Steemit's Great Pretender

in #life5 years ago (edited)

They say that depression is rage turned inwards. So what's the solution? Turn it back onto the world? Get rid of it entirely?

If it were only that simple. Sometimes you learn things that you can't unlearn. Sure, you can take drugs to destroy your memory and slow down your logical mind. But that's not a long term solution and the side effects are not worth it.

So what do you do? Do you go berserk on any offending parties whose mere existence makes you feel like old school Vegeta? I'm not talking Columbine level shit here, but words can be harmful too. Why do you think people use them so much?

Why do people try to protect themselves from perceived harm anyway? What are you so afraid of?

You're not gonna die if someone hurts your feelings. So you wrote something that people didn't like. Maybe you got a few nasty comments by someone with a higher post count than you. Big deal.

Is a few seconds of anxiety after reading their comment really enough to prevent you from creating something that you will be proud to show people in the future?

You're willing to throw away your legacy because of a few haters who are too scared to clearly express themselves, so they try to bring YOU down?


Oh the irony


Besides, chances are that most of them are actual real-life losers anyway.

Don't believe me? Take a look next time you get some over-the-top negative criticism from someone. Are they actually someone whose opinion you would value in real life? Or are they just an angry, unaccomplished, hunchbacked creature who tries to pop your balloon because of their own uncontrollable self-hatred?

I wonder.

Really, what are you so afraid of?

Is it because you think that people will laugh at you? So what?

Of course they're going to laugh at you. You're a fucking joke. Look at you, pretending to be something that you're not. Obviously faking it. And even more insulting is that you're not even good at faking it. Do you really think they're dumb enough to fall for that shit? Please.

No, really though. So what?

Do you know how much effort it takes to learn a foreign language to fluency? You need to learn a new alphabet, new vocabulary, new sentence structure, tonality, accents - AND you need to learn it all well enough so that it all comes to you effortlessly when you want to use it.

How long do you think that takes? You don't think people are going to laugh at you for saying you love cock when you really meant to say pass the butter?

And don't give me this shit about "oh well actually all languages just use the same 600 words most of the time so you just have to learn those and you'll be fluent."


I mean yeah, that might be true, but that's not fluency. That's conversational. And that'll get you good enough so that people won't laugh at you all the time. They'll just laugh at you sometimes.

Fantasy, tragedy, and redemption

"Oh but who cares what people think, right @yallapapi? It's all about being yourself!"

Come on. The JBY meme is so played out. What is this, The Notebook?

Give me a break. Nobody wants you to be yourself. They want you to fulfill their darkest fantasies. They want to watch you do the things they don't have the guts to do.

They want to see you take a chance, to go from nobody to somebody and then get torn apart by a raging pack of hyenas after some Kevin Spacey-esque transgression is exposed.

But you know what? They still want to see you back again. We love redemption, because we secretly wish that we could redeem ourselves as well.

That is of course IF you have anything to be redeemed FROM in the first place.

Do you? Are you a bad person? Have you done bad things? Do you still do them?

What is "bad" anyway?

Dude, too philosophical. Keep it simple so the head injury victims don't get too confused. Your posts are at least the length of like, I don't know, 6 Twitter captions. People have shit to do. Those one-line comments and excruciatingly fungible Buzzfeed-esque SEO optimized trash articles aren't going to just write themselves. They can't be wasting time watching you fire a gun at your imaginary friend near 400 gallons of nitroglycerin. Time is money.

Please. These idiots wouldn't know money if it took a shit on their front door. Really, you want to take advice from people who unironically think the value of Steem is tied to the quality of the platform?

It's my body I'll do what I want

Too far off topic. Focus. JBY, remember?

Ah, right. Yeah, I mean... the problem with JBY is the same problem you have with making any argument: it's true and it isn't at the same time.

Yes, you want to "be yourself" but only insofar as that the conveyance of that authenticity is non-disgusting to normal people. But if your version of "authenticity" means being a 33-year old Uber-driving NEET with no goals or aspirations in life other than hitting 6k MMR in Dota, well then fuck you.

Sure, you can live how you want, blah blah blah.

But actually no you can't.

You know that's not the way to do it. That's why you hate yourself.

