Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 10

darthnava (71)in #funny • 6 years ago (edited)

Hello, friends! This is the 10th part of my series post about Filipino jokes translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, and 9 if you have not read them already.

I am still trying to find old local jokes that got me laughing as a kid. Sadly, those could be a fading memory as the tellers of those tales are long gone or might have forgotten them.

There are still a lot more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

So please read and enjoy!

Experienced

On their wedding night, the groom suddenly found that his bride was not as chaste as she looked.

GROOM: What the heck! I thought I was your first boyfriend! Why is it that you're not a virgin anymore???
BRIDE: You really are my first boyfriend! The rest of them were only my customers!

The Death List

One day the Angel of Death visited John.

DEATH: You are next, John. You are next on my list!
JOHN: Wait! I still have much to do!
DEATH: No, exemptions...Fate is fate!
JOHN: Before you take me. Can I get you some coffee? (Offers coffee with sleeping pills)
DEATH: (Drinks the coffee laced with sleeping pills) Oh, alright. I still got some time. So prepare yourself! zzzzzz..zzzzzz...zzzzzz...
JOHN: (Slowly gets the Book of Life from the sleeping Death's hand and erases his name from the first persons row lists and places it last in the last persons row lists.) There! Now I'll live longer than anyone else alive in this world!

And the Angel of Death woke up a few hours later and takes the Book...

DEATH: That was the best coffee I had since The Creation! As a reward, John, I am going to skip the first persons row lists with you in it and start with the last persons list beginning with the last name!

The Tender Care

LITTLE CHILD: Daddy, who do love most? Me, Mommy, or Nanny?
DADDY: Of course, its you, darling.
LITTLE CHILD: Oh! That's why during sleep time you slowly cover me with blankets but then you quickly remove Nanny's clothes!

The Ignorant Ones

2 country bumpkins were riding a high-rise building elevator for the first time in their lives...

SON: Dad, This ride must cost a lot! Why don't we ask someone on how much it costs?
FATHER: Don't be ignorant! Just wait for the conductor and he'll give us a ticket!

The Gay Bar

MOM: Where have you been?
DAUGHTER: A friend invited me to have fun with her at the gay bar. Every one gay there was so noisy!
MOM: So who is the noisiest gay person out there?
DAUGHTER: It was Dad!

Translated from Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWnQxFnDi1s

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