Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 47 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 17)

in #funny3 years ago


Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 47th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, and 46. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!

The eggs

A priest bought 6 dozen eggs to give to the poor. He left them in front of the church to fetch later. He was surprised to find out that the eggs have disappeared. And so he held a prayer service or Mass that day to find out.

PRIEST: Please stand up those who have the eggs!

All the men stood up.

PRIEST: I mean those who have seen the eggs!

All the women stood up.

PRIEST: Oh dear, I mean those who have seen my eggs!

All the nuns stood up.

Small but big

PETER: Hey, kid! Have you seen a person that's small but big?
KID: You're crazy, mister! Of course, not! Have you?
PETER: Yeah, I do!
KID: So what is it?
PETER: Isn't the person in a photograph SMALL? BUT in real life, that person is BIG as in life-size! Boy, you are dumb!
KID: Oh, that's right! I am dumb!

Breaking news


And now for the latest breaking bad news headlines:

Cemetery burned. All there dead!

Two bald men in fistfight. Their head lice injured!

Blind man in stabbing spree. Says rage blinded him.

Pregnant lady stabbed. Baby quickly evades knife!

Boy jumped into river. Found wet!

The late cut

Husband to wife an hour before his surgery in a clinic.

HUSBAND: Honey, if I do not make it, tell our children that I loved them.
WIFE: Oh, cut your chicken drama! Nobody ever died from circumcision!

The shocking secret

Nice, old lady to best friend revealing a shocking secret she kept for more than thirty years...

OLD LADY: My husband has three balls!!! Yes, it's disgusting!


Translated from Source:

Follow me as @darthnava: "Don't worry if it's not good enough. Just sing...Sing a song."

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