It's not that you don't like your life. It's actually probably pretty comfortable the way you've organized it. You're so far away from your fears, the things that give you those few awful seconds of anxiety, that you can navigate safely without worrying that you'll ever be pushed even slightly out of your comfort zone.

Shit, it's probably been so long that you don't even remember that there's a difference between your comfort zone and that scary place outside of it. If you're lucky, you'll still get little pangs of "oh shit what am I doing with my life" in between bong rips and episodes of Better Call Saul during your marathon Netflix binges.

If not, well then I don't know what to tell you. You're already dead.


Thanks for reading this, by the way. I wrote this for you, you know. Not because I want to help you. We all know I don't care about that. I wrote this because you're the only one who has time to read it. The Cool Kids are too busy being Cool. The Big Ballers are too busy Balling.

But you? Ha. Come on.

How many games of Dota have you played today?

How many shit articles on this god-forsaken trash heap of a poorly-coded centralized fake money mess have you "read" today.

How many worthless comments have you left in hopes that someone will notice that you're not a complete waste of human life?

Sorry Charlie, but you might be.

"Hey everyone, I just wanted all of you to know that I am actually the coolest person in the history of the human race. Or at least this website. Okay, maybe not the ENTIRE website, but DEFINITELY the comment section of this specific post. And I'm just writing this to let you all know that none of you will ever be better than me in any way, so don't even try. The best you could hope for is public acknowledgement of your existence from me. But don't hold your breath, I'm very busy."

Ugh, it's so sad, you know? Games stop being fun when you play on God Mode.

Sure, maybe for a few minutes. You get all the best guns and can overpower enemies that used to one-shot you like a Dark Souls protagonist.

But what's the fun in that? Where's the danger? Where's the risk? Why are you even wasting your time? Do you want to dunk on 7 year olds or are you looking for a challenge?

Yeah yeah, I know. Getting better requires effort. And it's scary to think that you're going to be bad at something after being a World Class Boring Life Liver for so long. The sad part is that it doesn't even matter how much you "want" or "need" to get better at whatever you suck at.

I know there's people who say it's all about skill, determination, hard work or whatever the current meta says is powerful. How much is their ebook again? (Mine's free by the way.)

Why pro athletes believe in God

You want to know the real secret? Just practice. That's all.

It's so simple, you know? Just go in and think to yourself, "I'm practicing. It doesn't matter if I suck, because this is just practice. This doesn't count."

Watch how you relax almost instantly. And not into the couch either. Into the real world where shit happens.

You know what sucks though? Even that little factoid probably won't help you. Shit, you probably even already knew that. I'm sure you've practiced something in your life, so how could you not have connected the dots by now?

And even though you see the big picture now, what good will that do you? You still need to pull your fat ass out of bed.

Nah, you're way too far gone by now. You've been dead a long time, brother. And Prince Charming isn't going to show up and give you a kiss any time soon.

Will you ever wake up?

Statistically speaking, probably not. Most people won't be ballers - but not because they can't. Anyone CAN. It's because they don't believe they can.

The belief is the hard part, not the actual work. You don't have a million dollars because you don't believe that you can pursue any sort of activity AND ENJOY THE PROCESS long enough for that to happen.

Who are you again?

Actually wait, I take it back. You don't really need to enjoy it.

You think I'm enjoying writing this piece of shit article? No. My fingers are tired, my neck hurts and I've listened to the same Ferry Corsten mix probably 100 times by now. I'd rather be on a beach somewhere soaking in the sun.

But no, here I am, writing some retarded ass shit that makes literally no sense. I mean fuck, this has no point whatsoever other than to feed my own selfish ego. I know when I click publish and transfer a few hundred fake internet dollars out of my account, some poor unsuspecting head injury victims will read it and wonder if I have prion disease.

But they will read it.

Or maybe they won't. Maybe they'll just scroll their mousewheel as fast as they can, check the top comment and leave a generic reinforcement of their own in hopes of being thrown a scrap or two so they don't have to eat out of the garbage tonight.

But someday, someone will read this. They won't know me like you know me, my sweet head injury victims. They'll find me from somewhere else and they won't know anything about upvote bots or Steem Power. They'll read this entire fucking thing and it will completely change their perception of who I am.

I'll know it the next time I talk to them, too. I can smell it on their breath. They might as well just tell me, you know? But they never do.

