Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 17

in #funny6 years ago

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Hello, my fellow Steemers! This is the 17th part of my series post about Filipino jokes which I have translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and 16. Please read and pick the one you like the most. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

There are still a lot more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

So please read and enjoy!



The Backflip

NINA: I was able to do a backflip in school today while wearing my school dress!
MOM: Foolish girl, everybody can see your panties!
NINA: It is alright, mom. I put my panties in my schoolbag before doing the backflip!


The Horny Rooster

Once upon a time, there lived on a farm a rooster that was so horny that it tried and raped every animal on the farm. All the chickens, ducks, geese, goats, sheep, cows, and even the dogs and cats were not spared from sexual assault by the sexually-crazed rooster!

Then one day, the farmer found the horny rooster. It was squirming slowly in the ground, face down, in a field nearby.

FARMER: Aha!!! Karma has finally caught up with you! Your horny days are over because your body ran out of energy and is too weak to go on! Serves you right!
ROOSTER: After I'm done with this worm, you're next!


The Yesteryears

GRANDPA: Why don't we relive the good old days when we were just lovers?
GRANDMA: Yes, let's meet up in the same old spot where we use to meet in the park! Tomorrow?
GRANDPA: Agreed.

The next day...

GRANDPA: Why didn't you meet me there? I was waiting with roses and chocolates as I used to before while waiting for you!
GRANDMA: I did want to go! But my parents did not allow me!


Thief in the Sack

Three thieves stole some big cash and were now on the run from the law. They finally came upon a barn. As the policemen were approaching, each one finally hid inside a sack of potatos among many sacks of potatos stacked inside the barn.

The policemen came inside the barn then started to kick the sacks of potatos to scare the thieves out.

POLICEMAN: (Kicks a sack) Here's a strange sack! Umm...!
1ST THIEF IN SACK: BOW WOW! BOW WOW!
POLICEMAN: Just a dog! (Kicks another sack)
2ND THIEF IN SACK: MEOW! MEOW!
POLICEMAN: Just a cat! (then kicks another sack)
POLICEMAN: Nothing here, damn...(Kicks the sack again and again)
3RD THIEF IN SACK: Ouch! Stop it! I'm a potato and I don't make any sound!


Who's More Intelligent?

BOY: Father, who is more intelligent? The father or the child?
FATHER: The father, of course!
BOY: Then who invented the telephone?
FATHER: It is Alexander Graham Bell...
BOY: Then Why didn't his father invented it???





Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


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