Simple Common Sense Ways to Happiness and Self-Love

Many people fear accepting those things about themselves which they dislike, are unhappy about, or wish to change.

They fear that accepting such things will mean that they will fall into complacency. That fighting those things is what is needed for everything to not completely spiral out of control. We could be talking about a multitude of things here: Our weight, our lack of motivation or self-discipline, our lack of patience, our impulse control, etcetera.

The truth is, when we are not in self-acceptance we are often guilt-driven.

Image by Michael Just from Pixabay

We guilt ourselves over our decisions, we reprimand ourselves, we berate and degrade ourselves. We obliterate our self-esteem. We disempower ourselves. We begin to feel less and less in control over our decisions and actions. We begin operating in fear. What will our next screw up be? How bad will it be this time? Why is this always happening? Now, we are spiraling out of control! The very thing we thought would save us, is now destroying us.

The sad reality is that without awareness, many people will continue on this path.

They will continue to try enforce greater control over themselves. They will continue to lay blame on themselves. They will continue to disempower themselves. They will feel more and more frustrated and depressed. This will bleed into all areas of their lives, affecting their relationships with others, and their quality of life.

How do we stop the madness? How do we take our power back?

The answer may seem counter-intuitive: *We learn to let go. *

If we can just learn to accept ourselves as we are, without judgment, we can liberate ourselves from this damaging cycle. By letting go we can shift our focus from self-loathing to self-love. We can give effort, time, energy, and attention to loving ourselves. We can love ourselves as the flawed human beings we are. We can love ourselves as a work in progress. We can focus on what we can do, rather than on what we can’t. We can empower ourselves.

Image by Michael Just from Pixabay

When we speak lovingly to ourselves, and about ourselves, we become our own advocate, our own cheerleader, and encourager. We begin to feel better about ourselves. Our self-esteem builds. We feel a greater strength. It becomes easier to make better decisions for ourselves. Not because we are forcing those decisions, but because we are desiring them.

Acting out of love is always more powerful than acting out of fear.

Fear breeds negativity, which in turn breeds more fear. Love on the other hand, heals and empowers us. Love gives us the courage and desire to make better decisions.

Focusing on what we are doing right builds us up. We become more cognizant of what we are capable of. We become more excited about doing whatever serves us. We begin to step into our power and by doing so, we step further into our potential.

Being mindful of the present moment is so important.

We cannot seek to control everything, and we have absolutely no control over any other moment than right now. We can only ever make decisions in the moment. If we face life moment by moment, loving ourselves, encouraging ourselves, engaging in self-love, these efforts will add up quickly. We can have a huge impact in our lives by focusing on the here and now. Really everything comes down to cumulative decisions.

We can counter our weight by making many “better” decisions on what we choose to eat and do moment to moment. We can ask ourselves: What can we do now? We can become more motivated and self-disciplined by focusing on and doing whatever we are able to in this very moment. We can exercise our patience by holding off our reaction right now, even just for a few minutes and build on that. We can work on our impulse control by focusing on what we can do, and not on what we can’t.

It’s important to celebrate every good decision as a win.

Doing so will not only leave us feeling better about ourselves, but it will continue to empower us. We will be reminded and more cognizant of all we can do. That will lend us a lot of courage in whatever decisions we need to make next.

Little by little we will sort things out for ourselves. We will find a new peace and a new order in our lives. As we learn to accept ourselves, we will also find it easier to accept others, and the circumstances around us. We will have more attention and energy with which to enjoy our lives.

The bottom line is that we make better decisions when we are happier.

We are happier when we take the time to love ourselves and to engage in self-care. Self-acceptance is a key component in finding happiness. We must accept ourselves as we are, in order to become the best version of ourselves.

It all starts by loving yourself.

Stop fighting with yourself! Stop guilting and shaming yourself! Stop operating from fear! Let go. You are acceptable and lovable as you are. There is no mold you must fit. There are no expectations you must meet. Just be yourself. Be authentically you. Liberate yourself to just be. Take all the time you spent in negativity towards yourself and start spending it loving yourself instead. Watch what happens. You’ll be amazed!

-Akiroq Brost