🍌 Conspiracy Theorist, Truther Red Peel and ~ fabric softener sheets? 🍌
I'm Truther Red Peel, here to shine light on weird things happening on Earth.
Have I got a Truth Nugget for you today!
I was at my mom's doing my laundry...
What? Even Truthers like me gotta do laundry sometimes. And laundromats are too expensive; the Truth Business don't pay that much. Plus Mom usually feeds me while I'm over there.
Anyway. As I was saying, I got home with my laundry basket and, once inside my apartment, noticed that my clothes were really smelly. In a sickeningly-sweet-makes-you-gag smelliness way.
It was from the fabric softener sheet my mom put in the dryer with my clothes. SHE thinks it makes her clothes smell like a meadow of flowers, but in actuality, it's nothing but toxic, noxious chemicals on those fabric softener sheets.
You gotta ask yourself, "Why would there be toxic chemicals on products we buy in the grocery store?"
I'll tell you why. It's another way the evil corporations and bankers who run the world keep the rest of us sick and confused, hoping we won't notice what they're doing.
I mean, what's wrong with clothes smelling like clothes? Why they gotta smell like the perfume counter at the department store. Which is another thing that doesn't need to smell so strong... but back to the Truth Nugget at hand:
According to my in-depth research, fabric softener (both sheets and liquid) contain
benzyl acetate (linked to pancreatic cancer), benzyl alcohol (an upper respiratory tract irritant), ethanol (linked to central nervous system disorders), limonene (a known carcinogen) and chloroform (a neurotoxin and carcinogen), among others.
That's from an article on Scientific American, folks.
You ask me, "Red Peel, are you sayin' that the Dark Hats are tryin' to poison us and make us weak?"
Damn straight that's what I'm tellin' you. Do the research, connect the dots, people. It's gonna take you down a rabbit hole, but you've got ol' Truther Red Peel right by your side.
And 
to fabric softener. At least the poisonous kind.
If you want your clothes to smell like the fresh outdoors (I'm talkin' at you, Mom), hang them outside.
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Thank you for that lifesaving information! I just threw all of my clothes out by the road for garbage pickup, hope my neighbors didn't see me. 😮
Okay, I've had time to shower all of the toxic chemicals off of my body, do you know if its safe to wear plastic trash bags, or should I wrap myself in paper towels until my Amazon delivery arrives? 🤔
That was good, I like the red pills! 😉
In the meantime, I hear ya, you're standing out in the driveway, nekkid in front of the neighbors. Ain't nothin' ol' Red Peel hasn't been through. I hadn't thought of the paper towels, which seems like a good temporary solution.
You are obviously a wise and discerning individual, and don't need to be red peeled. Rock on! And props to you for the re-steems. You are A-OK with this Truther, and have front seat dibs in my underground bunker if you need it!
Ha ha ha, I'll keep that bunker in mind for a survival weekend gettaway place! 😎