Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 44 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 16)

in #funny5 years ago

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 44th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, and 43. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



The case

JOHN: I am a pretty good lawyer myself!
JAMES: Really? Wait, I am going to think of a case!
JOHN: Bring it on!
JAMES: I got a friend who has an artificial leg on his right foot. A rival got angry with him during a property dispute and threw an axe at him. He narrowly escaped being killed right there but the axe hit and broke his artificial leg. What kind of a case can I file against the assailant?
JOHN: What kind of an articial leg was it?
JAMES: It's made of wood!
JOHN: Simple, the case is illegal logging!


Grapes

Meanwhile at a small grocery.

KID: Hi, do you have grapes for sale?
GROCER: I'm sorry we don't have it.

The next day.

KID: Hi, do you have grapes for sale?
GROCER: I'm sorry we don't have it. We don't sell grapes because its not popular around here.

The next day again.

KID: Hi, do you have grapes for sale?
GROCER: I just told you that we don't sell it, kid! Now if you ask for grapes again I'm gonna staple your mouth shut!

The following day.

KID: Hi, do you have a stapler for sale?
GROCER: I'm sorry we don't sell that.
KID: Good! So do you have grapes for sale?


The list

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One day, Ken saw Dolph writing down a list.

KEN: Hey, buddy! What are you writing down?
DOLPH: Oh, it's a list of people who are afraid of me!
KEN: Really? Let me see that...Damn, why is my name here?
DOLPH: Why? Aren't you scared of me?
KEN: Damn no! Why, do you want to fight me??? Let's fight!!!
DOLPH: Oh yeah??? Why didn't you say so? I will easily erase your name on the list!


Cleaned PC

EMPLOYER: I want you to clean my computer. I am going to use it when I come back, okay?
MAID: Okay, Sir.

After a few hours later, the employer came back.

EMPLOYER: What happened to this PC! It isn't working right!
MAID: Oh, to make it look tidy, I arranged the letters of the keyboard in alphabetical order, Sir!


The interview

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This was Peter's job interview.

BOSS: Okay, tell me the opposite of the following words. "Good".
PETER: Bad
BOSS: Dead
PETER: Alive
BOSS: Ugly
PETER: Plain
BOSS: You're wrong!
PETER: You're right!
BOSS: That's enough!
PETER: That's not enough!
BOSS: Keep quiet!
PETER: Be noisy!
BOSS: (Getting mad) Good heavens!
PETER: Bad hell!
BOSS: You're fired!
PETER: I'm hired!



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


Follow me as @darthnava: ""You turn me upside down."

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