When we talk again they'll wonder, "Okay he said something that sounds borderline normal - but I wonder what he's REALLY thinking?"

And for some reason that's priceless to me. I'm sure I could figure out why if I thought about it, but I have a feeling that introspection on that level would force me to examine unbearable parts of my personality that I'd rather just ignore for now, let alone post them on the internet for everyone to see.

I mean Jesus, I have clients on this website now. Actual companies that are paying me non-fake US dollars to do work for them have operations running on this website where I am a well-known public figure. What the fuck am I even writing this for? Couldn't I just put this on a separate website or post it anonymously or something?

Nah. What's the fun in that?

You know, it's weird. I used to be so scared to publish anything about myself. I was always terrified that people I knew would read it and think that I'm some kind of wacko.

I am of course, and they probably already knew that anyway, but I was just worried that reading something like this would be undeniable proof that would make it virtually impossible to put the shit back in the horse.

But then I realized that it takes such a tremendous amount of work to get anyone to even know who you are in the first place (let alone give a shit about what you think), that you might as well do what you enjoy. And I don't know why, but I enjoy this.

Lucky you, huh?

RIP Anthony Bourdain

Maybe it's because I'm an old-ass 34 year old boomer, but I just stopped caring. And started posting. And posting. And posting some more.

And not that lovey-dovey shit either. I hate that. It's so fake. And I only like fake compliments when they're directed at me.

But these comments WEREN'T! They were on OTHER people's blogs, OTHER people's articles that were written about non-@yallapapi topics and were therefore absolutely awful in a 100% objective way.

I mean seriously, how many fucking Top 10 articles can you read without wanting to throw your laptop out the fucking window? Do you actually give two shits about some Mongolian crab-fishing village that uses their dial-up internet connection to shitpost to Steemit?

No. You don't.

And oh my god, if I have to read one more post speculating about the value of Steem, I may actually start looking for clocktowers.

Look you dumb shit motherfuckers, the value of Steem has nothing to do with how good the platform is (not very), how good the content on this site is (bad), or how many groundbreaking sidechains there are that work better than their non-blockchainified counterparts (none).

The value of Steem in inexorably tied to - get ready for it - the value of Bitcoin.

It's very simple: Bitcoin goes up, Steem goes up. Bitcoin goes down, Steem goes down.

You can replace Steem with literally any other coin and the same statement will be true.

Off topic again. Bring it back baby, bring it back...

Fuck that. I'm tired now. I really shouldn't publish this. It's so bad.

I don't even want to edit it, because that means I'm going to have to read it over again like 6 times and be constantly reminded that it's awful. I can't even write this one off as practice either. I mean I could, but what am I practicing here exactly? My typing speed?

Actually now that I think about it, maybe this is worth publishing. I wrote it all as it came into my mind. Besides, people will see the triple/quadruple digits at the bottom of this train wreck and assume it has inherent value. And that's if they even bother to read it.

Sure, I deleted most of the suicide jokes out of respect for Anthony Bourdain, but other than that, these are all 100% Original @YallaPapi Thoughts. This is what I really think. I think. Doesn't that mean it's good or something? I already forget. Plz upvote sir.

Do you...? Oh fuck it I don't even care.

Just leave a comment.

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Holy shit you can write a lot of words, I’m 1/4 the way through (I think) your article it’s about what to give a shit about and I thought of a saying I learned as a kid, I learned this again through my studies with a Korean Buddhist monk; “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” I saw how empty words are in whilst at a 10 day silent vipassana meditation retreat. I saw what was hurting me was my reaction to words and the feelings and old habits were as empty as words, in fact they all turned into lights and pleasant sensations after my habitual reactions disappeared. My depression (ptsd), panic attacks, and night terrors I suffered from since childhood disappeared for good too...

I still get my feelings hurt and I’m careful not to hurt other people’s feelings because they are clueless regarding this kind of emptiness, but my hurt feelings only last a few hours at the most rather than years.

Edit, being careful with other people’s feelings only goes so far though, I do have a line that is drawn in can shift depending on the moon and circumstances

Second edit, I read all your article, it’s about the same as your others but I like your idea about practice and going into the unknown, I’m about to learn some new skills in the fleshy world and make some fiat currency. I’m scared and excited, that’s a nice feeling.

