Lecture; From "Ragnarok Conspiracy"; Parth Three Chapter Six

in #flashfiction7 years ago (edited)

In this new draft chapter from my upcoming first novel Ragnarok Conspiracy, our forensic science student Robert has fled New Zion and while looking for answers to his Moon experiences ends up at a guest lecture by Professor Bjarne Fjelstad.

Note that this is still a work in progress and an unedited draft. All feedback is highly welcomed. If you didn't read my previous chapters, please look at the index at the bottom of this post.

While I do attempt to write each chapter for part one, two and three of this novel in such a way that it works as an independent part of flash fiction, reading the chapters from start to end does, I hope, add an extra dimension.

Have fun reading and I hope you are enjoying the story so far.

I am looking for beta reading input. Please comment your feedback below regarding this (or any of my other) chapter(s). I'll upvote any constructive feedback and will run a @croupierbot mediated lottery with whatever the SBD part of the payout will end up as for this post.


Lecture

Fyn conurbation, August 17 2047

Professor Fjelstad, where are you going, sir?

As the old professor left the auditorium without saying another word, all eyes had turned to Robert. After Robert had asked his question about the Fenrir mythology, a story about a giant wolf in Norse mythology, Professor Fjelstad's facial expression had turned completely expressionless for ten, twelve seconds before the processor had turned around in silence and walked away in a hasty stride.
A young woman with short blond hair that was sitting next to Robert leaned towards him and whispered softly in his ear: You should probably leave now! You won’t believe what troubles professor Holm had to go through to get the famous Bjarne Fjelstad to come and speak here.

Robert quickly picked up his jacket from the floor and, while slightly crouching, tried to silently and inconspicuously make his way out of the auditorium.

Mmm … mmmMister Got ... Got ... Gottschalk?, P ... please explain what just happened?

Professor Holm was struggling to regain his posture, visibly working hard to refrain from bursting into tears.

What …, what was that all about Mr Gottschalk?
That question made no sense at all from a mythological point of view Mr Gottschalk. Why did you ask such a strange question, and why did professor Fjelstad react as if Loki himself was standing right in front of him and mocking him in his face?

As Robert’s mind tried to grasp professor Fjelstad's strange reaction to what he had believed to have been an innocuous and intelligently phrased question about the Fenrir mythology, he had to face the possibility that Professor Bjarne Fjelstad knew. If he was he likely would be in league with those New Zion roughnecks.

What had he done? What mess had he gotten himself into this time? His question, this question, might now end up alerting New Zion and give away his location. After all the trouble he had gone through trying to remain under the radar after. After Rachella …..
It came to Robert that he had to leave Odense now. As quickly as possible! He still couldn't get his mind wrapped around what happened at his apartment. Rachella had saved him from his attacker, but at what price? Robert felt a deep love for Rachella now, but at the same time, he felt emasculated by her sacrifice.
Was she still alive? Robert felt deeply ashamed now for giving into his fears and leaving Rachella alone with those dangerous men. Abandoning her.

Had that second guy coming up the stairs even been human?

Robert feared the worse for Rachella, but trying to find out if she was still alive had not been an option. If he was to give up his position, Rachella's sacrifice would have been in vain.

I am really sorry, professor, I really don’t know, sorry that my question upset professor Fjelstad.

As Robert felt all eyes still fixed on him, Robert let the door fall shut behind him and started picking up pace towards the main entrance of the university.

Robert knew he had to flee this region. Run away a second time to stay ahead of New Zion. Not one step closer to an explanation of how New Zion was connected to the monstrous wolf on the moon and to the carnage he had found there. Robert still could not believe how Rachella had saved him from that New Zion operative back in the Randstad conurbation. These guys were probably the same roughnecks that Pete had warned him about. These guys were serious trouble.

Why did Rachella need to get involved in all of this? His thoughts kept jumping to his mentor. He had to assume the Giant mountain of muscles coming up the stairs had killed her. Her kids growing up without a mother, all because she had intervened in the business these dangerous men had with him.
What else could have happened?

Just days after he had gotten to terms with the fact that his feelings for Rachella were more than just an infatuation. She sacrificed her life for him! Robert had to get to the bottom of this and expose New Zion and their role in this conspiracy.

But first of all, he had to manage to stay alive long enough to figure out how all things fit together.

That much he owed Rachella. But before all else, he had to get new Zion off of his trail. He had to survive, or Rachella's sacrifice would have been in vain.


Index

If you enjoyed reading this chapter, please have a look at the other chapters I've posted on steemit so far and follow me for more installments from this series:

Part One: Beginnings

  1. Dakila
  2. John
  3. Gwen
  4. Bjarne
  5. Rachella
  6. Pete
  7. Wietse
  8. Xavier

Part Two: Concequences

  1. Gwen
  2. Dakila
  3. John
  4. Pete
  5. Bjarne
  6. Wietse

Part Three: Robert

  1. Carnage
  2. Soviets
  3. Debrisphere
  4. Roughnecks
  5. Fiat 500
  6. Lecture
  7. Caverns
  8. Cipher
  9. Confrontation

Part Four: Midgard

  1. Tables Turning
  2. Trolls
  3. Captured
  4. Mindless
  5. Reset
  6. Air
  7. Coordinates
  8. Forgotten
  9. Foreign Dreams

Part Five: Nilfheim

  1. Perseus-Pisces
  2. Holocene Past
  3. Jötnar
  4. New Allies
  5. Old Enemies
  6. Whack-a-mole
  7. Antifragile
  8. Cold start
Sort:  

twelve seconds before the processor had turned around in silence and walked away in a hasty stride.

I think you wanted professor there.

he had to face the possibility that Professor Bjarne Fjelstad knew. If he was he likely would be in league with those New Zion roughnecks.

I think did was what you wanted here.

After Robert had asked his question about the Fenrir mythology, a story about a giant wolf in Norse mythology,

mythology -> myth
(The same holds true for the other use of "Fenrir mythology" in this chapter, it should be "Fenrir myth").

Professor Holm was struggling to regain his posture, visibly working hard to refrain from bursting into tears.

posture -> composure

After all the trouble he had gone through trying to remain under the radar after. After Rachella …..

Duplicate "after"; the bolded one should be removed.

Robert feared the worse for Rachella,

worse -> worst

Just days after he had gotten to terms with the fact that his feelings for Rachella were more than just an infatuation. She sacrificed her life for him!

infatuation. She -> infatuation, she
(It should be a single sentence, not two separate ones.)

Congratulation on winning pibara's @croupierbot lottery with this comment.

Capitalization notes for this chapter:

  • When the word "professor" is immediately followed a name it should always be capitalized as well (e.g. Professor Fjelstad, Professor Holm). If the word is used as a noun by itself, then it's okay to have it in lowercase.
  • You were good and consistent with "New Zion", but you missed the very last one of the chapter (in the final paragraph, you wrote it as "new Zion").

He had to assume the Giant mountain of muscles coming up the stairs had killed her.

  • Giant -> giant (unless Xavier's nickname is "Giant")

Nice. I did not see any issues with chapter. Poor Robert, left running and running.

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