Low self-esteem almost kill me!

walkinharmony (66)in #life • 7 years ago

Have you ever feel inferior because of weak learning skill?

Have you ever feel inferior because of poverty?

Have you ever feel inferior because of your appearance and stature?

I believe in life, at a certain moment, everyone will feel inferior because of some things or some people, I am no exception, and in high school, low self-esteem almost killed me.

When I was in first grade, all the students have similar height, and with the age of growth, to the time I found other students are taller, some grow to 1.5 meters, some grow to 1.6 meters, and I still at 1.45 meters, just like stereotypes.

I started to wonder: Why are people growing taller? I began to have an inferiority complex; my friends are also comforting me: "Nothing to worry about, perhaps you will be as tall as we are slowly!”

And the next semester, the students younger than me are taller than me, but I was still the same. Walking together with my classmates, I was the shortest, and I have to look up to them when talking with them.

Whenever standing in line, I either stand in the front or stand at the end. In class, I always sit in the first row; I am always the one who is the nearest to the whiteboard. Many, many times, I wanted to stand or sit in the middle, but I couldn’t do anything.

I become more and more inferior, skip meals and skip sleep, I deeply remember in the day of the autumn. Everyone sat down resting, inadvertently chatted about their height, talking about who is taller, who grow faster.

And my classmates do not know that I have already extremely inferior because of the height issue, so when they talk about this topic, my heart hurts like a knife cut.

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Back home that afternoon, I ran to the roof, looking at the distant mountains, looking at the sky, constantly thinking: "Why I am not tall?" Why am I so short? "Why me?" "Who can help me?" No one, no one! I was so caught up in the vicious circle of inferiority.

I have been sitting from day to night without eating and speak, on that day, I unexpectedly had the idea of suicide. My family saw me this way, very worried. Later, when I saw Grandma distressed me, worried about me, it’s already night time.

That day was one of the darkest days of my high school, and now I think about it, the feeling and the mood are faintly clear.

Since then, I do not want to join with other students, do not like to talk to them, every day hiding in the classroom, I began to become unhappy, often feel sad and cry.

After graduating from high school, life without classmates, without a whiteboard, all kinds of people submerged my inferiority but did not dissipate from my heart.

Later, because of my family continuously comfort and encouragement, because others said I look good, my work efficiency is high, because I treat people sincerely, easy-going cordial, everyone is willing to get along with me. At that time, my heart really felt a sense of pride, achievement, and value.

When these advantages cover my short inferior, when others give me a positive evaluation, the inferiority complex in my heart gradually narrowed down until disappeared.

At that time I was 18 years old, this is a full four years pain of an inferiority complex.

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Once, inferiority is a devil, haunt my sleepless night, no appetite, insanity, and even have the idea of suicide, I feel really terrible when I think about it now.

Now, no matter my cousin or my niece, they are taller than me, but I did not feel inferior but also wearing their clothes and shoes that they cannot fit.

When looking for a job, because of my height, because others see me thin and short, generally will not employ.

At this time, my inner monologue is like: "You do not hire me is your loss, I will certainly make you regret for judging by the appearance."

How do I start from the extreme inferiority to the present self-confidence, even arrogant? Because of all the way, I found some ways to deal with inferiority in the process, and now I want to share with you.

When you feel inferior, or when you find that you have an inferiority complex, you can try to follow these steps, which can greatly reduce your sense of inferiority.

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The first step: Talk.

That time when I feel inferior because of my height, I did not talk to anyone, but my family, knowing my temper, they knew why I felt inferior even if I didn’t tell them.

But don’t learn from me, you must tell your feelings and emotions to others, whether relatives or friends. If you really can't say it out, the internet is so advance; you can talk to netizens.

Even if others can't really help you solve the problem, this is a way to vent your emotions, and it will play a role in reducing your sense of inferiority.

Step two: Find the balance

Inferiority is the beginning of unbalance feeling, always think that others are better, even if they have a lot of advantages, they can’t see it, often feel inferior to others.

At this time you have to look for the balance in mind, but how to find it? Don’t compare your bad side with others good, but compare with those who are doing worse than you.

For example, because you don’t look good, because you are too short and inferiority, then you need to look at those who have less arm, broken legs, blind, disabled people. Look at them, they have a worse condition than you, but they are still busy for life, they have nothing to worry about, there is nothing to feel inferior.

Another example, you feel inferior because you are poor, then you should look at the street beggars or junk scrap, those who live at the bottom. These people even if penniless, they are still optimistic about staying alive, what makes you feel inferior after seeing this?

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Step three: Find your own sparkle

If you have time, you can calm down and think about what expertise your friends and relatives have but you don't have, or what they don’t have but you have.

For example, you're not as good-looking as they are, but you're good at dealing with relationships. They have higher education than you, but your survival ability is stronger. They have children and have a happy family, but they do not have a stable job, and so on.

When you find your strengths and expertizes, you will find yourself quite good, not that useless, greatly improve your self-confidence.

Step Four: Praise yourself.

Give yourself positive psychological cues every day, often say to yourself, "I am the best, I can do it!" "I'm not ugly at all; I'm beautiful!" "I am me, a unique me, is the world's most beautiful fireworks!"

When you appreciate yourself from your heart, praise yourself, you will find that your mood will also become good, at this time, inferiority will slowly retreat in this beautiful halo.

I wrote down my life experience, not only for my own healing but also a reflection of myself. The real goal is to tell you that inferiority is a psychological disease, hope that we don’t fall too deep, otherwise will have disastrous consequences.

If you shut your heart up, the world certainly becomes small; if you open your heart, the world naturally becomes broad.

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