Breaking Habits and Building New Ones

People say that a habit takes 28 days to build. In fact, there is an awful lot of debate around exactly how long it takes to form a new habit.

Image by Arifur Rahman Tushar from Pixabay

Why is there so much interest in how long it takes? Why is there so much emphasis on time?

Is there special number of times we must do something before it will take root?

What if it's all a marketing ploy? What if building a new habit has absolutely nothing at all to do with how long it takes? What if it's all a distraction from the real truth?

Have you ever considered the psychological impact of forcing yourself to do something you don't really want to for 28 days? Do you think it will energize you? Do you think it will refresh you? More importantly, do you think it will make you happy?

Stop forcing yourself to do something you don't want to! Stop punishing yourself when you can't! Neither of these will have a positive impact on your psychological well-being.

Take pause before trying to change your behavior. Realize, that it's your mindset that needs to change first.

If you want to make a change then find your Why. Find a real Why. Then build that Why. Find the benefits. Then work to affirm that belief.

Nothing will change until you change your mindset. That's the hard truth!

You have to want something greater than your excuses.

Image by Arifur Rahman Tushar from Pixabay

Look, it doesn't matter how many fad diets you go on for 28 days. If you don't know why you want to lose weight. If it's not something you believe in, if it's not something you want, if you're just doing it because you think you are "supposed to" or "should", how on earth do you expect it to stick?

I mean really when you think about it, if you are forcing yourself to do something you hate, you are actively building even more resistance against it. This is one of the reasons why so many people gain weight after that fad diet. Their resistance manifests into a full-on revolt.

If you're forcing yourself to do something you hate, there is a high probability that you are going to hate it even more afterwards.

I believe this is the real reason people struggle so much breaking habits and building new ones.

Remember, building a habit is always easier than breaking one. If you want to try to stop doing something focus on doing something else instead.

It's important to focus on what you can do, and not on what you can't. Focus on what you want to do, instead of what you don't.

When you struggle revisit your list of Why. If it helps, write down that list and keep growing it.

Don't forget to celebrate your success. Celebrating your success will empower you.

Forgive yourself for any mistakes because focusing on them will only disempower you. Remember, no one is perfect. Everyone out there makes mistakes. Your mistakes don't define you.

You define yourself in the moment, by whatever you do now. Every moment is a new opportunity to make a better choice for yourself.

Forget about taking it one day at a time. If you're struggling, take it one moment at a time. You can build from there.

Remember, to make changes you can sustain. Making changes is hard. It's mentally taxing. It takes conscious effort. If you try to make too many changes at once you may deplete yourself to the point where it may be hard to stick to your changes. Allow yourself a little grace.

One foot in front of the other. Breath in, breath out. One thing at a time.

The best reason to make a change, to build a new habit, is to do it for yourself. Do it because you deserve better for yourself. Do it because you deserve your best care. Do it because you deserve your own love.

Image by Arifur Rahman Tushar from Pixabay

Here are a few ideas that may help you in your journey of building new habits:

Mindful breathing exercises: There are many free videos online and also apps on your phone. Allow yourself a break in the day, whenever you need it, to just breath it out. Mindful breathing can be a great stress reliever. Tip: If you're a smoker who is trying to quit, try doing a mindful breathing exercise every time you want a cigarette.

Meditation: In particular, I recommend guided meditations for when you are struggling to adapt to change. They can really be a powerful tool to remind yourself to love yourself, to care for yourself, and to give yourself time. Meditation can help calm and balance you.

Exercise: Exercise is a great stress reliever. Even doing something like yoga may help. Exercise can help bring body awareness, and appreciation. When was the last time you thanked your body for carrying you?

Patience and Forgiveness: Give yourself grace. Allow yourself patience. Forgive yourself for any mistakes. Focus on empowering yourself instead of tearing yourself down. It's OK to be human.

Envision the outcome: What will your life look like with this change? What will it feel like? What are the positive benefits. Try to envision yourself living a lifestyle that exercises these new habits. Visualization is a very powerful tool.

You can do this.

-Akiroq Brost

Check out my other articles:
The Difference Between Supporting Someone and Trying to Save Them
Real People Do Real Things
Defeating the Cycle of Psychological Violence Towards Yourself
Shifting from a Scarcity Mindset to an Abundance Mindset
Meditation for Beginners
How I Got Rid of My Excuses and Started Living.
Who do you surround yourself with?
Simple Common Sense Ways to Happiness and Self-Love.
Getting to know yourself - A Journal Exercise.
How to Find Your Way Through the Impossible Maze of Struggle.
How to use boundaries to improve the quality of your life.
Negative Self-dialogue - An Exercise.
Strategies for Coping With Criticism in a Positive Way.
Stop Hiding Behind Your Excuses and Live Your Truth.
Create a Life You Love with the Powerful Intentions.
How Self-Acceptance Will Set You Free.
Create a Life of Peace Through Mindfulness.
Strategic Detachment.
How to Handle Negative Experiences in a Positive Way.
10 Steps to Living a More Meaningful Life.
Changing Perpectives.
It is OK to make mistakes.
Finding your "Why".
Does this serve you? Or does this harm you?
12 Strategies for Improving your Diet.
Developing a new relationship with fear.
Finding Self-acceptance.
How to Find Courage When You Don’t Have the Answers.
Eight ways to increase and maintain your self-confidence.
Tips and strategies to help you get a good night’s sleep.
What matters? A journey into Faith.
Finding your way back to yourself, reconnecting to love.