🍌 It's a Caffeine Conspiracy! 🍌

in bananamemos •  3 months ago

"Truther Red Peel" is, of course, not my real name. But I gotta watch my back, you know? Lot of nefarious players out there trying to keep us Truthers from speaking out and exposing their dirty deeds.
Get ready, 'cause I'm here to drop some Truth Nuggets on you. Truth Nuggets are sort of like the red peel that Morpheus gave to Neo in the Matrix movie; once you've been "red peeled," you've been shown the truth and there's no going back!




I'm Truther Red Peel, and I'm gonna be layin' down some Truth Nuggets for you today. Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlemen (and everybody else), 'cause this is something that will impact a great many of you.

I have discovered that there is NOT more caffeine in an espresso than in a cup of coffee!

Who is behind the propaganda that we've been fed all these years, tellin' us that we can wake up quicker and more effectively by downing a teeny cup of espresso rather than our regular mug of joe?





Before you go any further, Mr. Red Peel, I feel it incumbent on me to elucidate that colloquial Americanism. "Joe" in this instance refers to "coffee."











huh??

Was that really necessary, Professor? To interrupt what I'm layin' down for the people, to give them a Scrabble hint?








Most assuredly so. As an esteemed professor of Literature, etcetera at Bruisington University, I am most adamantly committed to the proper use of language.











Okay, well, whatever.

As I was sayin'... The Man has been pullin' the wool over our eyes about coffee for decades! But who is trying to fool us all, and what is their agenda? That's the question you gotta ask yourself, people.

Were these untruths spread by café owners, in order to sell you the fancy little cups of espresso rather than the cheaper drip? Were the untruths spread by espresso machine manufacturers, just to put more money in their pockets? Or perhaps we have all been misled by the Italian people in a very successful and nefarious scheme to get us to visit their country to try those little specialty drinks? As we all know, the Italians' dedication to art, commitment to taking care of ancient structures and buildings, and pride in their beautiful countryside and stunning coasts -- all of these are secondary lures for travelers. The #1 reason people visit Italy is for the caffeine rush of those several-times-a-day espresso shots best gulped down while standing at the counter.




You can hardly blame caffeine content on the Italian people, Red Peel!










I'm just connectin' the dots, Tassium. I'm not tellin' people what to believe.

But to get back to what this post is all about -- Thinkin' and believin' that we're getting more caffeine bang for our buck by drinkin' espresso. Was it all a mind game?

Who among us hasn't felt their blood pumpin' faster and their head feelin' clearer after just one shot? We've been duped! Connect the dots, people. This here is what is called a placebo effect, where we think a drug (or, in this case, an espresso) is havin' an effect on us when there's really no scientific evidence to back that up.

Okay. Let me take a breath here. I just had me a double shot and my mind's racin'.

Come down the rabbit hole with me, people, while I give you some facts.

  • A single 1-ounce shot of espresso has about 40 mg of caffeine.
  • A double espresso has, you guessed it, 80 mg.
  • A 12-ounce cup of joe... er, coffee... has about 120 mg of caffeine.
  • So -- doin' the math here for ya -- you'd have to have a single AND a double espresso to equal the amount of caffeine you'd get in your basic cup of coffee.

But wait. There's more. According to Coffee Chemistry's website,

During the 1950's a typical serving size of coffee was between 4 to 6 fl oz (118-177mL), but over the years our "cup" size has grown almost eight times since. Starbucks' smallest cup ("short") is 8oz, while their largest cup ("venti") is about 20-24oz.
But in 2011 Starbucks topped it by introducing the "trenta" which measured in at a whopping 31oz of coffee. Yes, folks, almost a quarter-gallon of coffee!

I don't even want to know how much caffeine is in a quarter-gallon of coffee; it's twistin' my intestines just thinkin' about it.



I hear ya, Truther. I usually just get past all this confusion by ordering me a cafe grande WITH a shot of espresso. I cover all my bases that way, see? I got the espresso shot for a quick jolt of caffeine, then I got me the sippin' part of the coffee drink, to slow down the caffeine intake and spread it out over the 30 minutes or so that it takes me to drink it.













That's nice, Roxana. Whatever.

So, to get back to what I think was my main point: We're bein' caffeinated. We know we're bein' caffeinated 'cause we're the ones drinkin' the stuff. We just want to make sure that they know that we know what's goin' on.

Welcome to the Red Peel Club!

And to miscommunicated caffeine information!


