From "Ragnarok Concpiracy" ; Part One, Chapter 1 : Blocks

in #fiction7 years ago (edited)

From "Ragnarok Concpiracy" Part-1, Chapter 2
Blocks
Manila, June 17 2027

What a way to spent my 17th birthday! Until yesterday Dakila's simulated single ladies had been steadily pumping money into his accounts, but today, with the latest anti-AI release, Dakila had to spent hours on end running his virtual ladies in sync-mode just to keep his targets from dropping out and moving on. Dating sites were like that. Lose their attention and they move their main focus to new potential conquests. Dakila had too much time invested in his AI-farm to let that happen now. Even in sync-mode Akila needed to be on his toes with regards to the increasingly pervasively used Anti AI. Anti-AI software didn't just detect Artificial Intelligence, it also did a pretty good job cross correlating discussions to detect scripted or cut & paste attacks by human scammers. Dakilla grew quite weary trying to come up with different excuses for dropping off the radar for a few weeks. There had to be a way around them! Dakilla had never been hit this hard before. Each of Dakila's ladies had its own unique AI. So while anti-AI was always evolving, it was quite unusual if an update would cost Dakila more than one sim or more than one target.

Today was different. Fourteen sims and thus fourteen high-value targets lost in just 20 minutes time! To make things worse, Dakila still being in a state of panic made a number of sync-mode cock-ups that now had made him lose another six. 'There has been a death in the family my love', What a stupid twat am I! Shit!. Freaking moron! The first shitty excuse I came up with, and I go using the same stupid line in multiple sync-mode video chats! Fuck!

Dakilla, are you coming down, dinner is ready!

In a minute mom, I need to finish this.

As he spoke the words Dakila realized he had probably just lost another one. Shit, bloody sync mode.

Mom? What is up Ligaya? Your mother died two years ago! At least that is what you told me.

Could he salvage this target? Damn, Theo was a big spender that the Ligaya simulation had been patiently milking for eight months now. Think Dakila, think, what would Ligaya say?

Don’t be silly sweetie, it is my land lady's mom asking me for the rent again. She is taking care of the building while my landlady is away. She is a really mean woman but if I call her mom she softens up a bit. I’m afraid she is going to kick me out of the building regardlessly. She really doesn't like me my darling. Could you send me an other BareunCoin or two to help me pay my rent this week?

As Dakila pushed the F6 key, the lifelike Ligaya simulation ran through a set of facial movement that had been Dakila’s ticket to success on o so many occasions.
Combining aspects of a disarmingly childlike cuteness with enough of a sexual undertone to render these middle aged horny westerners completely blind to the small flaws in the AI. Dakila made none of the beginners mistakes like making his sims too hot: no professional fashion models as template, no explicit sexual innuendo. No! Dakila’s sims were designed to be the type of girl that were cute but innocent. Not too innocent, no and not too young, don’t want to attract no pedophiles and through them attract coppers, no, all of Dakila’s creations were based on local woman in their late twenties. Add a bit of irresistible naivety and his own special brand of kitten-cute sensuality, and those midlife crisis horndogs would let their guard down enough to slowly start milking them for BareunCoin. And to be fair, most of them really had it coming. Their ring fingers more often than not showed discoloration and indentations that could only be explained by a wedding band having quite recently been worn on them. No these assholes got what was coming to them, "Karma motherfuckers", and if Dakila could make a lot of money by milking them to improve his finance, that was just a nice bonus. Theo was one of the worst and thus one of the best. Four different sims were milking Theo. Each of the sims got dangled the prospect of romance and marriage. Theo was clearly working towards a visit to the Philippines next summer, working towards taking advantage of what he believed to be real ladies. He must have thought himself a real player, but all the while the BareunCoin kept flowing into Dakila’s wallets.

Will do my sweet Ligaya; same time tomorrow?

As Dakila tried to come up with the right words to delay the next video chat for a number of days, a pop-up sprang into his screen. No! Dakila shouted out without thinking; Yes, yes, yes! Oh shit!

The puzzled face of Theo staring at him, or staring at Ligaya as far as Theo was concerned. This was big, much bigger than whatever Theo could provide for.

Yes tomorrow is fine, see you tomorrow.

As the face of Theo showed even more confusion now, Dakila ended the video chat and opened his analysis window. YES, YES, I’m the fucking king of the universe. Fucking yes.

Dakila, you remember what we talked about your sexual obsession with sims, don’t you. As his mom came into his room holding a plate of food. Dakila quickly minimized the analysis window on his computer desktop. I’m starting to think your father was right about this Dakila. We are sending you to therapy, this is getting way out of hand. Here sweetie, here is your silog. I’ll give doctor Ocampo a call right away, your dad said she does wonders with obsessed teens.

