Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 41 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 15)

in #funny5 years ago

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 41st part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, and 40. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Dying choice

Son to dying father.

SON: Dad, what do you want us to do with your body when you die? Would you like a burial or cremation?
DAD: I'l leave it up to you, my son. Surprise me!


Best Filipino salesman in the U.S.A

A Filipino applied for a sales job in America.

BOSS: Do you have any sales experience?
FILIPINO: Sir, I was a salesman back home in Manila.
BOSS: Okay, You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you do.

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

BOSS: How many sales did you make today?
FILIPINO: Sir, Just ONE sale.
BOSS: Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale?
FILIPINO: $101,237.64
BOSS: What? What the hell did you sell?
FILIPINO: Sir, first I sell him small fishhook. Then I sell him a medium fishhook. And then I sell him large fishhook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast. So I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him the twin engine boat.
Then he said he didn't think his car could pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that new model pick up truck. I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to the camping department and sell him one of those new sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.
BOSS: Are you serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a pick up truck and a tent?
FILIPINO: No, Sir. Actually, he came in to buy aspirin for his headache and I said, "Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind!"


Unreal relationship

Giphy

PETER: See that hot, sexy babe in the street? We're lovers! Keep it quiet, okay?
JOHN: Are you serious? Really???
PETER: Yeah, but she doesn't know it yet!


Marital spat

WIFE: It would have been better if I married a monster rather than marry you!
HUSBAND: Well, the law says that you can't marry a relative!


Hard problem

Pixabay

JOHN: I have a really hard problem to face.
JIM: What is that hard problem to face?
JOHN: Your hard face is my problem!



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


Follow me as @darthnava: "Shout, shout, let it all out."

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I hope the son will be creative to find a good idea for his fathers body :D

Feeding it to vultures would be a good surprise.

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