This post has received a 13.27 % upvote from @boomerang.

yes u make right comment for this post

May be he is crypto freek😂

We all are freaks in one way or another @rishi007

Holy shit you can write a lot of words

I actually chose to cut this one short to make it more readable. I was just getting started.

I saw how empty words are in whilst at a 10 day silent vipassana meditation retreat

Words are not empty, they are very powerful. I think what you mean is that you were using words that were disempowering, and by committing to silence for 10 days you were able to overwrite some of the negative patterns with some positive ones.

Second edit, I read all your article, it’s about the same as your others but I like your idea about practice and going into the unknown, I’m about to learn some new skills in the fleshy world and make some fiat currency. I’m scared and excited, that’s a nice feeling.

Thanks. Good luck.

Dear @yallapapi,

Words are empty because they cannot break your bones like sticks and stones. You are the one to give words power, written or spoken through how you react, the ears or eyes care not what they record. Just like a recorder records words does not care what it records, same with paper. In many ways, writing is like casting a spell, if I don't believe in your spell it cannot hurt me. Only sticks and stones can hurt this body, and my mind is protected no matter what happens because I understand the body is not me and words are as empty as the feelings they provoke. You are correct my coding has been overwritten and erased, I am no longer a slave to old conditioning and blind reactions to sense data. This is common sense, which seems to be uncommon now-in-days.

Although I have some reserved respect for Manny as an athlete - not to mention he has a big heart for his fellow human beings - and all those global recognition in the world of sports he brought back home.

Still, no amount of fame and glory justifies his severely flawed mindset toward God and/or religion. He may have possessed some kind of superhuman boxing abilities, his rational thought, however, remains primitive in my book.

Also, I've checked on some of your Medium articles. You're really fond of writing book in a single pose similar to my friend @jerrybanfield. WTF bruh?! Yo, no received a single clap on most of your Medium posts for more than a year ago until now?

I guess I get this already. @yallapapi was so upset by that soul-crushing experience. There must be a valid reason why @yallapapi is migrating to Steemit to make his hard work great again.

This post has received a 9.94 % upvote from @boomerang.

Superb comment

The point is that achieving unrealistic goals requires faith that you will achieve them even if they’re far beyond what you consider yourself capable of doing. The most common area where faith is required is religion.

Think of it like this: religious people train their “faith muscle” regularly, which predisposes them to greater success as long as they choose appropriate goals.

I used pro athletes as an example because to become a professional athlete, let alone a champion like Manny, you need to believe that you will eventually make it. Logically speaking, it’s completely unrealistic that anyone would think they’d be a champion because the odds are so low.

Therefore, only people with a strong enough “faith muscle” have the potential to make it that far because of the inevitable challenges and setbacks that will happen along the way. Without being accustomed to using the power of belief, you’ll be bogged down with “reality” and are more likely to give up.

Hence, pro athletes are more likely to be religious. Especially champions. Super bowl winners, elite fighters, basketball heroes... all of them believe in God. Does that mean god is real and we should all be religious? Not necessarily. But you have to exercise your faith muscle regularly by believing in unprovable things. If you can think of a nonreligious way to do that, then I’m sure the world would reward you handsomely.

Lol @yallapapi heart is a dark pit of darkness, sometimes :) maybe this time. We, the appreciators of your intellectual sadism are here because it is preferable to the absurd, duplicitous cacophony of the outer dark. Greetings from Commie-Fornia.

This post has received a 7.46 % upvote from @boomerang.

Yes this is very inspiarable article very impotant article in my life

“I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

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Nice article!

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Need day to read it :P

Its better to be true to yourself and stop pretending to be some else in which you are slowly destroying yourself.

Good content about psychology


“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman

@yallapapi Being called a pretender when you are being you is a very difficult situation. You may feel like hitting the person hard in the face! But just let them be with their idiotic mindsets and keep calm. I have myself been through this many a times and undergo it almost everyday.

@yallapapi Being called a pretender when you are being you is a very difficult situation. You may feel like hitting the person hard in the face! But just let them be with their idiotic mindsets and keep calm. I have myself been through this many a times and undergo it almost everyday.

What's the quote? "If nobody hates you, then nobody loves you either." I love my haters.

