The story of you and me. Relationships are complex, illogical and inexplicable

There she stood, the nicest woman I had ever seen. In my mind, I never expected it, in those 12 years there had never been a nice woman in the gym. Until that moment, my life was not very interesting, had a strong idea that something was missing but did not know anything. In a relationship, I did not really feel so much since that was too often done too often. But then she walked into the hall. She had allure, charisma but did not dare to approach her. A few months passed and sports had become a reality. The most fun was the end, the end of training. There all the training turned around, a glimpse of a smile, the smallest contact brought me into the clouds.

Every week after training, sit on the couch as close as possible to her. Waiting till I could see her close, that one second made my day or even a week again good. I could see that day for a while. Her charismatic face, her attitude, I saw her and I knew it. With her I wanted to be the rest of life. I did not even know her, never said a word to her. Something happened in me, I had to and I would contact her. In my mind, I thought this would be nothing, such a lady what would ever see me in?

The urge grew bigger and I spoke to her a second time, a bit uncomfortable but comfortable. For me, it was not enough and sought another approach to go together. Without a doubt, they say yes, or she was finally happy that a boy asked her on date.
The date was fun and I felt "at home" with her after eating an ice cream, I brought her home and asked her number at the gate and that was the start of the happiest 6 years of my life ..

But now about 6 years later ...

she could not handle it anymore and I could not stand it anymore. Her tears about her cheeks, the blame she had because it did not feel good. We have tried it yet, but it was nothing more than a shame of the past. The things that used to feel so well felt strange now.
At times when you feel completely at ease with the other, there was no more. I did not want to admit it might change in the future. The hope was great but the chance was small. It felt otherwise it felt weird, we wanted it but it was no longer in it. The feeling you want it, but for some reason it just can not. But how did it get so far?

She doubted, we differ too much she said. I can not deny that we differed but that had never been a problem before. There were plans to live together but I thought it was too bad, I spent too little attention and we got arguments. I was fat and mean, a huge mistake, how could I ever be so stupid? Stupid enough, that was not even the most important point, the differences were too big and that would go wrong in the future and live together if nothing changed, she said. I thought about it differently, but maybe she would have the fear of never again.

The quarrel had broken something, something was different from first. I denied it and hoped it would leave itself. Nothing seemed less true because they announced that we could not see each other for a while. I already felt something, something was over, I saw her face when I picked her up at the station. Obviously something was wrong but I did not know what was right. We were sitting on the couch when she said, even though I knew something was wrong I was amazed and stupid. She left and I did not know what to do. A while later we spoke down, this time I was prepared but the evil had already been done. In a bit of a "dirty" way, I blamed her for guilt, so she did not make it despite her intention.

The weeks afterwards were also strange but still fun. We have done some fun together but eventually she could not do it anymore. It was time, and I could not hold her anymore, which would be common and unfair. The decision was stuck and it seemed to her as if there was a big burden on her shoulders. She was not herself the last week but we talked for a long time about the fun things we had done and that felt like before.

Together they walked to her house, it was annoying, it felt like a sort of death rhythm, but I saw her feeling lost and again the old one. We walked together to the gate and there we stood against each other. This was the end, we gave each other a hug and a kiss, the gate slowly closed until I did not see her face anymore, it ended when it ever started ...
I walked away from the gate with the thought that something big to wash out. As if you were floating on a pink cloud for years and that was over. It was too beautiful to be worth, too beautiful to be forever. How much luck would I have had? Although, I'm already happy when I think of the fun time we've had.

It was a party, a paradise a period in which I have never felt so happy. I feel as sad as sadness, you know the chance is that it will still happen, but the memories offer comfort. That brings a modest smile on my face. When I think how she looked at me with a loving look, I was immediately taken care of. I could drown in her eyes, the time seemed to creep past I was in another world where everything was perfect.

If I had no hope, it would have been bad with me. Very secretly, I hoped she would open the gate and fly in my arms and say she regretted it. I walked extra slowly, looking around twice and listening if I did not even hear a door open. But unfortunately nothing, nothing at all, how could I ever hope that it would really happen? In addition, I think again that I had never hoped to be together for six years with the love of my life ...
She said we met too soon. She had never had a different relationship before, or something that looked like it. I understood what they meant, heard and read a lot of stories about people who lived their lives but only one person.

It hurts to you, how do you know if you have ever eaten the best pie ever since you are some cake you have ever tasted? I caught it and my fear was that we would not always stay together. I was also afraid she would have a lot more fun with someone else. I think that's the biggest nightmare of almost everyone, happily seeing the love of your life with someone else. That you almost see she's happier than you. For me, there is still a bit of hope, maybe the upcoming relationships of her are very disappointing, and she thinks: '' That first cake I tasted was the most delicious ''. You never know and you will not always find it easy. Relationships are complex, illogical and inexplicable.

I try to live as well as possible and it's time for change. Although I go on with my life and get a new relationship, because honestly, it's fair, so is life again, she keeps thinking I'm ghosting forever. In fact, I do not even think so much, and who knows we'll meet again and it's the right time....

Thanks for reading.

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