My Life's Journey - Life's Card Game - Part 6 - Giving Hope

in blog •  4 months ago  (edited)

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Basically, my amazing Steemian friends, it was "long" drive home for my brother and me. The way our father looked haunted us all the way home. The only thing we talked about on the way home was how his father really did not want to listen to anybody in the way he had led his life. My father was a man who liked to drink his wine guys and no matter our warnings he never listened to us about it. He was a heavy drinker but he drank every day. He has a lot of skeletons in his "closet". And, I guess this is how he was dealing with his emotions. He survived a war, been a soldier in war, and when a man goes through things like this it leaves memories which are hard to deal with. Plus there are some more things I can add to the list of what my father has gone through. He did not have an easy life by any means, and those closed emotions and experiences have left a toll on his body.

If you missed the first 4 parts of the story you catch up by clicking below:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Where Am I Going With This?

Well, let me tell you. For you to connect all the dots you need to know the entire story and my father's previous conditions as well. As you know and I have mentioned before my father has a mechanical heart valve and he has to drink one medicine to thin his blood for the rest of his life. He is also a type 2 diabetic. He was also suffering from PTSP which he got from war. Not to mention, about 10 years back he survived Gullian Barre Syndrome, which he got from the flu shot. It is a condition where your immune system attacks your nerves. He was also a smoker before but he stopped about 7-8 years ago. As you can it is a long list and he was not a healthy man. My father really did not take care of himself and his body throughout the years and he would not listen to anybody about it. Now, all those previous conditions, have built up on top of this problem and to be honest not very many people thought he would make it through this one...


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So my father was not an easy case for the doctors by any means at all. With all the previous conditions he was hand-full. Not a simple patient to take care off. We have talked about this in our family and to be honest we were a bit mad at him for allowing himself to come to his point. As he did not listen to anybody about anything. He is good, but a stubborn man. But, this is what I kept repeating to my family. I told them, he has been through a lot, but he is STILL HERE. He has been here before.

With heart surgery, Gullian Barre Syndrom, and many other conditions. And, he is STILL HERE. His "stubbornness" to live despite all he has been through in his life will get him through this as well. He is a FIGHTER, and we all just need to give him a reason to FIGHT for himself. And, that is exactly what we are going to do. We just had to stir his stubbornness in the right direction. Because it is all we can do really? We can give him HOPE.

The Next Day

The second morning arrived and my brother had breakfast. Sat in the car and drove back to the hospital. Like before we came little early so we had to again wait for the nurse to come and the buzz is in to see our father. Without saying it, we both hope things got a little better since the last time we saw him. Soon a nurse came and buzzed us in and we were "off to the races" to get to his room. He was still in room number 4 in the last bed close to the window. As soon as we walked in we saw the smile on his face. Which immediately brought a smile to our face as well. He seemed to be better than yesterday.

My father Milan

The most significant thing I saw is that his lower lip is back to normal. And, his "eyes" which bothered me the most seemed like "part of him" is back. The hematoma on the side of his body was getting worse and it got even bigger. He was still falling asleep for 20 sec without him remembering he did. Plus, he was sleeping through most of the time we were there. So while he would fall asleep I would continue with my energy treatments my meditation teacher told me to do. Like I said I did not know if it works or not, but I kept doing it. It was for sure a more positive atmosphere than yesterday as he was getting a little better. He looked better. The first hour of the visit went fast, and we had to kiss our father goodbye and go for consultations again with the doctor to see if there is any more news about his condition.

So like the other day, we waited for a doctor to come to see if there is any news about his condition, but like the other day, we got no answers. She told it is a complicated case because of my father's previous conditions plus this one and we have to be patient as they run MORE tests. Both my brother and I knew they had to run more tests, but honestly, we just did not feel confident at all in the way she spoke to us. Something was off. But, we had no choice at the moment but to wait for more tests results. The only thing we can do is visit our father and do our best to give him HOPE.