Richard P. Feynman

Bonus points for quoting Feynman.

a lot of good points are made here and the experience is pretty universal.
however, I do not think we should be focused too much on what people will think of us, accept the fact that none of us are perfect and we all fuck up in major ways that will make most of our relatives want to disown us.
the important question is: how can we take what we learned and make the world a better place for the next person to come along.

accept the fact that none of us are perfect

I disagree. Pressure makes diamonds.

Tiger moms make overachieving Asian kids who dominate test scores, overpopulate the best universities, create successful businesses or go into high-paying professions. There is always constant pressure to be perfect, to do better. Nothing is good enough.

It may create some mental problems later on, but you can't deny the fact that they are "successful" by modern definitions of the term.

great counterpoint, and I don't disagree that the desire to better oneself is innate in us.
However, the extreme of any mode will cause unbalance, not to use blame though. I believe everyone tries their best at any given moment, but I do not think that the ends justify the means. What is the point of living, if you are going to be miserable most of the time? I think there is a middle ground.

I've been thinking a lot about happiness recently and its inverse, the self-loathing you are talking about. I've pretty much landed on the pursuit of a worthy goal definition.

It's why getting your dopamine fix from games and tv shows doesn't actually make you feel any better. But the people who make the games understand simulating the goal-reward loop really well.

A lot of my friends talk about the shows they are watching and the games they are playing. I'm just sitting there like, "who has time for all that shit?"

Now excuse me while I go chat on discord about steemmonsters...

I actually read it all, lol! Guess what? Worth the time.

I couldnt agree more, but well I havent finished, just went to the bottom to see what other people talk about, some parts got me thinking. once I finish to read it (maybe read it one or two times) I´ll post my comments.

I agree too. I read the post completely and it's amazing :)

LOL. As if there was even a chance it wouldn't be.

What a disgusting style to write.

I liked your trash.

I'm from Venezuela, everything I post is Spanish but sometimes I come to read you.

gracias amigo. Que Bonita cosa para decir (my Spanish sucks)

This is a good reminder of the importance of mental health. Learn more about warning signs and prevention.

Lol. This is my favorite spam comment ever.

You touched on mental health and depression. I thought people struggling with those issues deserve some useful information.

I mean, it’s likely that you just left that comment after reading the first line of the post, which is why I called it spam.

But I just thought it was funny because it’s like, “if your thoughts start to resemble this guy’s, then here’s a link where you can get some help.”

Not exactly what I was thinking but fair enough. It's just a topic I take very seriously and don't think enough is said about it. Some people suffer in silence and I like spreading information thinking that it may help someone.

I'm a simple man. I see a post where someone isn't afraid of chewing his readers out and spiting them in a bucket, I am intrigued.

You must have had a lot on your mind and must feel good for having gotten this out of your system.

I could write an educated opinion about what you wrote. The question is: Would you actually care about it?

I'm a simple man. I see a post where someone isn't afraid of chewing his readers out and spiting them in a bucket, I am intrigued.

You should check out my other posts. Plenty more where that came from.

You must have had a lot on your mind and must feel good for having gotten this out of your system.

Honestly? I felt like a lot of my recent posts have been too sterile. Not interesting, not challenging. I wanted to freestyle a little bit.

I could write an educated opinion about what you wrote. The question is: Would you actually care about it?

Not sure. I don't have a crystal ball. That said, you don't need my permission to leave your opinion on my post. That's why I posted it publicly.

As experience told me, not everything that has been proclaimed openly is open for debate. Sometimes, people just want to vent. Also, not every opinion is treated equally. We tend to value the opinions of others more when they are in line with our own trains of thoughts.

That being said, you are right when it comes to the many times you said that I as the reader probably knew a couple of the things that you posted. And I certainly agreed on a couple of them.

Some of the most unpopular ones, actually. Which leads back to my quote. Me replying to some other peoples problems by giving them my opinions on these topics that ended up not being what the person wanted hear. Led to some people not wanting to talk to me anymore.

They usually come back after days, weeks or months just so that they can tell me that I have been right all along, but of course, I knew that and by then, I usually don't care anymore.

Because being right is nice, but it is useless if you can't convince others. And I think that this is part of the reason as for why I read so much frustration in this post of yours.

