Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 7

in #funny5 years ago

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This is the 7th part of my series post about Filipino jokes translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5 and part 6 if you have not read them already.

I was bored with writer's block so I decided to revive this old post series of mine. I hope that you will like it.

There are still many more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of my fellow Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

So enjoy and Steem on!



This really happened when I was in my sophomore year at Catholic high school...

Name the Epistles of the New Testament

My unruly classmate was called out by our Priest lecturer during Christian values class to name some of the 21 Epistles of the New Testament.

He shyly grinned and recited:

Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Thessalonians, and..Amphibians!

AMPHIBIANS??? The class roared out in laughter.


Cassava

POLICE INVESTIGATOR: What happened to your first wife?
FARMER: She died eating cassava.
POLICE INVESTIGATOR: What happened to your second wife?
FARMER: She died eating cassava too.
POLICE INVESTIGATOR: And now your third wife? How is she?
FARMER: Oh, she's at home crying because I beat her up.
POLICE INVESTIGATOR: What?!? Why???
FARMER: She won't eat cassava!


Too Much Drinking

WIFE: Why won't you stop drinking? You are spending too much money on beer!
DRUNK HUSBAND: Leave me be...I don't even mind you spend too much money on clothes and make-up!
WIFE: I spend that money on clothes and make-up to make myself beautiful in your eyes!
DRUNK HUSBAND: I spend money to drink more beer to make you beautiful in my eyes!


Stolen Kiss

BRUNO: Dad, I got suspended from school today for stealing a kiss on my classmate during class!
DAD:(Laughing with pride) Heh heh, you really take after me, son. Why, I also did that during my high school days. I was a real ladies' man! So, how did it feel?
BRUNO: It felt good! HE WAS SO HANDSOME!!!


Money got Hot

Anna was a pretty and gorgeous, sexy girl and she was smart. One day she went out at night to buy groceries but was robbed along the way. Thankfully, the drug-crazed robber never got any money out of her and left quickly because she placed the hundred dollar bill inside her panties before going out!

Feeling relieved, she proceeded to buy some groceries in a nearby store. Anna tried to pay for the goods at the counter with the hundred dollar bill which she secretly kept inside her panties.

CASHIER: I'm sorry we don't accept fake cash.

Anna was surprised. Fake??? Anna took a deep, closer look at the hundred dollar bill and was shocked:

The hero's face on the bill had a tongue sticking out!





Translated from Source: https://youtu.be/u0LkCB6UbGk

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Oh Snap. Not a clue what Cassava is. Been to PH twice, this year, oddly.

Cassava is a root vegetable eaten in developing countries. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/cassava#section1

ah, I actually guessed that. That joke is lost on me. lol. The rest I get.

The joke is that the 2 late wives of the farmer were killed by being forced to eat cassava. The 3rd wife is next to be killed.

OMG!! I got that. I just thought there was something about Cassava. It could be any food then. Like lettuce, fish or bananas. I just thought there was something about Cassava.

Well, cassava really can be toxic if not cooked properly. You can read about it in the link I gave you.

This post was epic to enjooy hahah had great time :D

Very funny! I liked the hundred dollar bill one the most.😜

Glad you enjoyed that naughty joke story.

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