Giving Hope

So waited another four long hours until the afternoon visiting hours. We just felt we should be there for him as much as possible to show him love and support. We wanted to let him know we are here for him. Our lives were put on hold at the moment and we were both focused on our father. So the afternoon visiting hours came and went to visit him again.

The good thing is he remembered us being there in the morning. He seemed to be doing even better than in the morning. We knew this situation can change at any minute when it comes to brain injuries. But, both my brother and I took him getting a little better and we ran with it. Keeping that positive atmosphere is important in these moments. And, so we cracked a couple of jokes with him. So did he on his appearance.lol I think laughing and smiling plays a huge role when somebody is recovering.

We told him we are still waiting on the doctors to do more tests, but they did find something on his brain, and that they do not know what it was. He took it well, and he understood something is wrong. So we told him no matter what he should try to be as positive as possible and that we are here for him. We will get through this together. I believe for him seeing us there was just a big motivation to fight. We were his HOPE, and we were his REASON to fight. But, I think no one could off imagined what was coming next, and how hard of a "fight" we will have until he gets better.

The Third Day - The Third Brother Arrives

On the third day, my oldest brother Minja arrived and I know some of you think this was a good thing? But, my brother Minja, even though he has good qualities, was always stirring up chaos in my family. He is full of negativity kind of person, and he is an energy drainer. Type of a person who creates chaos one day and the other day pretends as nothing has happened. I am not sure if any of you have a family member like this, but he is a handful to say at least.

He always thinks he knows everything about everything, and he is always right. He is a type of a guy who can work on a job for a day and then after one day tries to tell his boss on how to do his job. To a guy who runs his successful business for 40 years. He has many good qualities, but they are all overshadowed by the chaos he creates in people's lives. He had a strained relationship with my father throughout his life and they have not talked to each for a couple of years now...

So him being here for me personally was just another worry I have to think about. He is my brother, and he has every right to be here, but with his attitude, I was not sure he can be of any help to my father's recovery. As he is a panic guy as well. Many will think the way I described my brother that I hate him or something. It is actually quite the contrary. No matter how much chaos he has created in our lives I still keep deep down hope he will change his ways one day. Because he is my brother and I love him no matter what even though he makes it very hard on us to do so...

Anyways, guys, I am telling you all these personal and deep details because all of it is important for the entire story. There are so many details I have to tell you guys so you can experience exactly what I was experiencing. So you see the entire story through my eyes, through my feelings and emotions.

Thank you all for reading, all your love, and support, much love,

dbjegovic 💕 💞 💓

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THis update to the story of your dads condition shed some light of hole ad positivity which i have to admit made me want to do a fist pump as crazy as that sounds,
Thanks also for sharing your thoughts on Minja, your positivity shows out in hoping he can change, and i hope for you the family and him he can

Stay strong my friend and thanks for sharing htis story, I am a bit of a closed book i my posts for the most part about my thoughts and feelings reading these posts is motivating me to be more open about myself

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It does not sound crazy at all my friend. :)

Well, he is like he is, and for you guys to understand everything what happened you have to know the details and why this summer was one of the toughest periods of my life. The things will get even more interesting as we go along, and I just feel I need to share my story. I feel people can learn about my mistakes and my good decisions as well. :)

It is not easy to put yourself out there, my friend. And, honestly, now I know it is a good decision but I had second thoughts as well. But, keeping it all inside me started to mess with my life and it just needed to get out.

Thank you for all your amazing comments brother. I truly appreciate them. :)

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NO thanks needed at all, as I mentioned before i once bottled things up inside me and it turned me in the end into a person I didnt like so I do agree letting them out is all part of a good thing to keep ones sanity

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Well, my friend, the same happened to me and I realized very fast if I don't do something about it I will become the person I never thought of being able to become. So I decided to fight for myself and who I truly am. If I don't do it nobody will do it for me. :)

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Good for you to blog this story, @awakentolife. It brings back all my hospital times to me. It is such a stressful and fearful time when family and medical staff are all thrown to the mix with unending symptoms and setbacks.