Yes, I am a boring pathetic loser, but at least I work on myself everyday to become less of that. I do have a lot of faith in myself and have improved a lot over the years, but I am not satisfied with where I am.

I don't having to rely on working a job in China in order to make the majority of my income and stay in this country (except crypto). My goal is to be a digital nomad but I haven't found that thing that I am really good at and enjoy doing to make a full time living off of and be able to travel.

I still have a fair bit of shame that I haven't accepted yet which makes it difficult for me to bond with people, but that is starting to improve fortunately.

Congrats on making clients on here. People that will pay you "real" money for your services. I have yet to do that but at least I earn a good amount of Steem from my videos on here.


This's really cool , congratulations for trending no.1

The truth is that I followed your account originally so that I could get an upvote in at the 30 minute mark on every post for the curation. This is the first one I actually ready more than the first sentence. Now, 3.5 hours later, I've ready about 20 and this shit is fuckin great! I know what you're doing: About half way through the title of the post become irrelevant and each one reverts to a journal entry from a guy with unlimited ego (a good thing in my opinion). Really, at face value the lesson is meaningless the second half is where the magic happens. New rule: I read the second half of all your posts. Keep it up

Thanks bru. Enjoy the Kool Aid.

It’s not so much that I’m trying to write a journal entry as it is that I find it more effective to make a point by telling a story. And of course I can tell my own story the easiest.

As for the unlimited ego thing, you might have a point. I try to balance it with some self effacing humor. Sometimes it works.

read a good 3/4th of that. Got me thinking about an article I was reading that was about haters on twitter slamming Elle McPherson for giving out a diet tip. A bunch of disgusting slobs were offended by her discussing getting in shape for the beach. The weird thing was the article seemed to be suggesting that their stupid opinions were important or valid somehow. She still looks fucking incredible by the way.

Wow Elle McPherson is still around? Certified smoke show.

But yeah, people who have given up can't stand to see others trying to make themselves better. Kind of makes you see haters in a new light.

What is really alarming is that this article actually seems to be praising the haters or at least portraying them as the ones with the moral authority. That's a certified GILF right there.

I love the phrase you say you're not going to die because someone hurt your feelings is true sometimes someone hurts us and we do not get over it easily but we need to mentalize life continues I went through a divorce and I was two years very sad while I saw the photos of my ex happy couple no one dies for anyone and it is not worth clinging to pain ..

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True true. What goes around comes around.

Dear god where are you at when you write this shit. A cafe? I would love to be the barista serving you coffee taking bets with my coworkers when you are gonna choke someone out :)

Dear god where are you at when you write this shit.

Normally lying in bed.

I would love to be the barista serving you coffee taking bets with my coworkers when you are gonna choke someone out :)

Nah. I'm actually a polite normal person. I'm the Great Steemit Pretender, remember?

Well, there's so much in here and now I'm gonna comment on something everyone totally forgot you said cause it was way at the top of this mile long post but people who make shitty comments.... absolutely they're losers. You literally have to be a loser to post something ripping apart someone's work. Only people who don't do anything do that. People who do shit themselves simply don't post shitty-ass comments on other people's stuff.

You literally have to be a loser to post something ripping apart someone's work. Only people who don't do anything do that. People who do shit themselves simply don't post shitty-ass comments on other people's stuff.

Mmm, sort of. I'm not opposed to negative criticism, even though it hurts my ego. Even non-constructive criticism is fine, if anything it just shows a lack of refinement by the poster. Or maybe they're trying to make a statement. I am an easy target, after all.

But yes, you're right. I was actually thinking of that quote when I wrote that section. But IMO it's too overplayed on the internet so I didn't want to include it.

Okay. That´s all cool, but who the fuck is Anthony Bourdain?

Join me in my struggle with alcohol addiction

Too good to read, but to long to be focused on it!

Wow this is great. Pointless? Perhaps... But such is everything. It's honestly a lot like where my mind tends to go the majority of the time. I think about how any action that seems sensible to a "normal person" is merely perpetuating the bullshit that has led me to lack any desire to conform. At times I'd rather starve myself literally than continue walking my ass to the metaphorical watering hole of bullshit. I truly have no desire to hurt others and tend to only stick around for the select few people that would be affected by my decision to leave... thinking they could have done something to help... Jokes on them! I love to sabotage myself by believing i'm the greatest gift to earth.

