Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 15
Hello, my fellow Steemers! This is the 15th part of my series post about Filipino jokes which I have translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14. Please read and pick the one you like the most. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.
There are still a lot more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
So please read and enjoy!
The 3 Nuns and the Parrot
One day three nuns were walking down happily in an alley when they noticed a parrot in a cage hanging by a house nearby. The three nuns talked among themselves if the bird was smart and suddenly the parrot cried out.
PARROT: Red! Black! White!
The three nuns were surprised! The naughty parrot had guessed each of the three nuns' own color of panties! The next day, the three nuns passed again by the parrot
PARROT: Yellow! Green! Blue!
The damn naughty parrot was right again! And so the three nuns secretly agreed among themselves to wear no panties at all the next day.
The next day, without wearing underwear, the three nuns passed by the parrot and smiled that the bird didn't cry out...
PARROT: Curly! Puffy! Baldy!
The Mouse and the Elephant
One day the mouse whispered something to the elephant. And the elephant fainted!
What did the mouse whisper to the elephant?
MOUSE: I am pregnant with your child!
And so the elephant took the mouse to the doctor for the check up if it was true. The elephant was glad at the ultrasound results and whispered something to the mouse. The mouse fainted!
What did the elephant whisper to the mouse?
Elephant: Yes, you really are pregnant...With elephant twins!
High blood pressure
Mr. John was diagnosed with high blood pressure or hypertension.
DOCTOR: For your health, I forbid you to eat pork, beef or chicken. I'll only allow you to eat meat from ANIMALS THAT SWIM, LIKE FISH for example..
A month later the doctor visited Mr. John at his mansion to see how he was doing. He was greeted by the maid in the living room.
MAID: Mr. John will to come meet you in a short while as he's still in the swimming pool.
DOCTOR: Good, I assume he is taking swimming exercises?
MAID: No, he's teaching a pig to SWIM LIKE FISH so he could eat it!
Making the Elephant sit
There was a world contest held in a stadium about who can make a stubborn elephant sit. 3 men, each from a different country, were the finalists.
MR. JAPAN went first and kicked the elephant in the head. The animal shook its head but did not sit. The audience clapped!
MR. AMERICA came next and punched the elephant in the stomach. The elephant moved its body swaying sideways but did not sit. The audience cheered!
Finally, MR. PHILIPPINES whispered something to the elephant. And the elephant sat! The audience roared with approval and he won!
What did MR. PHILIPPINES whispered to the elephant?
"Sit down or I'll cut off your balls!"
Life jacket
Five men, each of different nationalities, were onboard a sinking boat during a storm but there was only one life jacket. They finally agreed that one of them will get the life jacket but will bear the shame of living to tell the sacrifice and heroic deaths of the other four.
AMERICAN: (Jumping first) God Bless America!
BRITISH: (Jumping after the American) God save the Queen!
JAPANESE: (Jumping next) Tennōheika Banzai!
FILIPINO: Long live the Philippines! (And kicked the Chinese next to him into the water!)
Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/
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