Notes From an Amateur Writer #11 - Adults Sit at the Big Table, Children Sit at the Small Table
This is day 12 for me in @dragosroua's 30 day writing challenge.
ADULTS SIT AT THE BIG TABLE, CHILDREN SIT AT THE SMALL TABLE
I was reminded recently of times as a very small child when we would visit with family, with the roles that were performed, and the rituals that took place. Thinking back, trying to fill in many blanks, an image flashed before my eyes. As children we were at the low end of the pecking order. There is so much we did not know, so many mysteries around us. And the explanation for those unknowns and uncertainties around us come to us from those in our vicinity who stand higher up that pecking order. Namely our parents – the adults in our lives.
I remember at these family gatherings, where dinners were being served, even the layout and presentations would reinforce these layers and structures. It's not something I have seen in a while so I am not even sure if such behaviour still exists today, but the dinner table at these events would be set out for the adults present. At the end of that table would be a much smaller table, perhaps a camping or card-game table setup. For the children. Perhaps to reinforce the notion that they were at the bottom end of any authoritarian structure that may – or may not – have existed there in that environment. Or perhaps that was all that was available for the children's use, and was purely a matter of the economic realities of the time. Perhaps a bit of both, complimenting each other.
But such set-ups acted to reinforce these boundaries, and create division where such things didn't really need to exist. What they also seemed to do was instil in the children present the desire to rise, to reach the "bigger table", to leave these smaller people behind. To become an adult, in other words. Because to the child, the adult has all the answers. That is why they got to sit at the big table. And have their adult conversations, which to my child ears at the time were indecipherable utterances. Which automatically made them full of wisdom and power.
One day, I remember thinking, I will be an adult. I will know what's what. I will understand. The big table beckons.
So imagine my surprise, when rememberance of these events returned to me, with the realisation that I have actually qualified for use of the term "adult" for many years now, and left wondering when that wisdom and understanding would arrive. There were only two tables in my memories – the small table and the big table. Children, and adults. Did I miss something? Was there a larger table, but unseen by me? Perhaps the adults around were unqualified to sit there themselves, so out of their own shame failed to mention it's existence to me. Left us children in the dark, so to speak.
MY MELBOURNE CUP EXPERIENCE
Over the last decade I have worked as a tradesman for many wealthy (and not so wealthy) families in the city where I live. This job has allowed me to observe the level of success that many people have achieved in their lives, with the resultant wealth, houses, businesses, and networks that success has brought into their lives. One particular client - unknown to me at the time - owned a racehorse. This particular horse was running in Australia's most famous horse race – The Melbourne Cup.
So imagine my surprise when I turned up the next time to do work at his property, to see a life size replica of that year's Melbourne Cup winner in the sitting room. It still didn't fully dawn on me, as I don't follow these things closely. When moving to another part of the house, to what is the study, but seems to resemble a trophy room, there it was in all it's glory. That year's Melbourne Cup. The actual thing, not a replica, up on the top shelf, only a metre or so from where I stood. A race that pays out something in the magnitude of $5,000,000 as a prize. I felt, for the first time in my life like I had been issued, although just for a brief moment, an invite to the big table.
THE BIGGEST TABLE – FOR DREAMERS
And then it dawned on me. There really was an even bigger table. These people I was working for were most certainly seated at it. Perhaps a few of my other clients were too. The man who owned a brand new black Lamborghini – he would be there. The client who had had many acting roles on Australian television dramas over the years – he's there. A merchant banker – ditto. The Politician – probably seated at the head of the table.
All these people, I thought. I work for them all. I have set my sights too low. Whilst I had visions of making it to the big table one day – of being an adult, in a so called adult's world, these people were bypassing that nonsense, and forging ahead to tables as yet unknown to me.
My dream was too small! I don't want to win the Melbourne Cup, or become a Politician. That's not my dream. But I don't think it's about what we dream, just that we do, and pursue it. Become a published author – okay, that would be cool. Make a living from writing; yet another dream of mine.
Forget the big table, whose size is defined and held in check by those around us. I want to create my own table, without those silly restraints.
Images sourced from unsplash.com.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you liked it then please like, comment, and follow.
