Within any community it is normal for members to disagree , to have different opinions and to have to face confrontation from time to time. We can all be very different in how we think, in how we act and how we live. But for any community to really work well, there needs be core principles put in place that are agreed upon by everyone and a clear understanding on how the community operates, so that everyone feels valued and appreciated. Once that is put in place, hopefully the community will not have to deal with much conflict or discord.
But when dissension is present, when there is a strong disagreement, a strong conflict it, is very important that it is dealt with correctly. It is very important that no one feels alienated by what has occurred and that the way is paved for open dialogue between the community members, so that everything can be discussed. Everyone needs to be given the opportunity to speak and be heard without any fear of attack, it is vital that everyone feels that they have been listened to and heard without any interruptions. Everyone needs to be respected in their right to be heard. For this reason it is helpful to have some one act as a mediator, because emotions also run high when there is open conflict or discord.
It is important that we remember that although we do not agree with other people and we have every right not too, it is important to accept them for who they are. We have all walked different paths in our lives and we have been shaped by our experiences in life. Nothing is ever black or white and so many things colour the choices and decisions, we make, we have no idea what journey some one else has been on, or what has led them to think the way they think.
We have to remember to be tolerant, even if what we are hearing really upsets us, even if the other person or persons actions upset us. There is a reason why, this conflict has occurred , there is a reason why that person feels the way they feel. In remembering these things it can help to keep the communication open, non violent and respectful. Because it is so easy to become defensive and close off any understanding or willingness to listen.
We need to be patient and allow the person the time they need to talk about why they feel, why they said, or why the acted the way they did. I keep coming back to this point, but nothing is ever clear cut, we are never clear cut, we all carry our baggage, our stories and we are only seen as right if others agree with us. It really depends on what the community stands for.
It is so disrespectful to not listen to some one and to talk over them when they speak, because what they have to say matters, it matters to them and it matters to us so that we can learn and move forward.
Every conflict, ever disagreement, is an opportunity for learning.
It is an opportunity for us all to learn more about ourselves and the world we live in.
We get to experience other peoples perspectives, we do not need to agree with them, but it is important to see it and learn from it.
We are also given the opportunity to improve our communication skills, as we can identify the ways that we may have handled things differently or come up with a different approach.
Conflict is an opportunity to take us out of our comfort zone and think outside the box.
We need to be challenged in life, it gives us the opportunity to explore our own beliefs and our reasons for them. It can help to bring back passion for those things, help us remember what is really important.
If we faced no conflict we would not have to face our fire, our rage, which is such a powerful instigator for change.
Non Violent Communication, Respect, Acceptance and Patience are all needed in order to help the community move forward and with that comes the opportunity to learn and grow.
Thank you @goldendawne for putting forward this question for the Tribe