Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 13
Hello, my fellow Steemers! This is the 13th part of my series post about Filipino jokes which I have translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12. Please read and pick the one you like the most. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.
There are still a lot more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
So please read and enjoy!
Earnings
TONY: I hope someday I could earn 50,000 Pesos a month like Daddy!
JOHN: Wow! Is that how much your father earns?
TONY: No, that's his dream too!
Hopeless
DOCTOR: I am sorry. You got only a few months to live.
PATIENT: Is there no hope for me? What should I do???
DOCTOR: I think you should marry an ugly woman who is also a nagger...
PATIENT: What??? Why? Will that cure me?
DOCTOR: No, but once you get married, you would surely wish to die sooner rather than later!
Cure for head lice
John was always scratching his head because of a bad case of head lice infestation. His friend, Peter, took pity on him.
PETER: John, you should wash your head with a bucket of beer and then sprinkle it with lots of sand!
JOHN: What??? Why that's crazy! What good will that do to my head lice infestation?
PETER: The beer will make the lice drunk and argue among themselves and the sand particles will serve as rocks that they will throw at each other. Therefore killing them!
The 3 Priests
Three priests sat down and talked during a religious retreat in the mountains.
1ST PRIEST: My friends, I got a secret that only you should know! I got Sister Emma pregnant and we had the child aborted. I hope you would understand that I'm only just a man that has fallen into temptation!
2ND PRIEST: My friends, I got a secret too - I personally spent all the monetary donations of last Sunday's church service and I don't know how to return the money!
3RD PRIEST: I too have a secret that no one must know...I can't keep my mouth shut! I love to gossip!
Lost weight
PETER: Damn, my wife is so fat that she had to ride a horse to move around!
RICHARD: I think one can lose weight through horseback riding after a month.
PETER: Yes, 10 kilograms of weight were lost by the horse!
Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/
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