have written scary themes.
Thanks for introducing me to Daphne de Maurier, and for your kind feedback on my work :)
You´re welcome! Yes, I would recommend her books including the story The Birds from which Hitchcock based his film of the same title. Only difference is that De Maurier´s original version was more scary....hehehe
An ant becoming aware of individuality...for a brief period. Very clever analogy. (I think?) :)
There is always that one who wont merge into the hive mind. Roger!
It sounds so metaphorical at the beginning, yet ends so literal. Quite the twist, I must say. I liked it a lot.
And all that in 50 words. Glad you liked it :)
Great description, the image of a parade is perfect for the activity of a hive.
Thank you, I played around with word choice for a while, but got there in the end. 50 words is quite the challenge.
Nice work here @naquoya You created a tiny little world in 50 short words... Well done, looking forward to reading more..
Thank you, glad you could see this little emerging world. 50 words is not much, so it makes you choose your words carefully.
That's true, I like this format, I've entered 4 or 5 times now since I found Steemit... For this prompt, I too used the tree bark definition of the word, but had a different angle than yours..
Thanks for letting me know. I'll take a look at your story when I get a moment. Compare notes :)
Nicely done! I was first thinking "war" and then "oh, ants!" I'm new to fifty-word stories and I'm surprised how the mind can be led on a journey with just 50 words.
By the way, your username holds some significance for me. I have no idea what it means but it reminds me of Nagoya (Japan) where I lived for 2 years.
It can be tricky to get the words just right, but when they are it's amazing what you can create. I was happier with this one than other trials I have done.
The naquoya name is not related to Nagoya, but they do sound similar. It's just a name I came up with many years ago that sounded unique enough for internet use. How was life in Nagoya? Japan is a fascinating place.
Living in Nagoya was, ummm, interesting. There were ups and downs but Japan definitely is a fascinating place. I actually included a photo from Japan in my own attempt at a fifty-word story. I'm not really a writer but I enjoyed giving it a go. I had no idea fifty-word stories were even a thing.
I guess any word count could be a thing, if enough people were into it. To me its a way of working to a very small scale, whilst adhering to the fundamentals of good storytelling. It does need to be clear and edited well. But it's easy to manage than trying for 1000+ words every time.
Very cool take on the prompt, well done.
Thank you, glad you liked it.