I can even recall particular psychotic episode that led me to just quit my last job despite the fact that I had no way to pay any of my bills at the time. I pretty much just said "fuck it"... sold my brand new car... sold all my larger belongings... and went rogue living on and off the street for a year or two. I consider doing it again but I've also just about recovered my reputation since my last fallout. Sort of at a loss and the end of my rope at the same time. Been this way for a long time now.

I just try to keep myself busy creating, walking around in nature by myself, and sleeping as much as humanly possible. Idk, what I'm really doing anymore. My "god" tends to be freedom and that's not necessarily even the lack of commitment... but rather the ability to chose what is best for myself at any given moment. I'm just rambling now.

Look up Grant Cardone. Be obsessed or be average. Download the audio book

The bullyng is a fashion that has clung to all levels of society, it covers both large and small alike, but what attitude we should take before this situation, it is advisable to have a positive attitude to destructive and constructive criticism and make disregard to any unhealthy comment

This post is good trash. Keep it up.

Thank you habibti. Eid Mubarak

Hello Sir I am new on the steemit so how can i improve myself please give me some advise please...

HappinesHap.jpgs lies within, there is no secret formula to happiness. Its just the frame of mind. You should watch the movie pursuit of happiness and it has a simple but strong message. Again its my perspective but you have put great content together

Please promote my new content about breakup on your channel. Thanks in advance.

@yallapapi Dude.. what do you think yourself some preacher or somthing because your view is too direct and too much hard to digest. But I must say you said- only truth.

Just keep it up

You got a 33.34% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @yallapapi!

Want to promote your posts too? Check out the Steem Bot Tracker website for more info. If you would like to support the development of @postpromoter and the bot tracker please vote for @yabapmatt for witness!

It's funny because I have a head injury lol. *stares at wall for ten minutes

Quite frankly THE BEST stream of consciousness writing I've ever had the pleasure of coming across. Rock on!

Thank you. But if it was really the best, then you would resteem it so the less fortunate among us could also benefit from the wisdom contained herein instead of just being selfish and keeping it all for yourself. Or something.

You're right. Apologies. Guess I just assumed I wouldn't make much of a difference resteeming it as I'm a minnow. I still new here and learning how it all works. But I'll resteem anyway, since you asked so nicely...

Well technically I didn’t ask, but you’re still a sweetheart for resteeming it anyway. If you like my writing style and want to learn more about how the platform works, check out the posts in my signature a at the bottom of this post. I give a different view of the overall culture and path to success here.

Haha, my sarcasm wasn't lost on you I see.

Cheers for the info. I've just started reading your digital nomad post and realised I need a strong drink and a cigarette to accompany me on the journey! (It's awesome that you write epically long posts!)

Interesting reflections. My impression is that steemit has more quality content than most other platforms I'm on, though, at least compared to the quantity. I'm into fiction and illustration, and have found quite a few very interesting people, and I'm having a lot of fun :)

Can’t comment on those as I don’t read much fiction anymore and am not much of an artist. I just go by what I see on the Trending page. Not much of a barometer I suppose.

The issue is the forced positivity for financial gain. People are more likely to get upvotes if they say comment or post something positive. I get it. Even I do it.

But unfortunately it leads to low effort content and comments as people prioritize positivity over authenticity. They don’t take chances because they don’t want to risk any sort of negative consequences.

Well, this post didn't go bad at all, though :D

The picture is very funny. It is very suitable for me, the phenomenon is very similar with my condition here. I think it is similar too with much of people in steemit @yallapapi . I can increase my muscle and i also can increase my brain

Soo good article ;D

Kinda feel the same ;)

you are also a great Pretender

Very nice post mate !!!

Excelent post.

Coolest article I've ever read

love it nice article about psychology .


Saya sangat senang melihat postingan anda bantu saya untuk mendapatkan vote yang bnyak terima kasih

well written article express great work..

Resteemed by @resteembot! Good Luck!
Check @resteembot's introduction post or the other great posts I already resteemed.

I had the same feelings when i didn’t have the job and used to spend hours at the internet then one day atlast hit the gym 😅

nice post....

This post has just received lots of ♡♡♡#LOVE♡♡♡ and a 66.67% upvote from @haveaheart!

