You don't have to live so tiredly, because you don't have so many audiences
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Yesterday evening, when I was catching up with my old friends, we talk about the fun things happened during our high school.
I asked him: Do you remember that one time during math class, I was wearing my pants wrong way round, but I do not know about it, then when the teacher asked me to solve the question in front, many students are pointing at me and laugh, when the math teacher found out, she also did not hold in and laugh.
He replied me after a while: I don't remember, I only know that the math teacher like to ask you to solve the questions in front, haha...
Obviously, after class he ran to me and laughed at me for a good while, how can he forget about it, so I found another classmate and asked him whether he remember this incident, he also said he couldn’t remember.
This incident I remember clearly, occasionally will think of the distress at that time, there was a time when I am very concerned about it, but never thought that no one remembers.
My friend said, a lot of times, the things we care about, a little bit of bad will left a lot of knots in our heart, and even affect our normal life, always think that what others will think of us, in fact, others don’t care about you at all.
What he said was right, we do not have to live so tiredly, we don't have so many audiences, other than people who have a crush on you, no one will be always concerned about you.
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One of my friends likes to share his life on social media, what meals he had, what movies he watched, he will share it all on social media. We never have to chat with him to know what he did every day; occasionally when I was bored, it is quite interesting reading the posts he posted.
Then he suddenly stopped, I was puzzled because almost a week didn’t see his post, and later I messaged him, and he said because someone comments something hurtful.
There is a person commented on his post, saying that he posts too often, a little annoyed, he immediately fell into sadness: "I never thought of this, everyone has hated me, many people didn't say, but they must also think so."
I comforted him: "Everyone is busy with their life, they don’t have the energy to hate you, you have your right to share your life, whether others like to see or not, you don’t have to think too much. If you stop sharing, I will feel not accustomed to it!"
There is a thing called “spotlight effect,” meaning, sometimes we always inadvertently put our problems to infinity, when we always think people will notice when we make a fool of, in fact, they may have noticed, but will immediately forget.
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No one is as concerned about yourself as you are, the spotlight effect is only in your mind, not in the real world.
At school, the test results are for the outsiders to evaluate our standards, if you get good results, you don’t have to afraid others to ask, but if you get bad results, you will stay in the room and don’t dare to come out because afraid of others will ask.
In fact, a lot of people's inquiries are just a casual mention; they are not so concerned about it. In the adults' life, there are too many vexed things; your exam results won’t get their attention.
Excessive attention to oneself is a kind of no self-confidence performance; he always wanted to leave a good impression on others, because others praise and become happy, and because of others bad comments, the mood immediately fell to the bottom.
Wear a beautiful dress, but the lining has come unstitched, always pay attention to other people's eyes, fear others will see it. In fact, no one will notice it, even if there is a big hole in the dress, the society will be very peaceful to accept.
Nowadays, the internet era, there are voices all the times, when you make a sound, there will be people who like you, naturally, there will also be people who hate you, all kinds of comments is not under our control.
Since there is nowhere to hide, let it go and try not to look at the words that upset you, and we are just ordinary people with no spotlights or fans.
Paying too much attention to what others think of us will make us destroy the best time of our short life.
Almost everyone spends time trying to be someone else, like a standard person, a person who everyone else agrees with.
They maintain a healthy face and elegant conversation, wearing other people's favorite clothes, hanging on a smile that people likes, trembling to remain vigilant, refused to reveal themselves, so as not to appear like a psychopath.
Such a standard person, in fact, is just living for others, but after been recognized, lost themselves at the same time, and also forgotten by others.
A lot of problems actually does not exist, the more you think about it, the more it exists, the greater its impact on yourself.
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Someone did an experiment; he asked the audience not to think about monkeys in the next minute. A minute later, he asked the audience who did not think about monkeys raise their hands, found that only a few people raise their hands, almost everyone thinks about monkeys.
Clearly agreed not to think, but still can't help to think, your resistance and rejection of the idea being that you are concerned about the tie.
Most people have a common problem, born out of self-concern, all starting with me and self-centered.
Reduce excessive attention to yourself; you need to go out and see the larger world, you will see more wonderful things, those small problems will be left behind, like that sentence said: "You have to go out and see; otherwise you will think that all around you is the whole world."
Socrates said, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing."
When you are in a dry well, you can only hear your own response, you will only pay attention to your echoes, and when you stand on the top of the mountain, you will find yourself is just a speck of dust, you won't even think about yourself.
When you forget yourself, you will find yourself more refreshed.
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This is the best article i have read today, is free from cabbage and highly inspiring, we are our own problems. Thanks ~ Keep the good work up
We are who we are because of what we went through in our lives.
The good things that happened to us and the bad things.
We need to learn from our past, improve and grow.