But humans are tougher than we ever know until faced with such daunting times. I hope healing will continue for you all as well as closeness increasing that will help everyone.

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I can definitely feel you on "unending" symptoms and setbacks. As you will see what started happening with my father in the parts...

And, yes, we are tougher and stronger than we can ever imagine. More than we know no doubt. :)

Thank you for your kind words @fitinfun. I truly appreciate them. Sending you a big hug. :)

What a journey! I was away on a course last week, and I came back to chaos, so I've only just caught up on the previous part of your story.
It's very interesting for me, because my mother had a bad fall a couple of years ago (she's in her 80s) and at first she just seemed to have a very badly bruised face, but after a couple of days she started to slur her words, and then she was rushed to hospital. It turned out to be a subdural haematoma. I think it wasn't as bad as your father's, because it only affected her brain - which was bad enough! She had an urgent brain operation, and afterwards she completely lost her speech. The doctors didn't know whether she'd ever regain it.
After a few days, her speech returned - only every single word was nonsense. This was a very scary time for all of us. She was in hospital for a month, but she gradually got better, and regained her speech. Her memory sometimes fails, but apart from that she has made a remarkable recovery.
When it initially happened and she was suddenly rushed to hospital, I got one of the worst colds I can remember having. These things can affect us physically as well as emotionally. I'm really glad that your father recovered, and I'm looking forward to reading what happened next.

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Well, your story is very similar to my father's story. And we both had similar feelings about it when it happened, but I made a mistake on how to deal with those feelings as instead of letting them out I kept them inside... But, that is a story for some other time.

The biggest problem in my case was the hospitals which showed me how small is the number of truly QUALIFIED doctors are working in hospitals today. I feel too many of them cheated on tests instead of learning to get their diplomas....

In the next part, the drama will start to unfold, but our stories are very similar. So thank you for sharing your story with me. Have an amazing day. :)

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Goodness! I think most of the doctors in our hospitals are qualified - apart from some very rare fraud cases... I have to say that my mum's initial treatment for her head injury, including the operation, was just fantastic. There were issues around her "rehabilitation" care after the operation though. She was put in a special ward for elderly rehabilitation where they just sat or lay in bed all day. When she was eventually discharged, her muscles had become so weak that she had difficulty getting in and out of my car.
Looking forward to reading more about your father's story and how you coped with it. I don't think anyone copes "well" in these situations!

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I am not sure, my friend, but we were not confident about the doctors treating my father. Yes, he was a difficult case to handle, but it seemed like they did not know what to do for him. It seemed like they in uncharted waters hoping to find an island in a storm.

That is another thing of concern for my father. Muscle atrophy as well from laying down in bed for too long. Muscles lose function and it can lead to many other problems later.

As you will see in the next parts, our suspicions were coming true...

I am happy it all turned out great for your mom and that she has recovered fully. :)

I'm sitting here conflicted. I don't know if I should share my story or even if I cannot.

I got the call late one afternoon. "If you wish to see mother alive you better come right now." I was in Yuma and my mother was in Spokane, Wa. At that time I was her primary caretaker and she was visiting family in Spokane.

My brother woke me up with the call. I often sleep in two shifts per day and this was the first. I told him I didn't think I could get out before morning and promised to keep in close touch. I lied. I only tried to go back to sleep for about 15 minutes then got up and checked flights. No possible way to be there prior to noon their time the next day. I put together a 'fly bag' and got on my motorcycle and hit the road. It was 115F (46C) when I walked out the door. I called my brother from North Las Vegas about 5 hours later to tell him I was on the way. It was a 1500 mi (2400 km) ride. I stopped there to try to catch up with some hydration. I drank two liters of water and stayed until I peed. It was now dark and I was moving on.

