What is the best way to move forward when faced with Dissension within your Community?
This question was put forward by @goldendawne and I am very grateful to her for coming up with such a important and somewhat challenging question, because it has forced us to explore how we would deal with any arguments within the tribe and opened it up so that we can all learn from one another and find out what is the best way to move forward.
Each Tribe member who did answer the question really helped to introduce something different and unique in the way that we should approach any disharmony and the way that it should be resolved. It is only in us coming together, in being respectful and open hearted can we move forward into a better place of understanding and learning.
Each disagreement we have with others, is an opportunity for learning, about ourselves and the world we live in. And if we are brave enough to approach that from a place of love, then we will receive huge insight, that will ultimately empower everyone within the community.
So what is Dissension?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary it is
arguments and disagreement, especially in an organization, group, political party, etc.:
and according to the Oxford Dictionary.
Disagreement that leads to discord.
Thank you, to all the Tribe members for sharing your wisdom with us and for opening the doors of discussion on ways that we can move forward and continue to move forward in our lives.
This is such an important question, because disagreements amongst family, friends, and work colleagues is something that happens every day, and can make or break relationships and even families. Its interesting to note that when we think about disagreements we are usually referring to ideas, concepts, or opinions that have originated from your mouth! That is to say that whilst it may seem that much of our conflicts are due to circumstantial events, meaning we did something, or that we have differences that clash.
We put the blame on the details of the situation rather than on the communication that happened before, during, and after the event.
@tribesteemup poses a question to the community at large every other week. Organized by @trucklife-family, these questions are meant to give us all an opportunity to look deeper in ourselves to ask some rather profound questions. This week's question is brought to us by @goldendawne, "What is the best way to move forward when faced with Dissension within your Community?" (I forgot to double check the question this morning and answered the question slightly differently, heh - lesson: always double check) Join me in today's episode where I discuss my thoughts on this question.
Remember that what you identity with as community is a limited form of a greater community and that you exist within a fractal multiverse and you are an unlimited being of inifinite dimensions and lives.
Remember that people make mistakes, and often relationships are not meant to last. If they are, just know... This Too Shall Pass
Resolve any conflict within yourself. Then share your Peace with your friends and all the good people.
Thinking about dissension... conflict... disagreements... or however you want to phrase it, first takes me back to when my three children were younger. All of them being born about two years apart, I had three kids under the age of six at home in the beginning of my youngest daughter's birth.
It didn't take long for them to have disputes... to argue... to drive me on the verge of craziness with their endless fighting... bickering... teasing and so much more.
They were, at the time, my community.
So how did I handle the daily conflicts that evolved within my home and community?
What is the best way to move forward when faced with Dissension within your Community?
No matter where we live or who we live around, we all can find dissension in our communities.
Dissension is defined as disagreement that leads to discord. Discord being a lack of harmony.
Dissension is like notes that don't sound good together on a musical scale. It inherently doesn't feel good. We want to get away from it, stop it, ignore it or fight against it. That's the initial impulse.
Yet, is there another way to think about it? Is there a way to, as the question asks, move foward in the face of dissension?
I decided to create a video for my answer to this week's @tribesteemup bi-weekly question. In the video, I discuss and demonstrate my most common method of dissolving dissension, discuss what I see as the best way to move forward from dissension, and was even able to throw a little joke with some truth in there.
The word that seemed to keep popping in my head was "learning", as I feel the most important way to move forward from any kind of dissension in communities, is by both sides learning some truth about the topic itself, and how to properly handle dissension better in the future. Please enjoy the explanation of my answer in this video - click pic below to play:
Within any community it is normal for members to disagree , to have different opinions and to have to face confrontation from time to time. We can all be very different in how we think, in how we act and how we live. But for any community to really work well, there needs be core principles put in place that are agreed upon by everyone and a clear understanding on how the community operates, so that everyone feels valued and appreciated. Once that is put in place, hopefully the community will not have to deal with much conflict or discord.
