Movie Review: The Nun - Jump scares galore

in #movies6 years ago (edited)

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Me again, that minnow guy, yep I'm a minnow now, oh you didn't know? How could you not, I made a big deal about it in this post. Also, enter my competition, don't think about it just do it.


Ok, now that we've dispatched with the formalities lets get down to biznaz! Last night we had nothing better to do on account of bad weather and no European footy on tele so I decided to hit up the IMAX for the first screening of **The Nun**

The Nun.jpg

Prescreening or rather Prescreaming

The Cinema was packed and there were even people dressed as devil nuns, blasphemous much? I'm a Catholic and that's cultural appropriation right there, I ma'am am offended. I didn't take any photos on account that I'm not a weirdo and well @brendanvanbreda lost his wallet in the parking lot so great start.

The cinema was packed which was cool, not that I was scared or anything I um, well just like meeting new people who share an interest in soiling their undergarments in public.

Anyhooz we eventually got to our seats which were right infront so no avoiding the scares or looking away with this big ass IMAX screen taking up your full view. No turning of the head will save you now!

The conjuring universe

In a world of cinematic universes as the new vehicle for milking an IP to death, we have the lesser known Conjuring Universe. Which I don't think was planned but sort of evolved from the success of the first two movies. Since there isn't a set formula for the content like with DC and Marvel these guys have more creative freedom to do as they please with the story. Which is starting to dry up in my opinion, instead of building a rich dark universe it's starting to become a jump scare franchise.

Catch up on the Conjuring universe timeline

The Nun

The fifth film in the Conjuring Cinematic Universe, Corin Hardy’s “The Nun” looks to flesh out the story of Valak, a demonic nun first glimpsed in “The Conjuring 2,”. Even though he Nun only made cameos before fans really enjoyed what the character brought to the universe and is why the Nun seemed like a slam dunk opportunity.

The good

The movie has some excellent production quality with some amazing visuals and great CGI while Taissa Farmiga acting as Sister Irene was pretty on point, even though here character let her down with some questionable choices and no motives.

The movie has all the elements for a classic horror movie, frightened small town, mysterious deaths, a creepy castle in Romania, the Catholic church getting involved and of course the supernatural elements.

Check, check, check! So where does it all go wrong?

The nun too good

Well as a prequel you're basically an origin story that needs to create a narrative that supports or explains previous on-screen appearances. But this movie never manages to answer a single question nevermind the one question a spinoff would seem to exist to provide: What, exactly, does this otherworldly demon actually want?

Valak seemed more like a Loki-esque mischievous child than an actual threat to anyone or a demon with any sort of malice or plans to poison humankind.

It certainly knows all of the tools of the trade – slowly turning crosses upside-down, casting ominous shadows, switching on old-timey radios, emerging from walls to grab terrified novitiates from behind, only to let go as soon as they scream.

Also, If we learned that if you pray in Latin it's much more effective. English clearly dilutes the holiness of the message.

Trailer for The Nun

The Nun's runtime is pretty short and with 96 minutes of standard-issue jump scares and no plot, no character development and nothing on the line. This movie seems to just be a way to keeping the franchise fresh in moviegoers’ minds while raking in some easy cash while we wait for the next proper instalment of the Conjuring. Oh well!

The movie also looks to set itself up for another sequel it does not deserve and I am Nun too impressed about that (Pun intended and enjoyed. Don't worry I won't make a habit out of it, oh wait did it again, booyah!)

My rating

This is no first attempt and it comes from a seasoned director who has built up a franchise and a following so we expect more from the story and the delivery. The twisted magic of the original Conjuring movie seems awfully distant these days and It's sad to see this franchise decline like the way the SAW movies did.

If they are not careful this could start to turn into a parody of itself and destroy all credibility built up with audiences by the first Conjuring films.

All things considered, I felt this was the worst movie I had seen in 2018 and I have to give this one a 4 out of 10.

Have at it

What did you think of the movie? Are you a fan of the Conjouring Series? Do you think they've milked this one a little too far?

Let me know in the comments

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Nice solid movie review there. I am not a big fan of horror so I think you saved my time and money there.

Loll'd hard at the double pun btw...taking humour back to grass roots there.

if this review can stop 2 people from seeing this movie then it’s done more than it’s fair share!

lol i had to find some way to entertain myself and the readers since this movie was so boring! Double puns are up there with Dad jokes we have to give them their credit

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Yeah, was going to say the same about Dad jokes...contrary to popular belief I actually think that people with a good sense of humour can appreciate the simplicity of a Dad joke or a well timed pun!

Hi there, okay now this was helpful, was planning to go movie this coming weekend and The nun is not going to be it now. Thank you

Lol no problem glad I could help someone save money and not waste it on this movie! You’re better off checking out Equalizer 2 or Mission Impossible fall out

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Yeah that was kind from you,
Equalizer 2 looks different...I hope it's up in the nearest cinemas here

If you want to you can check out my review of he equalizer 2 I linked to it in this post! Check under previous movie reviews

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That will be fine, I will never be able to go movies if I will keep checking your reviews :D kidding...I surely will

Hey thanks for that. Must say the trailer looked intriguing but now that i read your review it seems less so. I know that wasn't your intention, but its good to know.
Thanks

I’m a fan of the series and I agree with you the trailer was cut pretty well and their banned YouTube marketing campaign was also cool sadly all style and no substance

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Excellent review @chekohler, as you have suggested this will help those who may be on the fence about watching this movie.

P.S for those wondering what happened to my wallet, I found neatly hidden under the car in the parking lot with all artefacts intact.

We had to suffer so that others do not make the same mistake! Lol I think that was the scariest part of the night for you!

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