Parenting Outside Of Your Home Country | Raising Twins Overseas

helenoftroy (57)in #healthy-home • 6 years ago

Over the years, I’ve imagined what parenting would be like, the sorts of things I’d do with my kids, and the experiences we'd share. But living overseas, in a foreign (to me) country has changed a lot of what I anticipated for this phase of my life.

The great outdoors

I grew up with all four seasons, though winters were mild. Matt grew up with harsh winters and humid summers. Now, we live in a humid climate with only two seasons - hot and hot/rainy.

I imagined going for long walks with my kids and driving to the coast on the occasional weekend.

^{Not far from where I grew up}

Here, we step outside for a minute and we’re drenched in sweat. The girls become lethargic little balls of heat. It takes a completely different kind of preparation and mindset to go out anywhere.

Of course, it’s always a great time to go the pool, so our girls are growing up comfortable around the water.

What to eat

Then there are foods. Matt and I love all kinds of foods and trying new things. But what does one feed their baby?! I homemake all the twins’ foods using ingredients I’m familiar with - pumpkin, zucchini, sweet potatoes, carrots, etc.

But when it comes to some things, I’m at a loss. Organic cereals are really expensive (we finally found a decently-priced, locally grown organic rice mix). And green beans ... I cooked them once but they weren’t quite the same. Fruits? The girls don’t like banana anymore (too sweet I think) and apples can be expensive here since they’re imported. There are a plethora of tropical fruits, but I know citrus is a no-go for a little while longer. Dragonfruit? Lychee? Longan? I’ve tried these and enjoyed them, but I don’t necessarily have the confidence to prepare them myself. Not to mention ... allergies!

It’s the same for me ... without much biological information to go on, medical issues are always “unknown”. I don’t know if any allergies are common in the twins' medical history. So it’s a bit intimidating to try things I’m not super familiar with or know others are allergic to - like papaya and melons.

Even if they don’t have allergies, their tummies are pretty sensitive, so new foods can make for some difficult nights.

Shopping

I always imagined packing up my kids in the car and driving them to the store. Having done that with my younger brothers, I know it can be a hassle, but it was also part of everyday life. And I liked getting out.

But here, we don’t own our own vehicle. Which means nothing gets left behind. Car seats, strollers, diaper bag, carrier bags, etc. all come with us when we go shopping. That doesn’t leave much room for groceries. However, living in a big city has its perks! I can go online, do my shopping, and the grocery store will deliver it to me for less than $1. Just going to the store and back would cost me at least $5!

The convenience is definitely a plus especially with two little ones in tow. The local “wet market” where they sell local produce also delivers!

New choices

Those are just a few examples of how living overseas has changed the way I thought I’d parent. I know that even if I were living in the States, parenting wouldn't be as I imaged. But living in another country really amplifies the differences.

While I miss sharing familiar experiences with our girls, it’s good to be out of my comfort zone. I have to re-evaluate what is really important and go out of my way to make those things happen. Or, I learn new ways to do things!

Were there things you want or made sure your children got to experience from your childhood? I'd love to hear about them!

If you're interested in reading the rest of our story:

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6 years ago in #healthy-home by helenoftroy (57)

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vanessahampton (56) 6 years ago

Mothers are almost superhumans. I actually think mine is.

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helenoftroy (57) 6 years ago

I wish I were! If I had a superpower, I'd be able to do things with my mind ... like make dinner, put toys away, vacuum, etc. all while holding the twins or playing with them :D

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healthy-home (51) 6 years ago

Yes, a #healthy-home is never ever as we plan it. Gotta roll with the punches(whatever that means!?).

I don't know why I'm okay with it.... But I am much more comfortable, than many others, with trying tiny bits of new stuff with the little ones. A tiny bit of dragonfruit with their mashed carrots. Etc. Their guts are getting populated right now with the flora that will be with them for life(or until their first large antibiotic dose), so introducing tiny, tiny bits of a huge diversity of things can be good. And fermented foods..... Had I said that? Easy salt brine ferments can make foods easier to digest. Not sure of the natural wisdom though on introducing fermented foods to babies.... but since some cultures eat 90% fermented foods, I'm guessing it is ok.

And then local wisdom...Do you have any locals sharing their opinions with you on what's suitable for babies? Longan and lychee are both fruits that have fire(I think) in Chinese food practice. So they may not be good choices for babies.

Peace

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helenoftroy (57) 6 years ago

Their guts are getting populated right now with the flora that will be with them for life(or until their first large antibiotic dose), so introducing tiny, tiny bits of a huge diversity of things can be good.

That's a good point. I feel like we have to make up for the two months they spent in the hospital getting injections, taking antibiotics, etc. So trying new things and watching them vomit or cry in pain has been really hard. And sometimes what one girl likes, the other can't handle.

As far as fermented foods, I agree! I was making kefir for awhile to help with their digestion. It's just a lot of work to keep up on. But I want to start again after we move. My sister also sent me fermented cod liver oil.

As far as local opinion, I'll have to ask our "stand-in" grandma what she thinks. The other moms I know here have widely different opinions (probably because of all the cultural background here), so sometimes asking is more confusing than helpful :P

Oh, and yes, we've been learning about "heaty" foods as they call them here :D

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healthy-home (51) 6 years ago

It truly is a unique experience. I can imagine the pain that comes when a new food gives them discomfort. And I am optimistic that this will begin to pass as their bodies and microbiology matures.

As always, virtual hugs and encouragment! I am so happy to be able to share in your experiences through your Posts.

Peace

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helenoftroy (57) 6 years ago

I don’t think I conveyed it very well in my first response, but I really appreciate the virtual hugs and encouragement!! Sometimes when I write in pieces, I don’t end up communicating my feelings well. I’m sorry if it didn’t sound very friendly 😔

I am really encouraged to keep trying new things. Like you said, it’s helping their tummies develop!

It’s been a huge relief knowing that the fussiness earlier this week probably wasn’t food-related but because of what they’ve got now (which I think is HFM). 😔

Thanks for being part of our journey! We’ve got a “virtual village” helping us out! 😄

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mirrors (56) 6 years ago

Change of places, of surroundings certainly impacts us in ways we cannot have previously imagined, and/or planned, even more when it comes down to family.
I agree.