By the time the sun came up I was in Wells Nevada. The temp was 26F (-3C). I had to stop. My shivering was inputting my steering. I called my brother to tell him where I was and when I might make it in. He promised to text me when he got to the hospital. Roughly 6 hours later I got a text from my brother to call him. Fearing the absolute worst, I did.

He told me that mom had renaissanced a bit and that we were now measuring the end in days not hours. And to get some sleep so he didn't have to come scrape me off the pavement someplace. He didn't have time.

I made it in time. About noon the next day. Turns out Mom had 5 years for us...

So. I guess the point of all those words is that the age of miracles is still upon us. Enjoy them while you can, they aren't always there.

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bigtom13 first of all, thank you for sharing the story with us. It is not easy sometimes to talk about those times.

I can partly understand how you felt on that journey with a motorcycle. Because I had 5-hour ride back home with the same thought as my father. That I might not see him alive again. I got a very similar phone call from brother that day. The trip back was a nightmare. So many thoughts going through my head...

I am glad you arrived SAFE to the hospital and that your mom got better as well and lived for another 5 years. But driving motorcycle on those temperatures is a bit "crazy." Really glad you made it safe there. Sometimes desperate times require desperate measures.

I truly appreciate you sharing the story with me. Have an amazing day, my friend. :)

@awakentolife, my goodness! Where to begin! Family dynamics are so complex, you seem to be the voice of reason in your family, I feel for you. I'm sure your father gets great comfort and strength from you. Hopefully this time together will help your older brother realize how important family is and jump in to help you. This has to be so hard on you, being strong and upbeat. Being patient, running tests and short visits with your dad, I hope you all were able to get rest and eat during this stressful period. Praying for you and your family.

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Well, my amazing friend, during this time I tried my best to deal with emotions the best way that I could but I have made some mistakes in that department. Some of the mistakes I am paying for now.

I was so focused on my father I ignored my body. It was hard to eat properly as most of the day I would be in the hospital. My mom helped out with preparing meals when I would get back from the hospital. But, the emotional stress definitely left a toll on my mind and body.

Those are some things I am currently dealing with but getting better at it every day. Life is one big book of LESSONS, and I have learned many during this summer. :)

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I feel like I am caught up now, hope everything works out for the best.

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I feel like I am
Caught up now, hope everything
Works out for the best.

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I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

I've been catching up with your 6-part story - am so glad your dad is better now - no thanks to all of you pulling and working together... Trust me, I know how difficult it can be...

So, we now need you to get better, which you definitely will... as they say the hardest part is the acknowledgement of the issue, acceptance and then only can recovery take place. So, you have half the battle won already! 💪 There's lots of lessons here to be learnt by all... Thank you for sharing it however hard it may be...

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I am sure all of us have their own stories of life to tell and many people have gone through similar situations. It was difficult but I am glad all paid off in the end. But, as you will see, these 6 parts are basically just the beginning of one long road to my father's recovery...

And, you are absolutely right, there are many lessons to learn from my experience. I truly hope to help someone with the mistakes and good things I did during this tough period. :)

Thank you my amazing friend for all the words of encouragement. Much appreciated. Have an amazing day. :)

I can totally understand your feelings and situation about minja, my amazing friend.

For some people they would have stopped him from coming.

He reminds me of my former mentee in life that does the same, adding chaos into chaos at times.

Nevertheless, I am glad that your father is starting to feel better. I do know that we all have a certain energy within us that can either make situations better or wreck it. And you chose and focused on the former which I believe has overflowed to your father.

Looking forward to read part 7.

BIG HUGS

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Well, to be honest, I was thinking about not letting him come but it was not my decision. It was my fathers and when he was ok with it I could not argue. Plus I had more important things to think about now. All of my focus was on him and getting him better.

But I knew it was not the greatest idea for various reasons...

Thank you, my amazing friend, for all your support. Sending you a big hug. :)

You being there was enough and you being positive was extra and it sure did help, do not have any doubts about it. Every single smile you gave, helped. 💚

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