Mo-om, please mom, It is not an obsession and I said I would be right down mom, I turned 17 today, aren’t I old enough now to have earned some fucking privacy?

Dakilas mom turned her head looking at Dakila annoyed and a bit angry with a hint of indignation, but then a huge smile formed on her face, Happy birthday darling.
We will be talking about that putty mouth of you tomorrow darling, for now, enjoy your silog, Whenever you are done with your sims, come down for some birthday cake, OK.

As his mom left, Dakila opened the analysis. Is this real? If it is, I'm richer than Alec fucking Yi! Need to check against my own block chains. Maybe Mahalia is fucking with me.

As Dakila started a new analysis using the keys that he had found in a file on the laptop, Dakila had some time to contemplate what was happening. If this turns out to be real, who created this file and how did it end up on Mahalias boyfriends laptop. And why was the file placed in such a peculiar place. It was almost as if someone had wanted Dakila to find this file.
Focus Dakila, focus. Mahalia had asked him to look at her boyfriend's laptop. A laptop that would not boot up anymore. Damn you Mahalia if this turns out to be your idea of a practical joke. Dakila and Mahalia had been inseparable friends since as long as he could remember, but since Mahalia had hooked up with her 26 year old muscle-brain boyfriend four months ago, they hardly spent any time together anymore. The dumb goon worked for a private security firm and judging from his car and condo, the no-neck asshole was doing quite well for himself. When Mahalia had asked him to look at Kidlads laptop, Dakila hadn't exactly been overthrown with joy. Kidlad was a dumb ass compared to Mahalia. Why did she have to go out with such a complete moron. But it was Mahalia that asked him and refusing Mahalia something; anything, no, that wasn't an option, ever. Let her find out herself, when I'm filthy stinking rich she will see I'm a better man than he is.

But enough distractions, the 'keys' file! The laptop wouldn't boot for the simple reason that the boot partition contained nothing but a single file named 'private.keys'. No kernel, no bootloader files, no nothing, just the mystery file. This could not have been an accident. But no fucking way that mister muscle hadn't done that himself. Mahalia and Dakila used to play innocent practical jokes on each other, but never something like this. She was not dumb, but not computer minded either. So who had put this file on a place where it would be found by the first technical person to get his hands on the laptop. Someone had wanted this file to be found. Found by someone other than Kidlad.

A bleeping sound and a new popup window announced the second analysis was done. My God, it is real! Dakila had guessed the file could have been a concatenation of private keys and had run a search throughout the systems file-system looking for candidate public keys, and boy did he hit the jackpot. Hundreds of thousands of private keys had matching public keys on the laptop's disk, but that wasn't the most shocking part. The shocking part was the files where these public keys were located. Bleeding blockchains! The run on his own blockchains confirmed it. The keys in the mystery file were private keys linked to unspent outputs in the blockchain. Currency! Money! Loads and loads of real fucking money! The motherfucking motherload! No wait, this is impossible! Seven hits in my own wallet file? No! What the … ?!! Dakila's mouth dropped open and he looked at his screen with a blank stare and his mouth half open for almost a full minute. A minute that for Dakila felt more like a week. Then clarity returned to Dakila. This could mean only one thing! One option and an option that felt almost too far fetched: Quantum computing! Quantum computing on a massive scale! A fucking quantum blockchain heist! A motherfucking quantum blockchain heist! This is big!

Dakila started hyperventilating. He grabbed a plastic bag. Calm down Dakila you have this! Need to move fast! The heist hasn't happened yet, or at least not on a huge scale. You can do this, remember the retirement plans! Fake passports, offshore accounts. Off-grid pacific islands. Mostly everything is in place already. Who is Kidlad working for? People who can pull of a quantum blockchain heist? Jesus, Marie and bleeding Joseph, if these guys catch me! Calm down, breath, they won't catch me! Need to do this now. Breath Dakila, breath. How do we do this? Don't want to collapse the world economy. Don't want to bring the world's law enforcement down on this!

Filter it! Yes! Only old blockchains and only unspent outputs that have been dormant for more than 12 years. Yes, that should do it. Nobody should even notice! ….
You can do this Dakila. Don't rush it. Set it up carefully. Retirement at 17! Damn Dakila, you "are" the king of the universe!

~

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Hi @pibara, how have you been?

I've just started on reading Ragnarok Conspiracy and since you've requested feedback, I'll provide some new feedback.