@bananamemos


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Thanks! :-)

I wonder how many grams of caffeine is in my cup of coffee that my husband just made for me. I wake up to this every single morning.

Anyway, the espresso does keep me awake for hours and it's what I'd drink when I have to stay up to finish an assignment due the following day. And that's because I was conditioned to think that espresso is better than a regular coffee even though it's in a mug. The espresso perks me up. Unless there really is no difference. Either way, I will still be caffeinated.

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You are lucky to have such a thoughtful husband, making coffee in the morning!

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I am indeed! Then when I am upset with him, I make my own coffee. Lol!

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I'm tellin' ya, @evlachsblog -- the wool has been pulled over our sleepy eyes! We ALL have been actin' like we're perkier when drinkin' those tiny, concentrated espressos, but it just ain't true.

Shows us the power of the mind and the power of suggestion, doesn't it?

There's a formula on that Coffee Chemistry website that can tell ya how much caffeine is in an ounce of coffee versus an ounce of espresso. I don't got no time for that -- I'm down another rabbit hole, workin' on my next Steemit post!

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You know what, Truther, you're right, because sometimes I drink espresso in the evening and I can still fall asleep with no problem at all. Just goes to show that an ounce of caffeine isn't really enough to keep me awake.

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Some in the Coffee Truth movement say that caffeine doesn't really affect us until 4 hours later. I can't say either way, but it's certain that the veil is being lifted from the conspiracies that have been keeping Caffeine Truth from us all.

Thanks for the information @bananamemos, I do not spend more on expresso

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Welcome to the Red Peel Club, @disguarpe.

It turns out that caffeine is Big Business. But now that the People know the Truth, there's a whole lotta money to be saved (and then invested into crypto).

lmfao...what did I just read!? What a clever way to use bananas! I think I ate P.O. Tassium this morning and turned him into poop.

Hilarious!

The best coffee I have ever had was from a Percolator and made in a Campfire.

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I can tell you're pickin' up the Truth that I'm layin' down, @bitfiend.

I gotta agree with you on the open-fire coffee experience... the best way to intake that daily caffeine infusion!

I just drink a litre of regular coffee a day. That's not bad for me. Not like those espressos.

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Yikes. A litre, @profanereviews? I dunno, Dude. That's a lot of coffee.
On the other hand, something's gotta keep us goin' while Steemin', eh?
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I'd like to say that this is true but I drink the coffee between 5 and 9 in the morning and don't get Steemin' until after 5 PM. I used to drink more but was told to cut back. I actually only drink half a litre four days of the week now.

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If I may butt in here, @profanereviews -- In my secret laboratory, I have created the perfect snack for extra energy while Steeming:



One doesn't need caffeine with a super-infusion of potassium and minerals!
Dr. Frankenpeel's genetic marvel

When I started reading this I though oh no, Truther Red Peel has gone too far, this cannot be true! One espresso give me a jolt that lasts for hours! Not that I drink one very often and I won't pay the big bucks for a Starbucks whatever-size. Not sure about the Italians, but your data seems right and I'm convinced now!

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Sorry about red-peeling you like that, @donna-metcalfe. It's what I do. Gotta tell the Truth when I uncover it.





On the other hand, Donna Dearie, if you get a little pick-me-up from your wee little cup of espresso, where's the harm in just keep on doing what works for you? I remember when I was... oh, never mind. This is Truther Red Peel Dearie's post, so I won't intrude.
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Nothing to be sorry for, I appreciate having the truth peeled back!

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Lol I can't tell the difference personally and in my locality, we have mosquitoes that bite us to wake us up.

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I hear ya, man. Sometimes caffeine is caffeine, in whatever form it comes. There's even little coffee-flavored candies. You don't want to get me started on that, @belemo!

Thankfully, I don't drink coffee. I'm a tea drinker, that's were I get my caffeine.

I avoid Starbucks, because I live in Dunkin' Country (Boston).

This video was shot near my house, all these Dunkin', are within an approximately 3.5 mile distance.

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That video is a riot! A Dunkin' Donuts IN the rotary ("roundabout" is non-Boston areas, haha). Definitely a man who likes his donuts. 🍩


You're not off the caffeine hook though, @emergehealthier. You gotta take into account the different caffeine levels in herbal, white, green, black and decaf teas (which aren't totally decaffeinated). It's one big confusing swirl of caffeine out there!
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I know, even decaf tea and coffee contain low levels of caffine. Caffine is in chocolate and many headache medicines.

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... and candy and gum and popcorn...