This question seems relevant for the entire of humanity at the moment as technology has made us all one global community whether we like it or not. The lessons of the microcosms also apply to the macrocosms and vice verse - dissent always pushes our buttons, whether it's with family, our children, our immediate colleagues or people on social media. When others speak or act in ways that conflict with our own values and opinions, it can be difficult to bite one's tongue or react calmly and thoughtfully - we're really, really quick to judge and fire up. We seem to find our identities threatened, and fight hard to asset them, even at the risk of hurting someone else.
People grow. People change. Sometimes so do values and priorities. In any size group (heck, even in marriage!!) there will be disagreements -- and issues you have to work out.
There must have been something in the air the other week. There were sure a couple of patterns "in the stars" that talked about turmoil and needing different arrangements. After the incident in TribeSteemUp, there was a dust up in The Alliance -- and another in The STEEM Engine, the Discord group I'm presently leading.
I was glad when things got back to normal in all of them. Quarreling and strife is not fun, even though it's a necessary and inevitable part of life.
While maintaining my own groups I've always considered it best to designate a conflict free zone where anything can be discussed without fear of violence.
Open discussion, by those involved, is the direct route to resolving the issue, if it can be resolved.
If members of the group wish to disengage that is their perogative.
If they wish to politic others out, that is also their perogative.
I've seen the backlash against the catty get pretty toxic in it's own right.
We separated the combatants and they agreed to a detente, but it wasn't long before the catty one was frozen out due to her continuous push on the group against the other.
We probably all know the feeling of having strong dissensions within our family, friends and work life. It is easy to give energy into these things as our ego usually starts to kick in and defend itself or its worldview. Some people go as far and break out of their groups and leave their old lives behind them. I have pretty much done so as my old life was mostly based on the Matrix programming from which I wanted to escape (even though I didn't see it like that back then).
From my perspective I have not left any of my previous groups, I have merely lowered or stopped any participation with them. And it is healing myself as I am surrounding myself now more and more with those people that I can learn from to achieve what I need to achieve in my life. I am now able to love all people from my old communities and be grateful for the path they all put me on.
Something we can't do away with is conflict. It's always going to be there no matter what state and stage of life we are in.
I still work for the corporation, teamwork is a keyword and if there is dissension going on, it isn't a pretty atmosphere.
How do we move forward?
Warning - Tigger Ahead
My reality is going to be different than your reality.
So when you're hearing other person's viewpoint, your viewpoint won't exactly match. You can be triggered.
So... how do we move forward?
Just looking at the definition of the word itself, the answer seems really clear & easy to me. When there is a disagreement between folks that is leading to dis-harmony, we simply sit down, drop in, really focus on being present together, and talk it out. Disagreements are ALWAYS going to come up, and personally I see them as an amazing opportunity for growth & learning for everyone involved. This is part of the reason that I focus so much on pushing for dialectic (rather than debates, especially), because anytime two (or more) humans have different viewpoints/beliefs, there is an opportunity for something new to come out of the synthesis of those two things.
I know what it is like to be on the fringes in groups, in social circles and it is down to lack of communication (on my part too) to say what I need, or whether that community is right for me and shares similar values.
I have major problems with many social circles in real life as I’m not so good with small talk. The playground talk is something I want no part of for the most part, as well it tends to be a gossip mill and I will walk away from that and have done.
I have found some good friends and people through going to self-improvement and craft groups and will continue to do that in the future too. I regularly go out with some friends that I have known for a couple of years, as it takes a little while to trust anyone.
The TribeSteemUp community, was created by @kennyskitchen. It is a Community Abundance Generator which supports authors who write articles that look at ways in which we can become more empowered and create a more peaceful and free world.The authors that were chosen to become part of the TribeSteemUp community are all writing content of high quality, which are based on the following topics:
| Community Empowerment | Love | Original Music | Esotericism |
| Healthy Recipes | Psychedelics | Truth | Permaculture |
The TribeSteemmUp community also has 8 Pillars/Principles that each member has agreed to adhere by and you can find The 8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp.
A big thank you to @hungryhustle for creating the amazing infographic of the 8 Pillars Of TribeSteemUp and For @eco-alex for creating the tribesteemup banner and logo.