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Your article made so much sense to me, points raised are practical things most people go through, especially those with low self esteem, i hope they could see this and read, thank you so much for nailing it

Fuck you @yallapapi, you just wiped those suicidal thoughts out of me at least for the next 5 minutes.

Also thanks.



PS: love all these SEO backlinking shit you got going on in all your articles. At least some inherent crap can be learnt here.

I just want to give people as many opportunities as possible to be blessed by my wonderful word sequencing.

gym is life #love #bodybuilding is life brother really nice and motivating

Buen post. Y muucha realidad en el. Gracias por tu tiempo

You have recieved a free upvote from minnowpond, Send 0.1 -> 2 SBD with your post url as the memo to recieve an upvote from up to 100 accounts!


I had never seen someone articulate truth in such exquisite ways.

PS: I´m not writing this for you to upvote me I don´t really give a shit if you do.

Peculiar motivational speech. XD

Much of information, thank you very much for your good content.))))))))))

Did Anthony Bourdain deserve to suicide? Not because a woman's cheat...

Very intriguing and long article. I wrote something this long before but not with nearly as an artistically expression as you have. Hey I just want to let you know if you sure music on the BOOMBOX tag my alt accounts will resteem them.

You got a 85.35% upvote from @upme thanks to @yallapapi! Send at least 3 SBD or 3 STEEM to get upvote for next round. Delegate STEEM POWER and start earning 100% daily payouts ( no commission ).

Thanks for your kind words

Hello! I really liked this article because it made me think about all those conditions that some people present and that we as a community do not know how to face or treat people who are going through a difficult process in their lives. However, it seems to me that you made an invitation to be more attentive and instead of making bullying to contribute so that the person who thinks he is lost, can be helped to get out of this tunnel without light in which he thinks he is. Appreciating and valuing every second of your life and redirecting your life in a completely different direction. I would like to read a little more about this topic, it is something that steemians society brings knowledge but also generates a benefit to be better people

Functionally its preogressive with some extra power of human minds and makes uh feel more attentiv.So On Great experience with #STEEM

This might be the most depressing thing I've read in quite some time.

Nice. That’s exactly what I was going for

You got 35+ upvotes from @oceansbot courtesy of @yallapapi!

It's great to read your post, I read all your posts, much to learn from your post, much to know, I hope you are looking forward to such a beautiful post from you, you go forward, we are always with you, steemit A big flat platform! All our favorite sites, we all are here to build careers, since I am new here, so I want to help you with all of your help! Your! Hope you can get all the help you need on steemit, if you like, if you like, you can also improve yourself steemit! Thank you for posting a good post.

def worth the read

Great job.

elegantly composed article express extraordinary work.

Hahaha @yallapapi your great, you can writed long posting like this.. i cant may be 1/4 or 1/5. That very good content about the time.

very good work

Still the realest on all of Steemit that I've come across. Keep reaching bruh. About to go list some more items to dropship with fresh motivation thanks

The best way to avoid the monster depression is by doing what gives you the greatest amount of happiness, is it cooking, playing with kids in the lobby, it can be anything. No human being is exempted from the monster depression, but it depends on how you handles it, it can start with something very little, harsh words from your boss at the office, jeering by peers or that interview you screwed up. So get in your feet, this monster ain't gonna weigh ok down. You are the boss of your life. You win!!!! To hel with monster depression!!!

You didn’t read the post, did you.

Well...I reckon - Depression is a negative state of anger. The one cannot live without smiles so one has to pretend, but a pretended smile hurts very much... It does not make you happy; it simply reminds you of how unhappy you are.

Understanding is liberating, so when you see a fact there is no need to condemn, there is no need to be worried about it. When you understand and accept you start looking for solutions!

You are truly an inspiration,please keep up these helpfull posts.

This post was resteemed and upvoted by @otobot and for Upvote 10+ Account and Resteem to 6000+ Send 0.100 SBD or STEEM with URL in Memo thanks to: @yallapapi

Such as a good story i like it.

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wow, so much to read and digest with lots of information.
Thanks @yallapai

Nice actually seems good thought

I like the fact that you are blatant. we all need to learn what you are trying to say here. No one can really turn their back to the reality. The one who doesn't give a f*ck comes out the strongest.

Much of information, thank you very much for your good content.