20 Best Pickup Lines to Keep You Single

in funny •  2 years ago  (edited)

Alcohol + girls = stumbletongue.

I was the lucky recipient of a number of pickup lines when I tended bar during college. Some were clever, I have to admit. And some were so pathetic I had to give the poor guy a chance! And there were a few that were downright wrong. Bordering on illegal!

Here are the 20 best pickup lines a guy who wishes to remain single should memorize ;)

fail.jpg

Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Isabelle?

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Nice shirt. It would look even nicer crumpled on my bedroom floor.

Good thing I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

You must work at Subway. 'Cause you just gave me a foot-long.

If you're looking for a stud, I've got the STD and all I need is you.

Girl. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!

Can you touch my hand? I want to tell everyone that I've been touched by an angel.

If you were a Transformer you would be Optimus Fine.

Is your name Google? Cuz you got everything I'm searching for!

I may not be a weatherman but you can expect a few inches tonight.

Is that a mirror in your pants? 'Cuz I can see myself in them.

My favorite. - You dropped your pocket! (I still don't get it!)

Him: Did it hurt?
Me: Did What hurt?
Him: When you fell from Heaven. Did it hurt?

You must be tired, 'cuz you've been running through my mind all night.

I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

Baby are your parents retarded? 'Cuz you sure are special.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put I and U together.

Are you free tonight or will it cost me.

Kiss me if I'm wrong but dinosaurs aren't extinct, correct?

Have you been the recipient of cheesy pick up lines? Share in the comments below!

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Oh man there were some gems in there!!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

It never ceases to amaze me that some men actually think that these (or any cheesy) pick up lines will work on women. Lol. Us girls do actually have bains hey... as well as radars for douche bags... haha!!!

But nonetheless, this waa really funny to read and was a good laugh... so thank you for that 👌😉😁😎

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Oh I know!

I've always told guys to just talk to us! We will respond! Unless you're a total jerk of course. Just talk! lol

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never used chat up lines.. rather crack a joke, or most of the time, just say hello first..

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Good! Yes, that is actually what we ladies prefer ;)

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Hahahaha true story!!! 👌😂😎

I guess it's my fault you remembered that :D

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Shame on you!

;)

Him: Did it hurt?
Me: Did What hurt?
Him: When you fell from Heaven. And landed on your face😄

That's one of my faves, here's my worst one...

Me: You're just like Cheerios
Her:???
Me: 'Cause I wanna fill all your holes with milk.

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OH! lol!

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Never used them, just jokes with coworkers when I was a waiter. That's where you get to hear the worst ones.

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I can imagine!

A little off topic, but: I used to roam the streets of N.A. busking and whatnot and I had a good friend named, Joe, kind of an ugly mother:( Anyway, he used to catcall women all the time and one night we were sitting in Fran's on Yonge St. at 4 AM and Joe says to this beauty, " you look in the mirror too much'....I've got​ a mouth full of coffee just as she replies​, " and you don't look enough!" Coffee goes spewing everywhere like when you take too big of a hit off a bong! Nearly died laughing as usually he always got the better of​ them.....

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I love it!!!

Perfect comeback!

She got him good hehe

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Nicaragua....aqua for my bunghole.....arriba...

"ÿou dropped your pocket" one.. think it means to do the impossible.

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The guy would say "excuse me" and I would walk over expecting to take his drink. He would suddenly exclaim "Oh! You dropped your pocket!" While pointing and looking at me feet.

Of course you'd glance down, which would break him in hysterics...

!

?

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hmm from that definition. it seems like a are you broke scenario.. but i don't get how it's funny.

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It seemed as if they laughed 'cuz you looked at the floor. Obviously when you hear "you dropped" you stop and look before the rest of the sentence!

lol I don't know

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UCLA

That explains everything.

I love the memes in your post :)those are some of the lamest and funny pick up lines...LOL

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lol thanks!

I usually just say no to girls

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Yea?

Nice ones! I know a few from mafia2 game, like: Hey, do you know the difference between sex and conversation?No? Wanna go over to my place and talk about it?

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Ha HA!!!

Thanks ;)

Did you really got all these pick up line while in college? 😎
They don't seem to be original. I have heard many of them before ...as a joke. I don't think they really work. 😇 So don't ever drop your pocket for them!

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Oh yes, I have heard them all. I wrote a book of them- there were so many!

They aren't original anymore cuz they've been copied by many lol

This post has received a 0.28 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.

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Wow, I am feeling special :) Gratzia!

I always hung out in bars where the girls would use pick-up lines on me! Saved me a headache!

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Really?! Tell me some!

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Hey, I just thought of a NEW pickup line... I'll upvote you if you'll do me! (or visa versa)

I've always thought pickup lines were a myth. I've never known anyone that says them. Yet, here you are, in all your glory :)

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No no, not a myth! Some nights I wished it were!

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You know, sometimes I'm really glad I'm an old, hairy, balding, chubby Dad - haha :)

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LOL!!!

Yea, sometimes it's difficult being a female!

lol do people really use these lines they are bad as the one I like to joke about " Hey baby are those space pants? Cuz that a$$ is outa this world!"

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Yes, my dear. Men really use these lines. It's amazing.

Especially us bartenders. I think we get the most because the guys feel more comfortable with us

Terrible, awful lines. No bloke with any class would use any of them.
Certainly not Sir Percival, now there's a class act! 🤒

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The potently robust, commandingly virile Sir Percival- aka Three Hour Power- has no use for such trivialities as a line

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How can I argue with such a smart intelligent and handsome example of the fairer sex?
I've got something in my pocket, could you grab it for me please? 😉

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Sir Percy?

You dropped your pocket ;)