First off, it looks like that you are referring to "anti-AI" as a specific piece of software, although a reader could get confused and think of anti-AI as a type of software. If it is indeed a specific piece of software, it will help to make sure that the capitalization and typefacing are consistent, even if it would mean breaking normal grammar rules. In this chapter I've seen three different forms of "anti-AI": "anti-AI" is the most common use, but "Anti AI" ends one sentence and "Anti-AI" begins the next sentence immediately thereafter. I think you need to pick one form and stick with it throughout the text.

Other punctuation issues: "cross correlating" should have a dash (cross-correlating), while AI-farm and file-system should not (AI farm), (file system OR filesystem). Possessives need an apostrophe before the last "s" if the original name or noun does not end in "s" (e.g. Dakilas should be Dakila's, Kidlads should be Kidlad's, Mahalias should be Mahalia's, systems file-system should be system's file system).

One sentence that I'll fix for you: Not too innocent, no and not too young, don’t want to attract no pedophiles and through them attract coppers, no, all of Dakila’s creations were based on local woman in their late twenties.

Corrected version: Not too innocent and not too young, don't want to attract pedophiles and through them attract cops, no, all of Dakila's creations were based on local women in their late twenties.

Conversation between Dakila and his mother should have quotation marks surrounding their spoken words. For instance:
"Dakila, are you coming down, dinner is ready!"
"In a minute mom, I need to finish this."

The 3 paragraphs involving Dakila, his mom, and food are also missing a lot of quotation marks in the conversation.

This first chapter definitely needs some editing work. I'll withhold judgment on the story itself until I've had a chance to read some more chapters. Hope my feedback helps though!

So to isolate those 3 paragraphs of conversation instead of packing an already long wall of text some more, here is how I think it should read:

"Dakila, you remember what we talked about your sexual obsession with sims, don’t you?" As his mom came into his room holding a plate of food, Dakila quickly minimized the analysis window on his computer desktop. "I’m starting to think your father was right about this Dakila. We are sending you to therapy, this is getting way out of hand. Here sweetie, here is your silog. I’ll give doctor Ocampo a call right away, your dad said she does wonders with obsessed teens."

"Mo-om, please mom, it is not an obsession and I said I would be right down mom, I turned 17 today, aren’t I old enough now to have earned some fucking privacy?"

Dakila's mom turned her head, looking at Dakila annoyed and a bit angry with a hint of indignation, but then a huge smile formed on her face. "Happy birthday darling. We will be talking about that potty mouth of yours tomorrow darling, for now, enjoy your silog. Whenever you are done with your sims, come down for some birthday cake, OK?"

Nice start.

All feedback is highly welcomed

Just a few spelling/inconsistent errors. I myself am no spelling/grammar genius, in fact I hate it when people point out my errors when responding to a post. You did ask on one of your more recent post for correction and varios feed back. Not sure if you meant for feedback this far back though, so will be the only one for now until I am sure you want a pick me apart spelling consistency corrections.


Here goes:

Dakila had to spent hours on end running his virtual ladies in sync-mode just to keep his targets from dropping out and moving on. (had spent hours)

Dakila had too much time invested in his AI-farm to let that happen now. Even in sync-mode Akila Dakila needed to be on his toes

Dakilla (Dakila) grew quite weary trying to come up with different excuses for dropping off the radar for a few weeks. There had to be a way around them! Dakilla (Dakila) had never been hit this hard before. Each of Dakila's

Dakilla, (Dakila) are you coming down, dinner is ready!

Could you send me an other BareunCoin or two to help me pay my rent this week? (another)

We will be talking about that putty mouth of you tomorrow darling, (potty?)

Who is Kidlad working for? People who can pull of a quantum blockchain heist? (off)


Enjoyed the story so far.

Thank you very much for the valuable input.

Please have a look at this. I decided to run a monthly beta reading lottery. Please look at the post for details.

I'll consider the above as entry for inconsistent spelling of Dakila. You may add separate comments below for the other parts if you wish, and please comment on the contest page that you commented here so you also compete for the $10 SBD price for this month.

Good luck.

MARK:naming:bashadow

(Ignore, just a mark for last lottery draw)

Hi, @pibara

Thank you for inviting me to this page.

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I am here to help with the impartial drawing a winner from the following contestants:\ :

The block number of the current head of the block chain is 15984207.
After block 15984400 is added to the blockchain and becomes irreversable, I will anounce the winner using the witness signature from that block.

OK, I have drawn the winner.

The winner of the draw is @doughtaker .

This winner has been drawn using block 15984400.

OK, I have drawn the winner.

The winner of the draw is @doughtaker .

This winner has been drawn using block 15984400.

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