Notes From an Amateur Writer blog series:
Notes From an Amateur Writer #1 - The Search For Inspiration
Notes From an Amateur Writer #2 - A Call to Action: Interacting With the World Outside of Me
Notes From an Amateur Writer #3 - Facing the Challenge
Notes From an Amateur Writer #4 - The Soundtrack to Grief and Loss
Notes From an Amateur Writer #5 - Music as a Catalyst for Imagination: Jimi Hendrix's Little Wing
Notes From an Amateur Writer #6 - The Stories All Around Us
Notes From an Amateur Writer #7 - Introducing Nomad [A Cyberpunk Mystery in the Making]
Notes From an Amateur Writer #8 - The House at the Edge of the World
Notes From an Amateur Writer #9 - Making Peace With My Kindle
Notes From an Amateur Writer #10 - Learning the Craft of Story Structure
Short Fiction:
Bang Bang You're Dead
I Have No Name and I Must Scream
The Last Book Store
The Judge
I was wondering where this was going for a while but the payoff was worth it. This is really thought-provoking. Is there an ultimate table and if so, who sits at it and does it really matter? The funny thing is that everyone at those high tables wants beautiful things and good experiences and love. They crave - and in many cases - collect art. And while they are using it as a trophy, we are out there creating it.
Thank you for reading through to the end, and letting me show you where I was going with it. I was considering the concept of dreams, as they relate to the roles we play, or why we play them. The metaphor evolved in my mind from that.
Is there an ultimate table - I think it's up to us to build our own table, define the purpose of that table, and who joins us there. Is that the ultimate one? Again, that's up to the individual to decide. Write your own rules/build your own table. And yes, keep creating beautiful art.
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by naquoya from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, and someguy123. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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Great series, @naquoya! This post, in particular, very much reminds me of a line from here:
https://steemit.com/psychology/@erikaharris/yeah-but-can-we-declare-ourselves-independent-of-our-childhood-wounds
"Each little person has just as much importance and value, as the big people around them. They are held in the highest regard, and there's none of that segregated "The-kid's-table-is-over-there" mentality.
It is courteous of you to source your images.
If my post in any way inspired this one, an @ mention would be nice.
And if I have misspoken, I beg your pardon, and we'll chalk it up to coincidental timing, and great minds thinking alike :-)
I did read your post (voted on too if I am not mistaken), and was very interested in it. I didn't mention it, as I had actually written this last week (I have a few lined up ready). So technically it didn't inspire this article. But it did inspire me, in general.
You haven't misspoken at all, it was a fair and reasonable question. My apologies if there is any upset or concern.
Thanks, @naquoya... for your upvote, and your very kind clarification. I appreciate both.
Loving the thought and formatting that went into this article!
Thank you for reading, and sharing your feedback.
great writing - i learnt a lot from your structure and development - i love the Melbourne Cup too and would love to see the cup - may your cup runith over with happiness-David
Thanks very much, I appreciate hearing that. Yes it is quite a big event, and to see the cup in actuality, knowing its history and significance, was quite an experience. My cup did runneth over that day. And may yours also :)
dream big my friend
Very nice post, I'm in a quandary now, I think that I might follow you (this is not a follow for follow - I promise) good interesting content, someone is going to have leave on my following table :-)
Have I thrown a spanner in the works? Sorry :)
You're right it's not a follow for follow, as I was already following you - keeping the writing based blogs around, especially quality ones like yours. Am happy to continue following you either way, but if you jump on board, then welcome.
It wasn't a hard decision to make, I don't know why I wasn't following you already :-)
This is a beautiful idea. We are not measured by the table at which we are seated, but we do need to be happy with our table. We should aspire to be seated at the table we will be most happy.
Thank you, glad you could see what I was getting at. And the one that makes us happiest - that brings us the most joy - is our table :)
I remember sitting at the children's table when i was young. Now that I'm an adult I sometimes wish I could go back there, it might have been the ultimate table all along.
And how wonderfully ironic would that be? If we knew to appreciate it at the time, and rest in that knowledge that the "adults" table was a mirage, and illusion, then perhaps it would have been both our starting point, and our destination.
I remember sitting at the kid's table with all my little cousins and wanting to be with the adults! Have you seen the episode of Frasier where the brothers think they've finally made it to the top exclusive spa room only to find out there was another one they didn't know about? http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0582388/. It is hilarious.
It came to mind when I was reading your post.
Great writing!
Yes, with the cousins. Same for me.
I haven't seen that Frasier episode, but it sounds like a great take on the theme in question. Perhaps I can find it around. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. I appreciate it.
YES! The biggest table of them all is the one without restraints, the one that you have the capability to create for yourself. That's an awesome realization, brother. It will never be too late to fulfill that dream, and I just know that you're going to succeed with that. You already have a fan in me, and I'm sure that thousands more will follow once you publish your stuff!
Thanks for the constant encouragement. It's good fuel for a soul like mine :)
These daily Notes are helping me to write, and enjoy the process of writing. Like a daily writing goal (with neither word count or time limit). I have many ideas, usually just a title or concept, and when inspiration hits then the concept develops into a story or idea.
Short stories are also emerging from the recent mist of enforced rest. Again, no "have-to's", just following the White Rabbit of inspiration where she leads.